Your lamest sci-fi / horror monsters

You want lame?

The Prehistoric Sound AKA Sound of Horror

So lame that they didn’t have to come up with an actual monster for most of the movie. You’re simply treated to the lamest “invisible” effects possible – They “animate” the creature walking through powder meant to show its footprints by suddenly having each new footprint appear. They throw axes at it, which stick, and they show the invisible monster walking away with the axes in it by putting the axes on a transparency and slowly moving it over a picture.

At least The Creeping Terror and Attack of the Giant Leeches actually came up with monster suits.

Well, there IS a shot at the end, of a guy in a monster suit clinging to the roof of their jeep. Considering that the Beast is supposed to be some sort of dinosaur, it’s a real let down.

My goodenss! Thank-you! How did I miss that?

Always liked these (two!) panning shots of the little Nosferatu thingy in It’s Alive

I always thought mummies were pretty lame. They’re just a bunch of dirty old bandages.

Someone has already mentioned The Green Slime (which was the inspiration of the board game The Awful Green Things From Outer Space) so I will nominate this newcomer: Rubber. A mean car tire.

Stanley Adams as a talking carrot in the Lost in Space episode “The Great Vegetable Rebellion.”

Obviously some Japanese monster movie. Imdb lists Frankenstein vs Baragon as a connection but that’s not Baragon.

That one was immortalized by Frank Zappa in “Cheepnis”

Killers from Space (1954) – Truly terrifying

The Giant Claw (1957) – Truly godawful

The Manster (1959) – I think this may be the original two-headed person movie.

Creature from the Haunted Sea (1961) – Words fail….

Horror of Party Beach (1964) – Words give up.

Curse of the Swamp Creature (1966) – I wonder if those ping-pong ball eyes were leftover from Killers from Space and repainted?

Food of the Gods (1976) – Marjoe Gortner’s thrilling battle with the giant chicken evokes The Giant Claw.

The Incredible Melting Man (1977) – The Existentialist classic.

[spoiler]https://midnitereviews.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/The-Incredible-Melting-Man-1977-2.jpg[/spoiler] - NOTE: This image is a bit gruesome.

Ultraman TV show monsters

https://www.google.com/search?q=Ultraman+monsters&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwj0qfWjxfzuAhWsFzQIHbbSDJ0Q2-cCegQIABAA&oq=Ultraman+monsters&gs_lcp=CgNpbWcQAzICCAAyAggAMgIIADICCAAyAggAMgIIADICCAAyAggAMgIIADICCAA6BAgAEEM6CAgAELEDEIMBOgUIABCxAzoKCAAQsQMQgwEQQzoHCAAQsQMQQ1CYlgJYgrsCYK68AmgAcAB4AIABbYgB2AySAQQxNC4zmAEAoAEBqgELZ3dzLXdpei1pbWewAQDAAQE&sclient=img&ei=wyMzYLS8PKyv0PEPtqWz6Ak&bih=838&biw=1600&hl=en

Did you ever see, “Tales From the Darkside: The Movie”? There’s a mummy story involving Christian Slater and an electric carving knife, that, at least, gets points for originality.

Wow, Dropo - the photo of the part Homer/Grimace approvingly looking on at the kissing couple has restored my faith in humanity. Special.
To augment your FOG contributuon, here’s pioneering '50s filmmaker of oppressed women Ida Lupino having to deal with those pesky mutant rats

Unable to find links anywhere for the giant sink-maggots that suddenly appeared out of the blue in front of an unconvincingly frightened Ida, who looked more dazed, or like, what the fuck am I doing in this piece of shit anyway?
Obvious-brag: I know someone whose stepdad was responsible for the animal effects for the film.


The Killer Shrews scared the crap out of me as a youngster. To this day, I have a fear of hyenas (which I mistook the killer shrews for), even knowing now they were just dogs in dentures. I am willing to concede that a cynical adult might find them laughable.

ETA: okay, that’s a pretty lame photo in the preview.

What about the original haunted tire, Rubber?

The Abominable Snowman in Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea set a new standard of tackiness for that series. The dude was just in a furry body suit that didn’t even have a butt crack! :confounded:

The “Alpha Centauri” alien in one of Jon Pertwee’s Doctor Who stories was pretty lame.

Alpha Centauri (the name of the alien is the same as its star system, which might be inconvenient in social situations)
…turned up again in New Who, played by the same actress after a gap of 43 years.

I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen “It Conquered The World”. But any time it is referenced, I immediately think of the intro to “Cheepnis”.

One of the Japanese Godzilla series featured

Sort of the cute Koala bear of Japanese giant monsters.

In reality, a juvenile gorilla-like thing 40+ feet tall would be pretty scary. In the context of the films he’s just a cute toddler. Awwww!

Yep. BUT… I’ve looked at the movie to watch the Inverted Ice Cream Cone with Teeth Around The Bottom come out of the cave, and I’ve never been able to spot any 2x4.
Anybody else ever tried this?

The Stuff (1985) – Alien vanilla yogurt!

Hey, if you are counting Doctor Who monsters, eye boogers. Eye. Boogers.