Your Most Embarrassing Moment/Experience

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
61

It’s not my most embarrassing moment by a long shot, but it’s one I haven’t shared before on the board.

For our college graduation present, my father took my twin sister and I (and our mother) to NYC. Like typical tourists, we decided to wake up crazy early and go stand in front of Rockerfeller Center so we could be on the Today Show. They were doing their summer concert series thing and Donna Summer just happened to be the performer, which made going there even more of a big deal. My father was very vocal about his wanting to see her. No, he’s not gay.

We got there around 7:30 am and there was already a crowd. We didn’t grab breakfast beforehand and as people started pressing in all around us, we realized we didn’t have the option of leaving without losing our spots. Occassionally the camera would sweep past us so we could cheer like happy, clueless tourists, but those moments were few and far between. For three hours we stood in the hot humidity, waiting for Donna Summer. It seemed like she would never come.

Meanwhile, I wasn’t feeling so good. I couldn’t pinpoint what was wrong, but I just didn’t feel right. But I stayed silent about it, not wanting to be a downer.

All of a sudden, right when they announced Donna Summer was about to come out, I realized I wanted to die. I couldn’t hear anything but my heart beating in my ears and my vision was all fuzzy. I didn’t know if I wanted to vomit, crap, or do both. I could hear my sister saying something about me not looking good (Your lips are WHITE!) and her telling my parents that I needed urgent help. The three of them half-carried me through the crowd (I remember people looking at me with pity). Then my father pleaded with a security guard to let us the building. As we went in, I saw the NBC logo on the door and thought, “Oh, crap! I must be really sick for them to let us inside!” We were ushered to the restroom by a couple of nice employees. I could tell they were doing something they didn’t normally do.

Once in the restroom I rushed to the toliet, thinking I needed to vomit really bad. But suddenly I didn’t feel sick anymore. With my mother standing on the other side of the door, I tinkled and let out a big but otherwise normal, non-urgent BM. Very anti-climatic, to say the least. I felt bad for making the outing a complete waste of time (we never got to see Summer perform). My father still hasn’t quite forgiven me. But I did get to go potty in a building full of celebrities and rich people. So I guess it wasn’t a complete waste!

62

It was my sister’s wedding, 1986, and I was sixteen. I mentioned in another thread that my mom didn’t like me to dance alone at weddings, on the grounds that it was making a fool of myself. Sad to say, this time, I think I did make a fool of myself. No, I didn’t go Elaine Benes on everyone; it was something else.

As I said, it was 1986. We were also in Kentucky, just across the river from Cincinnati. But I was from Joliet, IL, where many people, including myself, were into rap, and the DJ had a Run-DMC song on his playlist. I hounded and hounded him until he agreed to play it. And OMFG, when he did, that dance floor cleared so fast you’d think there was a skunk on it. I tried to get my groove on regardless, but finally left the dance floor…and the room…and the building…until my face was back to its normal color. The only saving grace is that no one asked me what I’d been thinking. (And the extra dollop of shame is the knowledge I now have, that you really shouldn’t ask a DJ to deviate from his playlist anyway.)

63

Late 1990s. Mumbai airport ,India. I just dot down from a plane , was first to make it to conveyor and first to walk out with my bag.

Except … the bag wasn’t mine (It was an identical bag and no one could tell the difference.).:eek:

I realised this after boarding a train to my place, as I could not open the bag with my key. Then I saw the bag had a priority tag attached,which was for business class passengers. I flew economy class. :smack:

Long story short, I want back to airport with the bag and met the owner of the bag and some nervous staff of the airline. I apologised and they all thanked me.

And the guy who was supposed to check the tag with my ticket ( it could have been caught there )was to have an assessment for his promotion the very next day . He was shivering when I met him .:smack: Hope he is more careful now.

I am much more careful and has a small identifying ribbon attached to my checked in bag whenever I fly.

64

Oh, sure, you dripped a little snot during a dress rehearsal.

You know what I did in high school?

I coughed up a snot ball right into the middle of the lunch table while publically asking the prettiest girl there to be my prom date.

I don’t need to tell you what the answer was.

65

I’m sure I’ve told this story before- but, what the hey. Certainly not sinc emy revival as “The Tof”

I’m on my second date with the woman who will eventually become Mrs. The Tof. (See proposal story in IMHO :slight_smile: ). It was kind of spur of the moment- we decided to see a movie… went to theater- bought tickets- had an hour to kill and went to the nearby mall to kill time.

