I have always liked to fantasize about starting a cover band for Prussian Blue with my friends and becoming world-famous. It would be the greatest thing ever. I’ve always thought their music has a fair amount of potential that is sadly crushed by being entirely produced by a pair of kids. Almost all my friends are either Chinese or Indian and to rattle off anti-Chinese sentiment with a straight face in interviews would be tremendously brilliant, and if anyone asks us what the fuck we are doing we’ll repeat the arguments they make about the Asian invasion and Mexicans swarming over the border (I live in Australia). It would be deliciously postmodern and put us in the history books forever.
Of course, there is so much obviously wrong with this plan I won’t ever bother to list the reasons why it wouldn’t work, but it’s one of my favourite fantasies. What’s yours?
My secret fantasy is to be a rock star. FlyingRamenMonster, I think your cover band idea is BRILLIANT and hilarious. If you and your friends have any musical ability whatsoever, you should go for it. I wish I could think of a clever cover band name for you (i.e. Lez Zeppelin for an all-lesbian cover band of Led Zeppelin) but alas, I cannot. Maybe someone else can.
After inventing something, I make several cubic buttloads of money (enough to make Bill Gates envious) then I personally restart America’s space program by funding a Mars trip and calling up all those little dreamers that have ideas like inflatable space stations. Then Lockheed/Martin builds the Venture Star to get my stuff in orbit and the Shuttle is finally allowed to rest.
Or something like that, sometimes there are dancing girls.
See, that sounds like way too much work. Having to keep track of the petty politics of 200 or so countries on earth, plus whoever’s out there in the rest of the universe - the paperwork alone would keep you from all your kinky fun. Plus there’s all those rebellions to crush. Nah.
That I get to be so rich that I’m able to buy my own private tropical island to live on, that I can populate with friends and loved ones who I can then evict once they start to annoy me. I’ve obviously got a whole Marlon Brandon/Mini-Evil-Overlord thing going on.
But I’ll still be able to swim in tropical seas and go diving every day, plus jet off elsewhere temporarily if I get bored, which is unlikely. I’ll also be rich enough to attract hotties of each gender to oil themselves up and fan me gently with ostrich feathers, so I don’t get too overheated in the tropical sun.
The island will also feature a huge technological ‘play bunker’, that I can fit with all the latest toys and gadgets to play with, plus have a large movie viewing room fitted with wall-to-wall cashmere cushioning and more barely-clad hotties. And a pool. With fountains. And I will have my own monkeys! AND AN ELEPHANT!
Time travel. I’d love to see what my town looked like 50 years ago, 100, 200. Many many MANY concerts over the years, world events, What did Greece look like? Rome? I wouldn’t even go forward in time, just back.
I want to get the transporter-erector-launcher from an SS-27 ICBM, take the missile canister off the top, and paint the whole thing hot rod gloss black, with big-ass flames on the front. Then I want to retrofit the missile-storage area on top with a 20m-long hot tub and a poolside tiki bar. The roof rack would have a self-aligning DISH network antenna (alongside the stock military comms antennae). The passenger compartment would be tricked out with soft leather seats and large screen TVs. I’d replace the vehicle’s horn with something louder, and install directional stereo speakers. Then I’d cruise around the interstates looking for Hummers and Escalades being obnoxious: cutting people off, blasting loud music, showing filthy movies… I’d give them a taste of their own medicine and forever redefine “large obnoxious ride” in their tiny minds.
What to do with the live nuclear weapon? Hm. Load the missile into my lawn vertically, install a silo cover, and use it as a BBQ pad.
Oh, the usual: having my own private tropical island, greater wealth than Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, and Sam Walton’s heirs combined, the ability to make women desire me and be willing to do my kinky bidding with the wink of an eye, the ability to make them cease desiring me when I’m done with them with the snap of a finger, and good friends to hang out with in between all the sex.
IOW, pretty much what any heterosexual guy would want.
I’d want to be the person who lights the torch to start the Olympic Games. A mild fantasy, but if I could have anything I wanted for myself that would be it.
That’s what Underlings, Lackeys, and Minions are for. Do you think Blofeld or Darth Vader spend their time filling in forms? NO! They command others to do their bidding, and an underling takes care of it for them.
Sure, I may to shoot or telekinetically strangle the odd malcontent pour l’encouragement des l’autres, but otherwise I think being the Supreme Overlord Of The Universe would be awesome- especially with the groupies. Chicks dig Supreme Overlords.
I want to own a time-viewer: a gadget that will let me see (and hear) any place on Earth, any time since the planet’s forming. Since I won’t actually be there, there’s no danger of creating a paradox or of getting killed in the past.
(Note that this is also the perfect espionage device, since it lets you be a fly on the wall in any conference room!)
And I’d like immortality with eternal youth to give me time to enjoy my toy as it deserves. And an inflation-adjusted annual income of $500,000 in 2000 dollars so I’ll never have to worry about mundanities like work.
Isn’t there a scientific theory which states that simply observing something can still cause a change of some kind, even without any other input on the observer’s part?
