Another thread was asking if you’d want to do your teenage years over. I said I’d like to do the good parts over (and there were a lot!).
But, how would you rank your life so far?
I’d say 70% good, 30% bad. All things considered.
Anyone?
Teenage formative years: Ok at best. Teenage years generally suck anyway…not old enough to do much, but cognitively most of the way there.
20’s started slow. Very blurry. College, college, college, graduate, more college more college. Phd. Work rightway at my alma mater. So more college, college, college…still on that kick but I love it. Oh yeah, throw marriage in there amongst the college…
Life now at 34. 90% fantastic - once children arrive my wife and I will be complete. We’ve been lucky with work and play. 
I just can’t score or pigeonhole my life in that way. My brain doesn’t even work that way. It doesn’t make any sense. What, are you going to grade us?
Life is what we make of it, which will color our perceptions of good and bad.
There are days when I believe my entire life sucks and I can’t even think of a reason to get out of bed in the morning. (Then my dogs bug me to let them outside and poof! I have a reason.)
There are days when I believe my life will just not get any better than this. Ask me on another day and I will assuredly have a completely different answer.
In general, I’d say that what I’ve perceived as bad experiences have been educational, enlightening and have served to help form the person I am today. The good experiences have been educational, enlightening and not only have served to help form the person I am today, but also have served to motivate me and keep me going through the bad experiences.
Score that as you will.
I’m 34 years old. I put my quality of life at about 80%, so this is how things are looking so far:
Good:
[ul]
[li]Have well-paying job[/li][li]Earned my college degree[/li][li]Enjoy a good relationship with my family, everyone else in family gets along well with one another[/li][li]Non-drinker, non-snoker, never have touched any illegal substances[/li][li]I’m in good health[/li][li]Virtually clean criminal record[/li][li]Good driving record, just a few speeding tickets here and there, no major accidents[/li][li]Good credit rating in spite of current debts[/li][/ul]
Bad:
[ul]
[li]Still single, probably always will be[/li][li]Could have done even better in college and gotten an even better job[/li][li]Have more debts than I planned on incurring[/li][li]Went through twelve years of hell being amongst the most unpopular kids in school[/li][li]Have had one dating relationship turn into a complete disaster[/li][/ul]
Well, compared to whom?
Compared to Brooke Astor or Marlene Dietrich, my life sucks.
But compared to, say, a 15th century Chinese peasant or a slave in 19th-century Virginia? I’m sittin’ pretty.
Nevermind.
I’d have to go with 70% good, 20% iffy and 10% bad.
Oh. And another thing:
Would you change the “bad” part of your life, or do you feel it was important in forming the person you are today?
I think I’d keep most of the bad (especially the bad parts I brought on myself).
Before I got out of my parent’s house:
95% horrible 5% ok
After I moved in with my now husband:
95% wonderful 5% not so much…
Based on my own personal perception - not, as Eve states, when compared to anyone else - 65% bad, 30% ok, 5% good. But things are improving all the time .
If suffering though my childhood again was the only way I could end up with my husband and kids again then I would do it…
But that was a special kind of hell I would not wish on anyone.
Well, I tend to think of myself as being not so much old as I am high mileage. Sure, there are plenty of others who have been through more than I have, but it still feels like a long road to get to almost-40.
Would I change the bad stuff if I could? Well, the big bad stuff I would. I can’t see a downside to not watching my mom die slowly of cancer when I was in college, for instance. Would I skip my failed marriage? Yeah, I would. But I’d like to think that I have learned a few things from both the good and the bad. As has already been pointed out, all those experiences have shaped who I am.
When all is said and done, my life isn’t bad, but I won’t be sorry for it to end when the time comes.
Well, that’s sure as hell the $64,000 question with my life.
D’oh! Sometimes my generic questions turn out to be not-so-generic.
I like my life. I have a fun job, a couple of good buddies, a great wife, two nice kids who are growing up to be great people. Can I find something to bitch about? Oh yeah, but I imagine anyone can. I always try to tell my kids–especially the younger one–that 80% of everything is attitude. If you want to be miserable, it’s certainly in your power to do so, but it’s usually just as within your power to lighten up and stop whining.
Eve, you said it best: “…compared to, say, a 15th century Chinese peasant or a slave in 19th-century Virginia? I’m sittin’ pretty.”
As for changing the bad parts of my life–good question. One of the worst things that ever happened to me was when my best friend died. We were nineteen, and to this day I think of him often. I wish he could have been at my wedding, wish he could have met my kids, wish I could call him on the phone…
Would I change that? Mmmmm…probably yeah. There are a few other things that I might like to change, that I don’t feel had any positive effect on my life, but there are some other really negative things that, bad as they were at the time, I realize helped me in ways I couldn’t have predicted. Would I change them…tough call. On the whole, probably not.
Y’know, it took me about two years in therapy to figure this one out! I used to say, “Yeah, my childhood really sucked, but I’m not sorry I lived it, because it got me to where I am today”. Then, one day, I realized something: if I went to California, in an old beat-up car that kept breaking down, and over the bumpiest back roads imagineable, I wouldn’t say “Man, that trip sucked, but it’s okay, because it got me here”, instead I would say “Well, I’m glad I ended up here, but I sure do wish I’d flown”. IOW, just as there are many ways to get to California (some ways enjoyable, some not), there are many ways I could have turned out well, and not all of those ways had to involve the hell I endured as a young person. So, in direct response to the OP:
earliest memory thru age 15: 85% horrible, 15% okay (not good, but okay; we did have a house to live in, etc.)
16-22: 50% horrible, 30% okay and 20% good.
Okay, 22 was when I met the love of my life, and things do a sharp turn-around here. 23-27: 60% really good, 30% okay, 20% bad.
28-40: 80% really good, 20% okay, 10% bad
41 to 42 (that’s how old I am now): 70% really good, 20% bad, 10% okay.
So, what’s my grade?
Yes, because without the bad, I am sure I wouldn’t have gotten the good. For example, my three kids - who I love so much.
Boy did that come out wrong - what I meant to say was I would not change the bad because the good came after the bad, and I wouldn’t have the good if I didn’t have the bad.
that will teach me to do more than three things at the same time
Late Teens, early twenties were bad. Mid twenties (College for me, yes I was later) were great. Late twenties crappy so far. Battling getting laid off twice during the last 3 years, Going back to school, and a recent episode of extended illness. Older sister got committed and my grandmother suffered a stroke. I try to take it in strde and keep plugging away. Things will get better.
I’m pretty content. Always had good enough health, married well and my kid’s unimaginally entertaining. Immediate family is pretty normal and no tragedies to speak of. There’s been the usual difficulties to get through but I’ve always entertained a fairly positive attitude about that stuff.
95% good, 3% bad, 2% undecided.