I had major major major self esteem problems for much of my twenties and early thirties that made me keep most people, and especially men, at arms length, so I went many years without.
It’s been about 2 1/2 months. No time, plenty of opportunities. Just too many hours at work. Things will slow down in the early summer and maybe things will change then.
Sorry, I know not this Greg. I am merely yBeayf, the celibate toad.
396 months 15 days. From the time I was born.
5 months after my seperation from my wife, otherwise I think 3 is the longest.
For those that go for years, I’d be definitely curious as to why that is. I’ve seen some major freaks out there with dates, this info has led me to believe it’s all a matter of will.
Anyone that wants to go into more detail about it I’d love to hear what you have to say.
For me sex is a very high priority, though I never would sleep with just anybody, now I am a bit pickier than I used to be, because having to cultivate enough of a relationship to sleep with someone is so much work that I’m not willing to have sex with someone just because they are attractive, I have to want to talk to them.
So I agree that commonality, and more than just physical attraction are necessary, however I don’t think love is a pre-requisite, and I also believe that you can love more than one person in that way.
Erek
20 years and counting.
And no, it doesn’t bug me except on occasion, at which point I go to sleep or exercise(depending on what time it is) and then I forget either forget about it or I go back to “not really concerned”
Easy. My personal standreds dictate that I have to be in a committed relationship to have sex with someone. I have not yet been so committed (for various reasons).
Short answer=I’m too picky.
And as much as it would shock some, it doesn’t bother me except on occasion, and frankly, I have more important things to be upset/concerned about.
There. You can all laugh at me now.
HPL - you just said exactly what I was going to say. Thanks 
17 years as of December.
Reason: indifference, mostly. I had a brief bout of experimentation while traveling in Europe over the Christmas holidays in 1986, decided sex just wasn’t for me, and never really gave it another serious thought. Don’t miss it at all.
I have always retained the theoretical possibility of meeting someone hot enough or interesting enough to make me reconsider… but there just hasn’t been anyone in that category who wasn’t a fictional character.
well, I’m currently at approx 8 1/2 years and counting (i refuse to even try to be more precise than that)… and NOT enjoying the experience by any means. Most assuredly I AM “into sex”, however it seems that I have been blessed (cursed?) with a succession of girlfriends who either wanted to wait till they wee married or ended up not being around long enough to make any real intimacy happen (i’m generally not a “first date sex” kinda guy so the relationship really does have to last at least a little while before we get to that level…)
wolf189 (currently contemplating a roadtrip from Illinois over to Indy to visit Indygrrl and see if there’s a mutual solution to this mutual problem…)
4.5 years. And I’m married, and I miss sex a lot! But my wife has problems with that area, so I just stay away from it and try to get along.
That has been right now, 6 months and counting.
You know what the shittiest part of no-nookiedom is for me? It’s the continuing descending spiral of diminishing self-confidence and esteem. After about half a year of whining about it, I usually just give up–I’ve managed to convince myself that I’ll never play ball again, and it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. Sometimes I stop caring–sort of.
Then, when the gods smile on me and fix me up with the most wonderful woman in the world, suddenly I’m fucking Tony Orlando while Dawn is in the powder room. I’ve been hit on more times in the approximately five hours I’ve spent waiting for my girlfriend in restaurants and bars than I was in the eighteen months of no-lay time I spent before that. I have no interest in those other women–is that what they see, some sort of Tao of Steve thing? Heck if I know, but I know something’s going on.
So coming from someone who has felt your collective pain, here’s a piece of speculative advice for you:
Fake it. Lie. Bullshit your ass off. Paint lipstick on your fist at night and kiss it good morning the next day–well, maybe not that. Do whatever you have to do to make yourself feel as if you don’t have to worry about scoring. I am convinced that at least for me, a hetero male, confidence is one of the most important factors in attracting a mate.
Hell, maybe it’ll work. At the very least, if you make a concerted effort to feel better about yourself, you probably will feel better about yourself, and that’s got to be a step in the right direction.
I’m 36 and as far as romance is concerned, I’ve yet to manage so much as a kiss. I am not happy about the situation, but have learned to accept it. I’ve given up actively looking for a partner.
4 months. Damn I need to get laid. You wouldn’t think it would be that hard being a pretty girl in high school…
Hmm Ok it’s now over five years. Any women looking for a Jersey Doper? 
18 years, 4 months, 1 week… as long as I’ve been alive.
It will no doubt be another 18 years before I break this curse of celibacy.
about three and a half years…unhappily!
Well, I got married at 19, and I’ll be 31 tomorrow. I’ve had the opportunity to have sex pretty much whenever I want.
It’s coming up on about a year or so since the last time I did, however. SSRI antidepressants will do that to you. I just switched to Wellbutrin, though, so I’m hoping that sex won’t seem so repulsive soon.
*Originally posted by dusty_bin *
Why so long?
– don’t want sex
Are you ill or something?
– no, but I have no libido… or actually a negative libido, due to the medication I’ve been taking [for many years]
Sex is healthy, intimacy os good?
– yeah but it’s not appealing.
Find someone to love, or just shag!
– I have someone to love, and am approaching my 12th wedding anniversary. I just don’t want to have sex.
i’m in bloomington.
j/k