I’m feeling hopelessly nostalgic lately and I was wondering about first love experiences. Isabelle’s soulmate topic got me thinking too.
Here’s the basic questions:
Age: Me, 23. Him, 23. Where: Our place of employment How did you know it was love: He got me, I got him. We made each other happy. Listened to each other, shared, and had our own language. No one has made me laugh as hard as he did. I hate the saying “you complete me” because co-dependence ain’t good people! But with him, I was whole. Results: We quit our jobs then I screwed everything up. Now, I’ve completely lost touch with him. Lesson(s) learned: It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. Being in love means it’s okay to say “I’m sorry.” Song that describes the experience: “Thank You”
Sorry for this slight hijack (I must be the hijack king here. due to being clinically-bored) but I would like to talk about first crush
The first person I ever remember having feelings for was a girl called April. I think I must have been 9 (she was around 9 too, as she was in the same year as me at school) She joined the school late, and I noticed her instantly. At the time I was so ridiculously shy that I couldn’t even think nice thoughts about her without feeling deeply embarrassed. So to deal with this mentally I developed this idea that she was my arch-enemy. (don’t ask my why)
That me-against-her scenario dominated my thoughts for years
Age: Me, 17. Her, 17. How did you know it was love: We started out as friends. As we got closer emotionally, the physical tension became hard to deal with. She was originally dating one of my best friends and when they broke up our passion virtually exploded. It could have just been a really, really strong case of lust, but there was an undescribable tingling (besides the obvious one) in the pit of my stomach everytime she was near. Results: Burned too brightly from the beginning and burned out quickly. Lesson(s) learned: Girls don’t like whiners or jealousy. There is a such thing as too much sex and friction burn is usually a good indication you’re approaching that distinction. Sometimes emotions are too strong to control and all you can do is hold on for the ride, but it pays to be prepared to not like where the ride goes just in case… Song that describes the experience: Too many to list. Everything from “Brown Eyed Girl” to “Unsuccessfully Coping With the Natural Beauty of Infidelity.”
Age: We got together when we both had just turned 18.
Where: The local pub. (We were friends first for a few years. For reasons I won’t go into I wouldn’t date him, even though we’d liked each other for months. Eventually when we were in the pub I agreed.)
How did you know it was love: I don’t know. I just knew within a few weeks after we started dating. I didn’t tell him until he told me though. (After 3 weeks)
Results: We’re still together after 4 months and are still very much in love.
Lesson(s) learned: It IS actually possible for me to be happy.
Age: Me - 16. Her - 15.
Where: school
How did you know it was love: Just a feeling I had, a feeling that I had never had before that time. We spent much time together, and hours on the phone. I felt very relaxed, never had to worry if there were silences in our conversations.
Results: We split apart eventually, although we stayed close friends through high school, college, and beyond. I actually introduced her to a good friend of mine while we were in high school; she married him, and they’ve been together for about 15 years now. They are close friends with my wife and me, our kids go to the same school.
Lesson(s) learned: I learned what being in love was like. I didn’t experience true feelings like those until I met and dated my wife.
Song that describes the experience: No particular song, but “Yesterday” - by the Beatles - still reminds me of her, since that is what I listened to over and over when we broke up.
Where: We were neighbors. He was staying with his sister for the summer (sister lived across the street)
How did you know it was love: We spent every minute togeter it seemed and the thought of being without him was unbearable!
Results: He had to go back to school in a city about 45 minutes from where I lived. We kept up a long distance type of thing for the next 5 or 6 months. He had been spending weekends at my house and eventually stopped calling and would not return my phone calls! I was devestated and heartbroken.
Lesson(s) learned: When a relationship starts to fizzle out it’s better to just let it go than to hang on in desperation. Also 17 is too young to think about marriage, kids, etc.
Song: Probably “Against all Odds” by Phil Collins. This was 1984.
Age: Me, 17. Her, 15. Where: High School How did you know it was love: My first date, my first kiss, what else could it be? We had tons in common, enjoyed every minute with each other, and I couldn’t stop thinking about her. Results: I left for college soon after. Tried to make the long-distance thing work. Relationship lasted 8 calendar months, but only 8 weeks of that was actually physically near each other. Lesson(s) learned: A ton. Few people have impacted my life more. I saw everything in a new way; the world had new possibilities. I also learned how to look at myself: my actions, motivations, areas to improve upon. The only thing I never learned was why she broke up with me. Song that describes the experience:Romeo and Juliet by Dire Straits.
Me: 15, Him: 15, he was one of my best friends, and in fact dated one of my best girlfriends for about a year.
One day he asked me to go with him to his sisters wedding, he wasn’t dating anyone and needed a date.
He picked me up on his motorcycle. At some point during the festivities, we just looked at each other and “BLAM”!!!
We went steady for about a year, a year and a half after that (an eternity in HS), and lost our virginty to each other about 6 months into dating, after we’d both turned 16.
Very neat and fun guy. I remember, his dad was a cop, and they’d named their little pet poodle “perp”. His personality was very much like that in many ways, funny, fun to be with quirky.
Still the “high water mark” by which I guage whether men I date are “right for me”.
How did you know it was love? I only ever saw “Bob” at our karate club since we went to different high schools. This meant all I knew about him was that he was a fun guy and looked awesome in a uniform. We flirted, paired up and beat each other senseless two or three times a week, but that was the extent of things because I was dating another guy. One day we went to a tournament. I finally got to see him in his street clothes and was shocked I tell you, shocked, to see him in a pair of JNCOs. Ewwwwwwwwwwww. Even more shocking, he still looked good. I get to talking with his mom and his brother and find out the most shocking tidbit of the day—he was 2.5 years younger than me. Eeep. I decided to stop my crush at that point, since I was creeping out even myself. But it didn’t work. I was already in far too deep. So, I guess that’s when I realized I loved him, when 2.5 years difference in age (Sophomore me, Freshman him) and really bad taste in clothes still couldn’t turn me off.
