Your mucus is clean now -- you can take it out of the drinking fountain

Your little pat of lung butter has been sitting in the drinking fountain since Tuesday morning.

You were right to leave it there for a while. Some stubborn clusters of frothy saliva were clinging to it until Wednesday afternoon, at least.

I’m quite confident that it isn’t going to get much cleaner. It’s all sparkly and yellow now. Completely rinsed off.

Confidentially, I’m a bit worried that it will start to spoil and discolor if you leave it there much longer. Not to mention the possibility that one of our overworked custodial staff will accidentally throw it away. Or that it might eventually, over time, slip through the drain bit by bit.

Or – horror of horrors! – someone might dump the dregs of their coffee in on it, completely ruining the flavor and color of your mucus forevermore.

Really. Wouldn’t you be happier if you took your mucus out of the public drinking fountain and kept it in a safe place? Yes, it does burble happily at me every time I need a sip or two of water. I’d miss it. But I worry about you every time I see it there.

Yours fondly,

Concerned coworker.

Very nice, Interrobang!?

And don’t you love it when you’re getting a drink and you realize that your cheek is about a half-inch away from that yummy wad-o-mucus?

By the way, it was most likely my next-door cubicle neighbor here. It sounded like he was trying to cough up a lung earlier. I was wondering where he was going to deposit it.

Oh lord…

Thank you for triggering my gag reflex. Really appreciate it. Ugh. :slight_smile:

My question is thus, How is it you can still drink from this fountain? I get ill thinking about it. If it were me, there would be a lot more than just mucus in there.My breakfast, for instance.

And how in the hell has it managed to hang on this long? Forget crazy glue, scrape this sucker off the next time the sole comes off of the bottom of your shoe!

[sub]Urk… old yellow-brown dried mucus… HUr-p… [/sub]

Oh fuck , that’s just wrong.

Thank god we only have bottled water in the office here.

w o r d s f a i l . . .

That thing’s a fountain? :smack:
I was wondering why the bidet was out in the hall.

Yeah, and those ain’t paper cowboy hats on the wall above the toilet, neither.

Thanks. I’ll swing by to pick it up tomorrow.

Did you happen to find a meaty booger on the wall of the bathroom stall? I don’t remember where I left it.