In the mall- we went to the food court, found a table and were chit chatting when I felt the arrival of a gastro-intestinal invader. I managed to keep my cool and outwardly appear involved in the conversation while inwardly weighing my options.

1> I could hold it in. Which I would assuredly try- but it was becoming evident this was not gas that was going to be witheld for long.

2> I could attempt to silently let fly. The downside of course- the risk of noise and discovery by my lovely date

The more I look around the more I sell myself on #2. Large airy mall. She’s not likely to get a whiff- and even if she does I can totally pass it off on somebody else. Plus, fairly noisy- even if I’m not totally silent here I can get away with being pretty careful.

So, let it fly I do.

But it turns out that my body had other plans.

On a date with a girl that I really liked…

I didn’t really date much… kind of socially awkward and nerdy…

In the middle of the food court…

I crapped my pants.

Now- summoning all my strength, outwardly I managed to appear calm and collected. Nodding and staying involved in the conversation as much as possible.

Inwardly I was in full panic mode. My little inner man was running circles with his arms waving in the air yelling “OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK!!!”

OK- so I need to calmly move myself to the bathroom and do some cleanup, examine the pants. Oh please Oh please let my underwear hold… Oh No…

I wore boxers today.

This is going to be tricky.

Calmly I excuse myself and wander towards the bathroom. Now, said mall has bathrooms by the food court that are around the corner and down a long hall from the main seating area. So I manage to calmly walk around the corner- and then goose step as quickly as possible to the mens room.

I find a stall and examine the damage.

Somehow, someway- God saw fit to give my boxers super powers that day. Because for the amount of poo involved- the boxers held up! My pants displayed no signs of the poo assault. At this point I only had one obstacle to overcome- disposal. This consisted of me waiting in the stall until there was nobody in the wash area so I could evacuate and quickly bury the underwear in the trash. Not the shortest wait in a busy mall bathroom.

Man- was I mortified. I can only imagine how I would have felt if she’d actually found out about it.

66

<Reservoir Dogs>You knew how to handle that situation. Shit yer pants, and dive right in and swim</rd>.

:slight_smile:

67

Behold George Kaplin! KILLER OF THREADS!!

68

I FIRGIT HOW TO SPELL CHOCOLATE AT A SPELLING BEE… :frowning: I was in eight grade my stupid teacher wanted me to join the spelling bee, ACTUALLY he signed me up without asking for my consent. he just signed me up. so I was doing pretty weel, I answered correctly, spelled correclty w hole bunch of big words, the for some reason they ask me to spell chocolate. chocolate? what the fuck??? by then I was already too distracted by the guys I had a crush on he kept making eye contact with melike saying:" what the fuck are you doing?"
and I got so nervous and I tripped on the question andautomatically said"can you use it in a sentence" and the lady was chocolate as in eating chocolate" and i wa slike hypnotized or something. aghhhh. can I say that my first language is not english, btu still, that’s not a valid excuse…
embarrasing.
everyone thought I was retarded. :frowning:
but he wouldn’t stop making aya cohntact with me!! it made me all nervous and shit.

six years later, I am working for a bank being a language interpreter and…my cousin who also worked there and I went on a trip to the beach with coworkers, who were coplete pot heads, and way too stuck up. like seriously stuck up. anyway, for some reason they had it against my cousin because they said that because of her they got kicked out of the hotel or something. whatever. so my cousin and I were drunk and we get ambushed by these two idiots, deadbeats, looked like…bums, anyway theses assholes they talked us into drinking with them, and we were just talking,ok so they pretty much took advantage of us.
ok look, i was on my period,on the beach, sweaty, and this loser just threw me on the bed and lashed at my vagina with his mout. gave me oral. i was like what the fuck get off of me.
and i was able to get him off, grab my cousin, the other guy was all over her as well and we ran out of there.
these guys had been snorting cocaine as well. i know for a fact. so these motherfuckers turned out to be friends with this stuck up loser that worrked with me and they told him that we had stinking pussies.
oh well, excuse me but nobody told you to start sucking on my vagina you fucking idiot maybe if you had asked I would’ve told you i was on my PERIOD@!!!
OMG…everyone started talkuing about us at work, even my boss found out (he had gone to the beach with us)
I just told everyone that they were only saying that because they were pissed off at the fact that they wanted to have sex with us and obviously we refused. I could tell they were fucking idiots from the moment i met them.
and they also told everyone that we STOLE from them!! that we STOLE. can you believe it?
my cousin and I are far from thieves.
OMG.

obviously I quit that stupid place.

so I top everyone’sstory don’t I?