Results: We ended up dating for three years. We lost our virginity to each other, but I waited until he was 16 so I wouldn’t be “taking advantage” of him or anything. His family loved me, my family could have done without him, but everyone was cool with the age difference. When I went to college we kept it going for almost a year and a half, but it got to the point where it was obvious to me that we were in seriously different points in our lives. Also, he stopped attempting to keep the flame alive. Little things, like never visiting and buying me a comic book for my birthday/Valentine’s day. (Yes ladies, he combined them.) I was miserable for a while, but I was also in denial. Once I broke things off, as a “trial separation,” I realized how much happier I was. It was nice while it lasted, but I’m very glad it’s over.
Lessons learned: Being alone is not the worst thing in the world. Love does not need to last forever to be real and important.
Songs that describe the experience: Pre-dating: Uninvited by Alanis Morisette.
During dating: Stand by me, BB King
Late dating and breakup: What’s in it for me? Faith Hill
Post-dating nostalga: Goodbye to you, Michelle Branch
Where: We met online in a Chat Room, and would constantly talk on messenger and play games and such together.
How did you know it was love: After about a year of talking to each other a misunderstanding one night made us tell each other what we really felt for each other. I knew I loved him when he told me and I wanted to say it back. Plus the usuals, everything in common, except location
Results: It all fizzled out in early April of this year, we never got to meet in the real world, the staying apart just got too much in the end. Which was silly because I was booked on flights out for late May.
Lessons Learned: There were many, both good and bad.
Songs that descibe the experience: Everything~ Lifehouse, Blurry~Puddle of Mudd, Wherever you will Go~ The Calling.
End Result: I have a new best friend, and hopefully one day we will meet still, even if we are just friends:) Little Bird, I listened to that song ALOT after the split too
Age: Me, 16. Him, 17.
Where: Highschool/hometown
How did you know it was love: We were friends for years and grew closer and closer until we became more than friends. We had similar intrests, senses of humor, and we really understood eachother.
Results: Over 6 years later (including the long distance thing during 2 years of college)…living together happily!
Lesson(s) learned: When everyone tells you that first loves aren’t meant to last…don’t listen! Sometimes they work!
Song that describes the experience: too many to name!
Where: The Half Moon Pub in Athens, Georgia. I was out with a friend, and he introduced us.
How did you know it was love: Not sure. We met that night, went to her place and talktalktalked until the sun came up. She had to go to work that morning, so I drove her, and when I dropped her off she said, “You know, I’m in love with you. Really, really in love with you.” It hit me then that I felt the same way; I wanted to be with her and keep talking forever. I didn’t say so at the time, but did the next day.
Results: We spent every possible moment together for about a month, and then I got over it and realized she was a vain, shallow woman with a gift for saying the right thing whether she meant it or not.
Lesson(s) learned: None, thank heaven.
Song that describes the experience: Well, this doesn’t describe it at all, but Led Zeppelin’s “Kashmir” was the accompaniment to a few extraordinarily intimate moments. Ahem.
How did you know it was love: It was the first time I ever not only had fantastic sex, but all-night fascinating conversations. Well, that, and the torrid emotion involved. If I can have all three of those, it’s love… something I’ve learned since then.
Results: Relationship disintegrated when I walked in on her and the guy she was cheating on me with.
Lesson(s) learned: “love” does not equal “trustworthy.” It took me a long time to learn trust again.
Song that describes the experience: Any number of godawful old “yore cheatin’ heart” C&W ballads.
** Where: ** He was a customer at the coffe shop I worked in.
** How did you know it was love: ** The butterflies in my stomach, I would blush every time he looked at me. It was love at first sight for me. And the kisses, that old song It’s in his kiss says it all.
** Results: ** He broke up with me several months later when he came to my house and found that my sister had invited a former boyfriend of mine over.
** Lesson(s) learned: **
1- Younger sisters should be tied up and hidden in a closet until they learn to mind their own business.
2- Loving someone can be one of the most beautiful and yet most painful things in the world.
3- Though you will love again you never forget the first person to awaken that part of you.
She was my boss and she was married. Her husband was a hotty too. We spent lots of time together, then got drunk one night and got together in the company of her husband. He was very open minded, and wanted his wife to be happy. She had no plans for leaving him, but it didn’t stop us from sleeping together a couple of times. I decided that the ‘threesome’ thing was not for me because it was her I wanted and her alone. (I never had sex with him) Then I started acting like a fool. She was the first woman I had ever been with, having come out of a marriage 2 years earlier, and she was all I thought about, to the point of becoming obsessive… which of course scared her.
She was my first same sex love and I still think of her now.
Lessons learnt: None! She will always be beautiful to me.
Results: I had to move to another state because it was driving me insane. We kept in touch, and I’m sure she was glad I left. Even though I know the relationship brought out feelings she was unsure about. (it was her first same sex relationship too)
When I returned a year later she had moved away and I’ve never seen her since. That was 8 years ago… and If I ever saw her again I’m afraid of what feelings it would bring as I’m in a committed loving relationship.
She will always be the one that will stay in my heart forever, and it’s probably best that I never see her again.
P.S I found out a few years ago that she left her husband…? Very interesting. I’ve fought the urge over the years since I heard that not to try and contact her… I guess she will have to stay in my dreams… beautiful sexy dreams forever…
