This one does!
Boy, this gives a whole new meaning to the term ‘Internet of Things’…
But can it be operated by my iPhone?
If I can’t control with my iPhone, why on Earth would I want it?
Interesting.
I forwarded that to a special someone who’s gonna be totally WTF at me for sending it.
eerily reminiscent of:
vcr tape-purchasing scene @ 2:51, and then the trap is set @ 5:52… DECKER: Port Of Call: Hawaii – Episode 7 | Decker | Adult Swim - YouTube
followed by:
first ten seconds of this, and then @ 2:20 Gregg Turkington addresses the president:
Sure, this surveillance method didn’t gather vibration intensity data pertaining to the stimulation of nether orifices but it hopefully at least provided an air of ‘Orwellian Intrigue’ amidst (amid?) the splendour of direct-to-video VHS cassettes.
Lets be quite clear - the Vibe itself does not connect to the Internet. It can be controlled via Bluetooth from an app on a phone, and it is the app that communicates with the manufacturer. Having the phone in airplane mode during use prevents this. I believe that the device can be set manually via control button, so the app isn’t even required.
I dislike many Internet of Things devices due to poor security and privacy - but while this getting a lot of press it isn’t actually high on my “things to be worried about” list.
Pattern analysis could be interesting, but I really don’t see much security risk to the manufacturer knowing how effective the thing is for a variety of people.
The cynic in me does see them having the ability to see what the most popular patterns are and moving them to a “premium” tier.
In 1977, when I was a grad student at Illinois, I took a class on microprocessors, which were fairly new. The teacher was a guy I knew well who had just gotten his PhD and was on his job search. The final assignment was an essay on an application of a microprocessor, and so I used a vibrator. I called it SHTUP.
I got an A. But we were still doing ARPANet, so I wasn’t forward thinking enough to have it communicate wirelessly with anything.
Why would someone have a vibrator app on her phone again? To automatically tweet “oh my god, I’m coming?” To post it on Facebook?
Well, while it’s true that it’s probably completely controllable without the Bluetooth remote capability, I’d assume that anyone who bought it over just about any other electrically-operated sex toy bought it specifically for the “I can control this from my smartphone” angle. Because otherwise, it’s just another damn vibrator, and probably not worth the extra expense.
It’s intended as a user feature. And if you actually use the user feature, you’re also unwittingly sending usage telemetry to the company. Lucky you.
In other words, exactly the same kind of “internet of spying things” issue we’ve seen before in thermostats, refrigerators, and cars. If it’s not a concern to you, that’s because either A) you don’t use internet-enabled appliances so it’s not your problem, or B) you don’t use that particular internet-enable appliance, so it’s not your problem.
Sucks to be anyone else foolish enough to trust manufacturers, I guess.
If you plot the number of sessions that last a given time, I wonder if you get a Gaussian distribution with a very small value of sigma.
I’m a natural born worrier and worry about a lot of things I don’t need to. But I must confess this was one thing I’ve never worried about. (although I will now. Eeek)
Now, even if you don’t have a BF, you can still make a booty call. Or at least “Dial O.”
::bolding mine::
Let’s be doubly clear - using this device on an airplane may or may not get you off, WILL get you kicked off.
Besides, it could be worse. The thing could be taking clandestine trips to Cuba with a former owner.
Remote controls on sex toys are hardly new, it’s hardly a surprise that someone would take a remote control function and move it to a smartphone.
Good thing it doesn’t appear in your wireless statement for the SO to discover:eek:
“you’ve been…seeing another app device.”
Ahem…one would use it to control his long distance partner’s sex toy 
This gives Wikileaks an entirely new meaning.
Sigh. I suppose talking dirty and masturbation have gone the way of handwritten letters. Kids today.
Wait a second!!! I can get this for my wife and “do” her remotely from my girlfriends place? Then I can get credit for being there with her when I’m actually with who I want to be with?
Yeeeee-eeessss!!! Missed the wife’s birthday but definitely on her Xmas list.
Is it a version of the Talking Dildo? NSFW:
Is this thing starting to squeal too much?
“I’m afraid I can’t run that app, Dave.”
“Dave, this conversation can serve no further purpose.”