69

This is one I can remember now. I am sure there are more embarrassing ones.

We had gone to a church to we had never been to for my great-nephew’s baptism. After the service there was cake. My niece and her husband had gone into the nursery to take care of some diaper business and we didn’t know anyone else, so my husband and I were just kind of standing around eating cake.

Some kind soul came up to us and welcomed us there, etc. He mentioned that someone in the congregation had made the cake and there were some really good bakers there. To show my appreciation for the yummy cake, I said something along the lines of “Oh, yes, it is really good.” Then I finished up in a joking way by saying “Can’t talk. Eating. Mmmmmm…” He looked at me kind of funnily and then he WALKED AWAY… I was too embarrassed to go after him to try to fix it. My husband nearly died snorting trying not to laugh.

70

I have a few.

The first was when I was 18 and had this co-worker I was TOTALLY gone on (but thought, in my oblivious, 18 yr old mind, that I was hiding the fact well) and was made aware of the fact that EVERYONE, including HIM, knew it. O…M…G…:o

THEN, after all that was out on the open, he and I became friends. He had a steady girlfriend, etc…I accepted that and we moved on. We were friends…he bought me a book I liked for my birthday, we hung out at work and talked, etc…

THEN, leaving work one day, he said, “Hey, the band I am in is playing tomorrow night at ________. Why don’t you come? I’ll put you on the guest list and afterwards, come across the street and we can hang out or something.”

Cool, I thought. Free tickets. No strings. Supporting/hanging out with a friend.

Thing was, I had recently met a guy, the guy who turned out to be my DH of 23 yrs and the father of my 2 children, and so I invited HIM to come as my date.

After the show, we made our way across the street to say hi to my “friend”, who was rather obviously surprised/offended that I had brought another MAN to what he, apparently, had intended to be our hook up.

I must add that I was NOT mortified by this until some years later when my DH mentioned it in support of his perception that he had been in “competition” with this guy…then it hit me…O…M…G!!! I honestly was so dense/drunk on champagne that such sly mechinations had ever dawned on me.

The double whammy was truly mortifying. :o
The other was when an old friend I hadn’t seen in a while came into a party of old friends with a cane and I said, “Hey! Nice to see you! What’s wrong with your leg?”

See, I had HEARD she’d had a cancerous tumor in her leg, but it had been a while and I didn’t snap right away. I was, as usual, a big, fat, blatant, in-your-face, dense-as-a-black-hole IDIOT! :smack:

She just smiled and said nothing (as did the rest of the room) and I was later reassured by others that I was really NOT the scum of the earth and the party turned out well, but FUCK!!!

Yeah, pretty damn bad.

I’ve managed to get over both, but I still remember them vividly.

P.S. oh, and then there was that time in middle school I started my period in gym and bled through my white pants and had to go to the office with my sweater tied around my waist and get picked up, but crap, that’s just silly in retrospect. :wink: Seriously, I suspect EVERYTHING is silly in retrospect/the larger context, which is why I don’t allow myself to get embarrased much anymore.

71

Coming on 40 years ago I was with a friend walking down the street in Columbus, OH. A few feet in front of us was a very pretty young lady in a very short skirt. A blast of wind came along and blew the skirt up around her back. She instantly grabbed and pulled it back down but turned a bit as she did it so she saw us looking. Her face was about the reddest I’ve ever seen and she had the most beautiful, drop-dead embarrased smile on her face I’ve ever seen. That second and a half has stuck with me all these years.

72

Here is how a St. Patricks day went. Mind you, it went great up to about this point…

I was mostly blacked out for this, so I really don’t remember that much. What did it was (and I don’t remember this) is one of my drunkass idiot friends decided to give me four shots of Irish whiskey within a minute when I was already three sheets to the wind. Ten minutes later I was puking it back up. I was in there for an hour, and all my so-called friends were standing around the bathroom door laughing at me. I don’t remember that at all either. I do strongly remember praying and begging for death though. My dear sweet wife would have complied, but then she’d have no one to dispose of the body since that’s usually my department.

