It’s getting to be that time of year for many of us. For some this can be very stressful which made me think if we shared what works for us, we might be the better for it.
IMHO its a bad idea to give a surprise Christmas gift to a new colleague or acquaintance-- all too often it truly is a surprise and the colleague feels bad for not having done the same. The fewer persons I am obligated to gift, the better.
Among family, I feel something small but thoughtful that shows that I really know the person and what they like is best.
Some other gift giving philosophies I’ve heard: A gift should be something the person most likely would not buy for himself but really wants; A cash gift must be used to purchase something special, not to pay down debt or bills; A gift should be something practical that the person would already buy for himself, thereby saving that person some money; Gift certificates are the best gift.
I do believe that Gift Certificates are the best gift–for the giver. For the receiver, the shopping portion of the transaction gets transferred to the receiver. Many guys do not like this. Also, late December early January store merchandise selection can be atrocious. Fianlly, the nature of a gift certificate requires it to be denominated in dollars–rather like leaving the price tags on the gift.
But I digress: what are your gift giving philosophies?
I think a gift is better when it is tailored to the individual but is something that they probably wouldn’t buy themselves. Gift certificates are boring to me and don’t show much thought. They can be practical, but so are socks and underwear.
I’m planning to get my golfing buddies some of these golf tees . They’re fairly cheap and are something you can’t get in stores yet.
Gifts should be fun, cool, interesting, or unusual. Finally, ebay is your friend.
Gift certificates are problematic in that the receipient knows exactly what you paid for them. However, I’ve been stumped occasionally and have resorted to them.
My policy is family only. Now this year, I’m giving mostly baked goods, and I’ll bake a lot and share with my friends. But I will not shop or lay out cash for presents for non-relatives. A line has to be drawn somewhere, and that’s where I draw mine.
I will not give away money or gift certificates. I especially hate gift certificates. To me it implies you just don’t care enough to put thought into a gift.
pepperlandgirl, I don’t think it is quite that black and white: here are some situations where i tihnk gift certificates can be appropriate:
Children, some children at least, often get things but never gets to choose: being told they can have anything in the store that is under $15 can be a thrilling event.
They can be a way to give an experience rather than a thing, to someone–a trip to a spa, or a massage, or dinner somewhere exotic, or a movie.
Gift certificates make the most sense when the person giving the gift has a lot more disposable income than the recipient: grandparents to grandchildren, or old family friend to college student: “I know you don’t often have the chance to spend money on yourself, and I want to give you that opportunity”. They also make a lot of sense when going from one very poor person to another poor person: “I know neither of us gets to eat out very often, and when it comes to eating out, I’d rather you have that fun than me”. They do not make a lot of sense when both the giver and the recipient have decent disposable incomes–at that point it’s like “Look, if I wanted to spend $30 bucks at Chili’s, I’d do it.”
That said, the ritual of gift giving is not natural to me: we didn’t really do it in my household growing up–my parents are generous to a fault, but never tied gifts to particular dates. So when it comes to gift giving I feel like I am feeling out a forign launguage. I have a question: when you do little gifts for people at the office, do you take into account the religion of those people? My gut feeling is not to worry about it–the “holiday season” is a totally secular institution. But this year is the first time that I am in the sort of profesional enviroment where it is a good idea to give little token gifts to people (which I plan to do–the important thing is that it means something to them, even if it means little to me). So when it comes to giving little token holiday gifts, do others worry if some of the people in your office are Pagan/Islamic/Jewish? This is all a forign language to me.
In my family, we stick to immediate family and S.O.'s, or, say, add the grandparents if they’ll be in town when gifts are exchanged. We generally don’t believe in giving extravagant gifts; rare is the gift worth over $40 or so, except the ones for very special occasions (graduations and such) from the grandparents (who are retired antique dealers, lucky me! but who are starting to do the creepy, let’s give away our stuff while we’re still alive thing). Once my sister and I went in on a leather jacket for Mom’s birthday (on super-duper end-of-season clearance, so very cheap, but very nice!); she’d wanted one for years, but never felt justified in spending the money on herself for something like that, even if it’s rather practical and will last forever. Mom cried for hours, she loved it so much!
I believe in giving gifts which are either practical or beautiful (but maybe somewhat nicer than what the recipient would get for him/herself), or which will make the receiver feel warm and fuzzy, either literally or figuratively. Gift certificates are so impersonal!
