Done the poop science. When our dog was still an active guide dog breeder, we got enrolled in a study where we had to rate her poop on a 0 - 5 scale. No samples, at least.
Rate based on what criteria?
Our JRT is not allowed in the bed by my husband, but I find it enormously snuggly and cute when he curls up in the bend of my knees under the covers, so we compromise: I let the dog hop in the bed with me when my husband isn’t home, and neither of us burdens my husband with the knowledge of it.
The dog does get a Christmas present, but it’s just a squeaky rubber chicken like he periodically gets anyway. His only outfits are the coats we have for rain and for cold in the dead of winter.
I desperately need to know what the “last gecko in the shop” move is. Does it involve big puppy eyes and your gecko glued to the front glass of his tank?
All right. I admit I did a double-take there.
We have a dog and a cat. I wouldn’t mind the cat sleeping on the bed, but she almost never does. Dog is too big and hyper and drooly.
I do talk to my pets as if they understand or something, though.
Or you could have added: Pets aren’t human.
So you can’t have any kind of relationship with anything that isn’t human? :rolleyes:
You don’t want to start that again. The discussion will just circle its tail for pages.
Eh. Some people are obsessed with pointing out how important it is to them personally to be considered superior to something else.
Other people overcompensate by driving Humvees.
Not only are you absolutely right, but you’d think I’ve been around long enough to have known better.
Statement withdrawn. 
Had a dream last night that, instead of dogs and cats, people had pet spiders the size of dogs or cats. All different colours and shapes.
I helped one little girl get her white, cat-sized pet spider down from the ceiling, where it was clinging. It had run up there because she was colouring its abdomen-fur pink, and had tied a pink bow around its neck.
If you’re going to threadshit, doing it in a thread started by a mod probably isn’t your best bet.
I had a spider living just inside the front door of my apartment for about three months last summer that some might consider to be a pet of mine. I named it (Boris, of course), and took care not to vaccuum too closely. Then he left me. 
Of course, if he’d grown to the size of a cat and tried to sleep in my bed, I suspect I might have left him.
If he’d given you the option of leaving. . .muahahahaha! 
How about making up songs for your pets? I noticed there was no option there.
Today’s was sung to the tune of ‘‘Maniac’’
He’s a Merlin cat, Merlin cat on the floor
And he’s meowin’ like he’s never meowed before
Well, I made up one for Ponch once, to the tune of Froggy Went a’courtin’ Ride, because he was on the ottoman, and I was rolling the ottoman around the living room:
Kitty went a foot-rest ride, honey
Kitty went a foot-rest ride, baby,
Kitty went a foot-rest ride, then jumped down to run and hide
Honey, baby mine.
But honestly, mudgirl was about seven at the time, and I did it more for her amusement than anything else. 
By the way, never gave the stats from the book that started this whole thing:
70% let pets sleep on the bed
2/3 (sic) buy Xmas presents
23% cook special meals
18% dress up
So it actually looks like we’re slightly less pet-crazy than the general population, except on the sleeping arrangements.
I chose the last option. My pets are always allowed on the bed. I don’t dress them up or buy special gifts, but they are given rewards and treats on normal days.
2/3 is 0.67%, for future reference.
It’s a bit closer to 67%, isn’t it?