Here it is…Arcadia.
This is my THIRD attempt at posting this:
Clyde Bruckman
“Banana cream!” The autoerotic asphyxiation bit. And the look on that agent’s face when Clyde says his smoking habit won’t kill him. He’s stabbed in the eye and murdered moments later.
Jose Chung
Mulder and the pie. Alex Trebek and Jesse Ventura.
Memoirs of a Cigarette-Smoking Man
For a truly immortal TV moment: the most ruthless man in the world, point man for the insidious conspiracy to obfuscate The Truth, is a frustrated novelist.
“Life is like a box of chocolates, a cheap, thoughtless, perfunctory gift no one ever asks for. Unreturnable because all you get back is another box of chocolates. So you’re stuck with this mostly undefinable whipped mint crap, mindlessly wolfed down when there’s nothing else to eat during the game. Sure, once in a while you get a peanut butter cup or an English toffee, but it’s gone too soon and the taste is fleeting. In the end you’re left with nothing but broken bits of hardened jelly and teeth-shattering nuts, which if you are desperate enough to eat, leaves nothing but useless brown paper wrappers.”
Pretty much anything involving the Lone Gunmen. Well, except for their deaths, but seeing as season 9 didn’t happen as far as I’m concerned, that’s not really a problem.
Quagmire: since somebody already took the conversation on the rock, I’ll go for Queequeg being eaten. I felt sorry for Scully, but I loved her calling for the dog “Queequeg! Queequeg! Quee…Queequeg?”
Triangle: Mulder kissing the 1939 version of Scully “in case they never meet again” only to have her deck him. Also the whole conversation when Mulder’s in hospital at the end.
Jose Chung’s From Outer Space: Mulder screaming like a girl. And everything else in that episode.
Bad Blood: Mulder and Scully’s different versions of what the sherriff looked like.
Humbug: Scully pretending to eat the bug.
That’s all I can think of for now.
The episode is Conduit, from the first season. The boy’s sister was kidnapped by “something,” and the boy was the titular conduit, receiving messages through TV static. The 1s and 0s were decoded to classified transmissions from some satellite.
IIRC, the boy went on to become posessed by the spirit of his stillborn twin brother in The Calusari. (same actor, different character 
)
Jose Chung’s “From Outer Space”: “There’s your bleepin’ alien!”
And I actually like the myth-arc “conspiracy” episodes. At least, the earlier ones before they really started revealing things and continuity began breaking down. Then there’s the Super Soldiers… :rolleyes:
Oh wait… Lucy Lawless naked. mmmm… 
I thought they did a terrific job with the two-parter in which Mulder finally learns what really happened to his sister. The explanation was creative and the moment he meets her again was appropriately weighty given the years he had searched. And the bittersweet twist at the end, where the psychic who helped him refuses to confront the fate of his own lost child, was nice.
Another vote for Jose Chung’s From Outer Space… man, what a great episode.
My laugh-out-loud favorite moment has to be from Jose Chung’s From Outer Space, when Mulder stumbles across the body of the “dead alien” and gives this high-pitched girly scream.
I also liked the episode in which Scully and Mulder are trapped underground by the giant people-eating fungus and every time they think they’ve managed to escape, the green goo starts to drip around them and they realize they are still underground. Great creepy episode.
I know there are about a million more “favorite moments” for me, but I can’t think of any more at the moment.
I always loved the episode, I can’t remember the name, where Scully and Mulder get stuck on a rock in a lake. IIRC, Mulder was hurt or maybe just tired, and Scully reaches up to put his head on her lap and he said, “Scully, I don’t wanna wrestle.” Then she sang “Joy to the World” to him. Priceless!
I LOVED the Lone Gunmen! And you’re right, season 9 and JTS didn’t happen.
But the best: Unusual Suspects, where Byers challenges X about the Kennedy assasinastion and he looks at them and says “I heard it was a lone gunman”. And that’s where it all starts for them. Wonderful.
I think this is Quagmire.
I’m afraid to admit this, but I never caught Jose Chung’s From Outer Space.
“Her name is Bambi?!!!”
Also from Jose Chungs:
“Rock-eee. Be thou not afraid. No harm will come to theeee…”
“But what about the creature that abducted you?”
“What, you mean Lord Kinboat?”
“Have you found any metallic implants in your skin?
Have you looked everywhere?”
You’ve got two scenes mixed up here.
Scully and Mulder are on a rock in a lake in Quagmire, but the rest of this, including Scully singing “Joy to the World,” is from a later episode called Detour, where they were lost in the woods.
:smack:
Another vote for Jose Chung - Alex Trebek!
Other moments -
The one with Duane Barry screaming ‘THEM!’ at the sky when Mulder demands to know who’s taken Scully.
The one that takes place on a submarine and the bad Nazi characters are Spender and the Cigarette Smoking Man.
The one with the vampires and the hot, but dim sheriff - Luke Wilson, IIRC.
The one with guest stars Tea Leoni and Garry Shandling playing screen adaptations of Scully and Mulder. A goofy episode but I love the bit where Tea’s character asks Scully how she manages to run in high heels. Tea then gets on her cell phone with her agent, oblivious to Scully’s demo - the sight of Gillian Anderson running up and down the sound stage made my sides ache.
Best line: “This is where you pucker up and kiss my ass!”
Best conclusion: The episode (not mentioning names because I don’t know how to use the spoiler code) where they pull off the mask and the bad guy turns out to be the Sheriff. How Scooby Doo can you get?
I loved the bit in Bad Blood where Mulder throws the sesame seeds on the floor and the vampire (who is obsessive compulsive and must pick them up) says, “Now, why’d you have to go and do that?”
I enjoyed any time when Scully went off describing some theory that Mulder might enjoy or subscribe to and Mulder would respond by saying, “I’m getting extremely turned on” or “Scully, will you marry me?”
The end of The Pine Bluff Variant, where whatshisname shoots the gimp instead of Mulder and helps him get away.
Paper Hearts, when Mulder tells Roche that he was admitting to abducting his sister from that house… the wrong house.
In Kitsunegari, when they find the guy killed by the paint. There are Japanese characters painted all over the walls and furniture. Mulder spreads his arms and says, “I’m guessing this is a clue.”
I forget which ep it was, but when Scully was in the hospital receiving treatment for me, he saw the priest come in, and, deciding he should leave, he told Scully to say a few Hail Mulders for him.
Didn’t Gillian Anderson actually swallow the cricket?
It was a boy and the picture was of his kidnapped sister. Very cool.
My favorite X-Files moment was when it went off the air.
Irresponsible TV.
I liked the ep written by William Gibson. Mulder and Scully have captured a renegade programmer who happens to be hot and female and bring her to the Lone Gunmen’s lair in cuffs. The Lone Gunment recognize her and are just AGOG at her, as she’s legendary in their circles, and also hot and female.
She goes up to one of the computers and starts poking around on the keyboard. “Are you going to take these off or am I going to have to do this in handcuffs?”
The Lone Gunmen stare at her with eyes the size of saucers.
Mulder looks at them and grins and says, “You’re lucky we’re not putting it to a vote.”
We go to a reaction shot of Scully. Her expression is priceless.