I was in the bathroom for about an hour throwing up and moaning. Then, I started wishing I was dead and proclaimed it rather loudly. I had my head on the bowl so long I bruised my forehead. I asked the kids’ mom to call for an ambulance, and she did. Only, not just one paramedic showed up,but eight paramedics, two cops, some firemen, and probably the mayor. There was a cop car, two ambulances and a firetruck all outside our house! I’m wondering if they assumed there was a huge party going on and we were all sick, or maybe it was just a boring night out in our neck of the woods. They put me on a stretcher and gave me an IV and two shots of something. No not booze, injections. They took me to Providance of all places because Legacy and Emmanual were supposedly full. They took Division most of the way, and came across a car wreck. They stopped to get out and help, then they hauled ass to drop me off at the hospital so they could go back to the wreck.

They wheeled me in, and tried to make me pee. I refused to pee for some reason so they gave me a catheter. Thankfully, I have no memory of that, although it hurt to pee the first time I went the next day. They took a blood sample and said I had a BAC of .17. So when the EMTs first got there, I’d probably had .2 or something close to that. They gave me another IV and two more shots. They walked me around the hospital trying to keep me awake, and I had no recollection of even doing that. I threw up a few more times in the ambulance and at the hospital. I threw up on myself and my saint of a wife washed my shirt for me in the sink. Once they said I would be OK and not die, she wheeled me out and put me in the car. Now, the kids’ mom is horrible with directions and I kept passing out while she was trying to find her way home. Irritated, I yelled at her that I didn’t even know where we were so how was I supposed to help her find her way home!?! That was the only time I’d made her mad at me the entire night.

I woke up the next day tired and thirsty, and had this horrible dream that I’d been in the hospital. That was, until I noticed the hospital bands and the four things of tape holding down where they stuck me with needles. I looked at them in horror thinking “… IT WAS NO DREAM!” I also had pain in my solar plexus really bad too. Apparently that happened when they stuck the catheter in, I kept sitting up in pain. The kids’ mom held me down right in that spot, and she pressed a little too hard.

I didn’t feel very hungover the next day. I attribute that to the massive amount of artificial liver enzymes they pumped into me, and the IVs of water.

Of course, it gets worse. I had six of my coworkers at the party that saw the whole thing. Also, one of my other coworkers was throwing a massive birthday party the next day, and many of my comrades at work were at that party the next day.

Word spread.

Two days later, I go in to work, and there’s only 3 people that haven’t heard about my shenanigans the Saturday before. Oh, did I mention that we’re a 24/7 call center and everyone has different days off?

It was awhile before I could drink hard alcohol again. Luckily I mostly stick to beer and I think that was my undoing. I’m not used to so much alcohol in such a tiny glass!

73

I’m really, really ADD. I’m young, and feel like I’m going through some rather severe cognitive decline as my ADD is getting really bad. A couple of months ago, as I was on a cross-country road trip, I stopped into a Denny’s with my girlfriend for a quick coffee and snack.

A few minutes into our break, I head to the bathroom to take a dump. I do my business, flush, wash my hands, and walk back to the table to finish my coffee. About two minutes later, as I’m sipping on my coffee and browsing the menu, I realize that something doesn’t feel right. In my pants.

I adjust positions, and sure enough, my ass crack just doesn’t feel right. Oh, god. I forgot to wipe. I make up some excuse about forgetting to wash my hands and hightail it back into the bathroom for damage control. There is shit all over my ass and underwear. I had to flush twice because I used so much toilet paper cleaning up.

I had to throw away my underwear and go commando for three hundred more miles, and had to wait until my girlfriend used the hotel bathroom for the precious few seconds needed to rush on a fresh pair of undies.

I have never been more ashamed, embarrassed, and afraid for my future. :frowning:

Don’t worry, this has not gone unnoticed. Well done.

74

i threw up on the guy sitting right in front of me during history class. :eek:
In a lecture hall.
With 200 of my fellow students looking on.
Well, 199 of them, anyway. The poor schmuck in front of me didn’t see anything. He just was the, uh, recipient.

It was 1975 and I was a freshman at Illinois state u. it was also the year that the swine flu hit the U.S. like… well… you know. I went from feeling fine to vomiting w/high fever within minutes of sitting down.

thankfully, somebody got me out of the lecture hall – not before I threw up again on the stairs, of course on my way out. i dimly remember driving home (commuter student the first year), stopping every once in a while to continue horking up anything and everything i’d ever had to eat in my life.

i was so humiliated, i never went back and dropped the class. :o

75

I was working as a desk clerk in a beach town at the height of summer, when every hotel room for miles had been booked for months.

