While texting just now, I accidentally came across a list of my recent sent messages one right after another on the screen and it’s a little bit interesting and a lot MPSIMS. Here are my last five text messages.
1)Lmkwufio -“Let me know when you figure it out” in response to my 15-year-old son’s “idk”).
2)What do u want for xmas? - To both of my teenage sons.
3)Fuck you -To [email address removed - SkipMagic] for texting me spam at 2:30 am. Unfortunately, this asshole can only send them and not receive, apparently. Bastard.
4)The pregnant man was the 10th - To my coworker who was trying to remember one more “10 Most Interesting People of 2008”.
5)Ur bx was neg thats good whew - To my 17-year-old son after his skin biopsy results came in.
Would you care to share your own?
I understand your ire (especially after dealing with some SMS spam myself earlier today), but I’ve removed the e-mail address. It could be a hijacked account, some innocent dupe, but even so we tend to avoid posting contact info just so it doesn’t look like we’re trying to drum up a crusade to harrass the person at the other end.
Mine, from least to most recent, are all from the last 2 days. Not the most compelling stuff…
"I am making sangria!" - To let my housemate know I was making sangria .
"No, we have power. Have you checked the breakers?" To nearby friend when she messaged me to say her power had been out for a while and wanted to know if ours was out too.
3)“Well, you can call 131093 to find out if it’s a fault at their end or yours” - To same friend.
"Cool, see you then!" - Same friend, with whom I had made social arrangements.
5)“Yes, I can pick you up if you need, no problem. Also, welcome to summer!” - To my housemate who may need a lift after a Christmas party tonight. The remark about summer is to do with the miserably cold and wet day we are having despite the season.
“Gorgeous Cat! Priscilla was amazing, thanks so much for the tickets. Have a great time in Paris. Snog a Frenchie for me. Nx”
“Bill is speaking to Bob NOW.”
“No sorry, I don’t. And if I did, we’d have to have a knock-down celebrity death match cat-fight over the tickets. You’d probably win, but I’d give you a couple of good scratches on the way down. Nx” - To a friend who had asked me if I knew anyone with tickets to see MGMT that night.
“Hey Jordan! Leon and I were going to meet you and Cat at the Gaslight before Priscilla. We could still meet there, or we could all meet at the Pyrmont Bridge Hotel around the corner from the casino at 6.30 or so for a pre-show bevy and maybe some food. Let me know. Looking forward to it. Nx”
“Hey beautiful Dan, happy 30th birthday! Hope your day is full of compliments about how you don’t look a day over 29 and a half, because its true. Sorry I won’t be there for your no-doubt amazing party. Please have sex with a hot boy for me. Thanks very much. Love, Nick”
Most recent: A&P was good. Final class grade = 91%. Dont know algebra yet…felt like :(. Oh well…lowest it could put me would be a c, which would suck, but its enough 4 nursing. Good luck!
in response to my friend asking how my finals went while she was about to start hers. As it turns out, I got an 89% in algebra class, because the m’fucking final was 75% of the grade and I did indeed bomb it. I’m really hoping my teacher takes pity on me and bumps it to a 90%, but I’m not feeling real positive.
Before that was a fun little exchange with my son, who was home while I took my daughter for Santa pictures:
Son: Whr are you guys? It’s late! (It was pushing 9:30)
Me: Hell.
Son:Oh, say hi to satan for me
Me: Satan…santa…little difference really… [<-- pretend that’s a little grinning devil emoticon]
Son: Yeah, old immortal guys in red suits…
Me: LOL
Before that, unrelated, to my son, 'cause he sent it to me first: Its “I Love You” day. Send to everyone you love, whether its real love or friend love. UR spoiled if u get 4 back. I LOVE YOU!
Me: Hey, I’m at the store, I like your toothpaste, what kind is it?-To my boyfriend
Bf: Lol, crest pro health.
Bf (later): Did you get my brand toothpaste? <—(pretend that’s a sideways text smile)
Me: No, cause I think I got it once, and I kept getting canker sores. I got crest extreme herbal mint. I’m really excited to have an extreme tooth brushing experience.
Bf: Well, ya know they say it’s all about the simple things…
Yeah, the Bf and I have some awesome conversations about nothing.
My last five received messages (most recent first):
Snow for me! (along with a picture of a snowman my ex-wife made in Southwestern Louisiana this morning)
It’s supposed to be ‘ok’
oj
Hey bitch. Connie asked me to talk to Tim delicately about being a busy-body. It’s possible you just confirmed him as a reliable rat to the office. Hmmm…
wow thats really kind of you… keep in mind that if she rejects you. its only because she sucks.
Trains are shit. My train never left so went to Reading to get a connection. Stuck outside the station and might miss connection and think I’m going to be stuck here for the night. Cock! Still, it was worth it. Sorry, I’ll shut up now. Go back to sleep. x
Phew, made it by 30 seconds. Except now this one’s stalled for some reason. Arse! Kisses back at you. x
You keep your hands off my shitty stick. I need it to beat off the ladies. Er, if you know what I mean. xxx
1: “Broke!” (In response to my wife’s request for Starbucks on my way home from work. She still got one of course. I can’t say no.)
2: “OK. Did they puke/diarrhea again?” (I should just leave that standalone… but it was in response to my wife’s request for banana’s and applesauce on my way home from work. Our kids have been sick- and we thought they were getting over it, but apparantly she found our 2 year old in a big pile of filth and decided she needed to put him on the BRAT diet.)
3: “How’d your test go?” (To my wife who would have just finished her last final of the term about 10 minutes before I sent it)
4: “(The Kid) loves the biter biscuits. He was freaking wanting gookie pointing at them and frantically signing please. I got him a cookie since he said please- i thought i’d upgrade him but he rejected it and wanted the biscuit. Funny kid.” (Oof- that was long. To my wife- because this happened and I thought it was funny. “Gookie” is not a mistake- it’s how The Kid says Cookie- and he uses the term to mean any sort of treat. A biter biscuit- is by no means a treat either- it’s a nasty flavorless cracker that we have for his 9 month old younger brother. So I thought I was being a cool dad by giving him an actual treat. Nope)
5: “It is really expensive. I wouldn’t buy it unless I had money to burn.” (To my friend, yes I text somebody not my wife, about my experience with Dom Perignon. My sister got a bunch of free bottles once and shared with the family on Thanksgiving- but that’s a different post)
Game tonight at nine. Let me know if you wanna play.
Running nl holdem 1/3 or 2/5 tonite 7:00 pm @ xxx st. Good food, great action. Call Abe.
PAYMENT NOTICE Your next month service fee of 111.99 is due 13-DEC-08.
Game tonight at 9. Let me know if you wanna play.
Poker tonite at xxx at 8:00. Call me if you want to play.
I haven’t been to anyone’s poker game in over a month!.. I swear, these friends of mine are worse than the spam I get in my email accounts. That’s only the last 3 days.
[<-- pretend that’s a little grinning devil emoticon]
<—(pretend that’s a sideways text smile)
Cock! Still, it was worth it. Sorry, I’ll shut up now. Go back to sleep. x