Around here, the worst issue is that the ones at the local U are kinda used to being thrown scraps of food, so they have no problems coming up to you, expecting you to feed them.
Short version: my four-year-old is smarter than I am and now I can’t have a new kitchen table.
Long version: when we moved into this house, we didn’t have a lot of money, so we bought crap Ikea furniture and figured we’d replace it along the way. So we have a crap flatpack kitchen/dining table. Over the last few months I’ve spent aaaages looking for a nice antique farmhouse table that ticks every single box and will fit perfectly in the kitchen. YAYYY!!! Found The One!!! Only I left it too late and someone else bought it.
Me, at computer: Dammit. I wanted that table and now someone else bought it.
Four-year-old, patting: It’s OK, Mama. You can do without it.
Me: True. I’ll be disappointed and annoyed at myself for a few minutes and then get over it.
Four-year-old, inspecting screen: Also, maybe you couldn’t get it into the kitchen.
Me: No, I measured like ten times and it would’ve fit perfectly -
Four-year-old: No, I mean maybe you couldn’t get it into the kitchen.
Long silence while it dawns on me that, while I measured the actual kitchen space to within an inch of its life, I never once measured the narrow bit of corridor that is the only way to get anything into our kitchen. Because all our furniture was flatpack, so it was never an issue.
Turns out the corridor is like 68 centimetres wide. And from now on all major household decisions will be made by the four-year-old.
How did they get the appliances in?
I just measured and all our appliances are 60cm wide. That’s standard size here, as far as I know. Are they bigger in the US?
I just posted jokey little quip on Twitter, which I’m wont to do, and I immediately got a notification. I checked it and it seems I was retweeted by a user named BuyFollowers. You can buy followers on Twitter? I had no idea that was a thing. I am so naive. And for the love of all that is holy will you for once and for all get the fuck off my lawn!
Happens on the local campus here, too. I was waiting for a bus there once, and a squirrel hopped up right next to me and started looking through a bag I had with me.
I visited my bro at university years ago. It was winter, and freezing cold, but they had the window open the whole time. 
Turned out it was for the squirrel, who used to come sit on the radiator. If you didn’t let it in, it’d sit on the outside of the window staring pitifully into the room for ages, occasionally scrabbling at the latch.
I swear their campus squirrels were smarter than many of the students.
Anyway. Minirant.
I’m starting to move house today; it’s several hours away, and I have to be there at a specific time to sign stuff and collect the keys, which means getting up fairly early. Went to bed at a sensible time to get a good night’s sleep, and the whole neighbourhood apparently decided that nope, no sleep for me!
My housemate had her boyfriend over for noisy drunk fun times, an inordinate number of loud shouty people were on the street (on Tuesday night?) then some sodding mosquito decided that the inside of my ear was the most fascinating place in the world at 1am, 2am and 2;30am (same mozzie, I eventually managed to squish it).
I’m sleepy, grumpy, and I have to spend the day driving, plus carrying stuff up to a 3rd floor flat. Yay.
The sidewalks on the hospital’s carriageway are there for you people to walk on them, they’re not just decoration.
“I will have a child of five review my schemes. Any problems he can see, will be fixed immediately.” Evil Overlord List (To keep the evil overlord from losing for once.)
Also, check with a furniture store. Many tables come with removable legs. Mine did, or we never would have gotten it through the front door.
I can probably guess what’s causing it, but lately everybody online seems to be really annoying and punchy. There’s an air of aggression and venal meanness whenever I try to be funny, or even just bland in my posts*.
It sucks. And it makes me sad.
*Not on the SDMB, but in other places.
I pay my AT&T bill online. Today the connection was so fucking slow that I wrote out the check while it was still “connecting.” How can AT&T still be in business with tortoise speeds?
a standard stove in the US is 76.2 cm.
Et tu, Malwarebytes? Then fall, something…
This morning I saw a notification on my Android phone indicating Malwarebytes had detected an issue. Oh shit, my son was looking up something on my phone last night. Better check it quick!
Turns out the “non-critical issue” is I haven’t paid to upgrade to premium. Fuckity fuck, now Malwarebytes, previously one of the good guys, is pushing out nag screens (I had to dismiss 4 of them before I could go back to my home screen) as part of their package. :mad: If I wanted that shit, I would have installed Norton or McAfee 
Now who do I use???
He’s upset that his wife has not been paroled yet.
She was fucking two prisoners and helped them escape. One of the things the prisoners planned to do was to kill Lyle Mitchell. That was her idea.