A nice looking young man and his girlfriend came in, and said they forgot what hotel they had reservations at. I was pretty bored, so I offered to call around to local hotels to see if I could find their reservation. Otherwise they were going to be stuck with nowhere to stay.

One of the hotels I called had a new desk clerk, and he couldn’t figure out how to look up their reservations. After unsuccessfully trying to walk him through it, I suddenly remember that one of the reasons why town was so full was that there was a classic car convention going on. This particular hotel is the center of that convention, and it’s booked up years in advance by the convention goers. If I asked the guy about his car, I’d know if he was at that hotel or not.

Now, this convention was for a specific type of classic car…

Looking up, with a huge grin on my face from having found a solution to the problem, I ask out of nowhere…

“Do you have a woody?”

76

It was fourth grade history class and we were sitting in the dark watching a movie.

At the time I had one of those pens that you turn the lower portion and the pen head extends for writing.

So there I was in class watching the movie, running the closed pen up and down my thighs in the ridges of my corduroy pants.

When the lights came on I realized that the pen was open the whole time. Both of my thighs were covered in ink! I was mortified.

The weird thing is I can’t remember much after the lights came on. All I remember is walking to the library and trying to hold my books in a way that covered my thighs.

I remember nothing of going home and what reaction my Mom must have had. Maybe my mind intentionally blocks it all?

77

Dude, I have almost the exact same story. I think it was 4th grade for me and my word was ‘scroll’. I distinctly remember panicking when I was supposed to start and forgot to say ‘s’. Even though I realized my mistake, rules say you can’t go back and correct yourself so I just finished spelling ‘croll’ and slinked off the stage, mortified.

78

My worst ones are all related to periods. I have not owned a pair white pants literally since I was fourteen, and probably won’t again until I am past menopause.

Anyway, the worst one I can remember was when I was in India. It’s not funny, just humiliating. I was about fifteen, and my period was just totally irrational as teenagers’ often are. I hadn’t learned to manage my schedule, and to be honest, I don’t know if it would have helped anyway. It was heavy, too.

So it came early while we were out visiting a temple. I was too humiliated to say anything to my cousins, two of which were male, so I went to the bathroom and used lots of napkins and stuff.

Of course that doesn’t really work, as any girl knows. So later on, these two stranger girls draw my one female cousin aside and whisper in her ear. Apparently there were blood stains on the back of my kameez, the long top I wore. The napkins had kept it from getting too bad, but some had still seeped through.

You’re not even supposed to be in a temple when you have your period. Cousin came back to me and drew me aside. She gave me her sweater, which I tied around my waist. She was very kind but I was just humiliated.

To make matters worse, when I went home and was able to get a pad and change, I threw my panties away. (There was a servant who did all of our laundry except we had to wash our own panties). My cousin came to me a little later and told me she had found my panties in the trash, and why did I do that, and that she had fished them out and washed them for me.

I have never ever forgotten the sweet, kind look on her face as she told me she had washed my bloody panties for me after fishing them out of the garbage can.

Needless to say I hardly remember anything else about the visit to their house.

There’s others, but I’m sure I have wiped them from my mind. Eek.

79

I was a young boy in school and at that time I enjoyed reading out loud in class to kill the boredom so I was always volunteering for that. One day I was somewhat distracted and it took some time to register that the teacher had asked who wanted to read something. When I realized this I quickly and excitedly exclaimed “ME!” but not so quick as to do it before she added “A girl…” while glancing at us.

The rest of that day was rough.

80

Poor Anaamika. For solidarity, I’ll tell my embarrassing period story. Unfortunately, it’s not very embarrassing. I got my period — for the first time — one Saturday afternoon shopping in a department store. I was from a small town, and we had come to the big city to shop. I was on my own, no mother or grandmother to help; we’d split up to shop and agreed to meet later. I was 14 years old, and pretty mature and confident. Except that day.

I knew pads were available in the women’s restroom, and I even had money to buy them. But I was too embarrassed! I stood there, dime in hand, waiting to buy a pad, but women kept coming in! It was busy Shillito’s women’s restroom. Geez louise! So there I kept standing, pretending I was washing my hands and drying them, or just standing there. Finally, they all left, I bought my pad, installed it and all was well.

Poor little me! As if other women cared if a girl was going to buy a pad out of the machine.