In a public restroom it’s reasonable to expect a certain quotient of vulgar lower digestive tract noise and stench. But what’s with these yahoos who have to put on a Vesuvius-like exhibition of expectoration?
Lately in the john I’ve been treated to the sort of hawking and spitting displays commonly associated with subway platforms. And we’re not talking about tobacco chewers (a revolting separate subclass of humanoids), but bozos who have never learned to blow their noses, or who apparently believe that saliva is deadly poisonous and must be expelled rather than swallowed.
Learn some manners, men of mucus. Or go out and buy a brass-plated office spittoon so you can be revoltingly gross behind closed doors.