The only reason he should be pushing for her release is because he can’t kill her while she’s locked up.
I’m into forgiveness and all, but she is where she needs to be, and that is best for everyone.
I totally failed the Evil Overlord test. :smack:
The thing is that I really want an antique one - one of those oak farmhouse tables with a drawer or two and a lovely warm patina. I haven’t seen any with removable legs. A couple have had removable tops, though, so that might make a difference…
I bought the four-year-old a godawful thing called a Num Nom as a thank-you for keeping me from wasting ridiculous amounts of time and money on a non-viable table, so as far as she’s concerned the whole thing was a massive success.
One of the problems with the job I’m currently trying to escape from is the sheer stupidity of how we work, and today two things happened that make me want to rant. I’m on a team that “maintains” a set of data processing documentation that is made available to our external customers. (I put “maintains” in quotes because it’s a Steaming Pile of Horse Shit (SPHS) in terms of quality and management won’t let us fix it. See my other past rants for details; I won’t go into that here.) We also support those customers when they have questions about the SPHS, which is several times a day. Our industry is a complex one, so often the scenarios they give us are very hairy, and occasionally make us wonder who would do that, but they do so we have to analyze it anyway and answer the question.
In addition to not being allowed to improve our quality, we’re not given any tools for analyzing the customer’s data to see if it’s being processed as per the SPHS. We have to do that in our heads. So it goes like this: customer emails question and includes some specific details so we can try to process the data and see if we come up with the same results or different results and figure out why. Using those details we dump some data into Excel, massage it to eliminate extraneous information, and then manually “process” the data according to the SPHS. By “manually” I mean we have to do it in our head. We have no software tools that process the data as per SPHS.
Let me repeat that: we don’t have ANY software programs that process data, so we have to do it mentally.
Today I learned quite by the grapevine that some of our engineers are working on a “calculator” tool that DOES process the data and spits out results. I brought it to the attention of my team because we sure could use something like that! First rant: our manager pipes up and says she knew about this tool being developed and didn’t think to mention it to us. What the actual fuck!
I kept my temper under control and replied that I’m not sure she’s fully aware of how we research the customer’s questions, and briefly described what I said above. She said she knew all that. :mad: Bitch.
My second rant was that as I described how we mentally process the data and how it’s so fucking hard to do with the complexity of the data, everybody kind of brushed me off and I realized that I was sounding like “my job’s so haaaaaarrrrrd”. :mad: It’s not that I can’t handle hard work. It’s that practically everything we do here is “working harder, not smarter” and that pisses me off.
I ordered some office supplies over the weekend because I couldn’t find exactly what I needed in local stores. The supplier seemed slow in processing the order but I got an email yesterday saying it had all been shipped by normal postal service. They had promised a tracking # but no tracking # was provided. I was pretty much resigned to not getting it until sometime later next week.
And as I was going out this afternoon, lo and behold a fluttering notice affixed to my front door. It had not been shipped through the post office, it had been shipped via courier and arrived overnight. Sorry we missed you, the notice said. No, you didn’t miss me, you stupid lazy incompetent fucks, I was right here. I know exactly where I was at the time indicated on the notice: I was right here in front of the computer having a cup of coffee.
If the incompetent fucks who sent the package had bothered to give me the tracking number or some hint of how the package was being sent, I would have been expecting it and keeping an eye out for it. And if the equally incompetent lazy fuck who delivered it had bothered to ring the fucking doorbell, I wouldn’t have to drive out to some pickup depot somewhere tomorrow to get the damn package. I still don’t even know where, since the magic location will not be revealed to me until some stupid fuck scans the parcel at wherever the fuck the thing will be dropped off for pickup.
I despise incompetence with the passionate heat of a thousand suns.
So, write something on FB on some lawyers page about the Confederate monument thing, a five point list of thoughts. Did this 2, 3 days ago, also posted same in “Hate not Heritage” thread here. It was as a response to something he posted.
Just 10 minutes ago, the same lawyer posts three points from my list, vetbatim, as his own. No attribution.
Don’t know whether to be irritated or accepting, so I decided to see what y’all think.
Oh, uh… fucknugget! There’s my rant. 
A certain medical organization in my area just held an event to benefit its heart fund at a fitness center run by the organization.
It was a Waffle Breakfast, duly attended by morbidly obese staffers loading up their plates.
This is almost (but not quite) as good as the time the same organization promoted the opening of its Bariatric Surgery unit by announcing (over the PA system) an open house at which cookies and cake would be served.
"To fight your online addiction, register at www.IronyIsLostOnUs.org and… "