Simple. We buy gifts for the kids, cards for the adults. Since the parents know what the kids want, it’s no big deal if the gift-buying is pre-arranged along economically-stratified lines.
For me with how little money I have to spend I try to get personalized gifts, stuff I know they will like. Unfortunately that is hard as I don’t know what to get most people. Grandpa was easy… get him a pile of crossword puzzles and a gift certificate to a book store… Grandma I never know so I try to get her stuff but it’s hard. Last year was easy though… her coffee maker (about 30 some years old) went kaput so I bought her a new one. Cousins (the ones I see on the holidays… ) get gift certificates… to comic book stores or disney store, for the older and younger respectively. My brother something funky for his new car (this year) or a music store gift certificate… etc etc you get the idea.
I don’t really like giving gift certificates but generally I just don’t know what to get them. I try my best when I can though, and sometimes I see stuff I know they will like so I buy that (if it’s in the budget of course)
Personally I don’t mind getting gift certificates either… I know they are thinking of me and it’s usually better just because I can choose something I know I will like whereas if someone just gives me something I may not like it as much, may not wear it (ie clothing that is not my style/something that I’d wear often) or even may not want or need or even have the space for. I’d even just be happy with cards for the most part and get to spend my holidays with them. That’s the best present… having family around.
For family, any occasion actually, I wait til the absolute last minute and see what they haven’t bought themselves off of their list. We all have a nasty habit of listing out what we want … but because we really want it, we buy it for ourselves. I’ve spent too much time returning stuff prior to when I want to give the gift.
Any gift I give, I don’t have an amount limit. If I see something that reminds me of someone, I buy it for them. If I see something someone I know might like, I buy it for them. Course, I am also prone to buying gag gifts. Ah yes, and great care is put into the wrapping of the gift. It’s gotta look nice.
I only give gifts every few years. My philosophy is that I’d rather give nice gifts to a few people each year, rather than spend a bunch of money to buy a bunch of cheap crap no one wants each year. I never feel obligated to give anyone more than a card, or even an Ecard for Christmas.
Last year, I burned my dad a CD wallet full of discs, and made my mom a polar fleece quilt. I bought a copy of The Not So Big House for my brother and SIL. The year before that I bought a few English riding accessories for a friend who was planning on beginning to show English horses. They still remember these gifts more than they would three scented candles over three years.
with my group of friends this year we are thinking of forgoing the kris kringle and all that money we are gonna spend collectively on kk we will give to charity instead and then get together for dinner or brunch. There is an evite poll for this now, im not sure what the decision is yet, but im sure the charity & dinner thing will win. so the gift giving philosopy is not too.
Views on gift certificates: I love getting gift certificates from my favorite stores (esp. Bath and Body Works). With 3 kids, it’s very rare for me to spend money extravagantly on myself, but when the kids give me a B and B gift card, it’s like them saying “here, Mom, go to the mall, smell all the great new fragrances, and pick out some stuff you really love”. Yes! As for giving them, it’s usually what the in-laws end up with, cuz they are IMPOSSIBLE to buy for. However, I try to package them in such a way that they know some thought went into it. Like, for my FIL, a really good chocolate bar (he loves chocolate, but won’t buy the good stuff for himself) with the certificate wrapped around it.
I enjoy giving people presents. I stick to my family and a few good friends, just like I do when buying birthday presents. I can’t afford anything really extravagant, so I stick to small things that I think people will enjoy. I avoid giving books, movies or CDs unless I’m positive the recipient will appreciate it, because I’ve worked retail and positively hate the floods of people who show up saying “I got this for Christmas and I don’t like it.”
I’m not in a position to give gift certificates, since my family has more money than I do and I wouldn’t dream of just having a GC over to a friend unless it was for something really special. I enjoy getting them, particularly to bookstores. We’re doing Secret Santa at work, and my person’s going to get a GC simply because it’ll be easier than shopping for someone I don’t know very well.
We’ve quit exchanging among the sibs, so I buy for my daughter, niece and nephew, mother, and inlaws. Steve and I aren’t exchanging this year - cash is a bit tight.
I try to get gifts that the recipient wouldn’t buy otherwise. The niece and nephew LOVE gift certificates - they love shopping, so that’s easy. Parental units are more difficult. Sibs would be impossible.
I used to get a lot of joy out of giving gifts. Now it’s just a chore.
