My mom has called Madonna and Tina Turner “The Singing Pig” and “The Dancing Pig” for forever. MY dad has always referred to Johnny Depp as Jimmy Dip.
I call Heath Ledger “Hotty Ledger”.
I also call Johnny Depp’s wife “That Fucking Slut” 
I also pronounce “Dr.” as “doctor” when it refers to “drive.” So Mulholland Dr. is “Mulholland Doctor.”
My ex-roommate bristlesage and I became addicted to CSI last year. We did have a wee porblem with it though - the show is so plot-driven and the characters so secondary that we had a real problem figuring out their names. Gil and Catherine, we got right away. But the other characters were dubbed thus:
Nick - Quarterback Guy. Cause that’s what he looks like.
Warrick - Beautiful Man. Say it with a faux German accent. Also popular: saying “I luff you, Beautiful Man!” whenever he appeared onscreen.
Sara - Angry Lesbian Doctor, cause that was her character on ER. bristlesage would usually prefer to work in a reference to her Secret Service agent character on The West Wing, though.
Greg - DNA Guy.
Hey, I thought I was the only one that called Keanu Reeves=Ka-noo-noo! Good to know others do so. And as Dogzilla said, I call America’s Worst Famous Actress, Julia Roberts=Bucky because she’s long in the tooth and long in the face.
Some others are:
Sandra Bullock=Sandra Buttocks
Ben Affleck=Matt Damon’s boyfriend
Matt Damon=Ben Affleck’s boyfriend
CBS=Grandma network
CSI=Grandma flashight show(because they solve every crime with the use of a flashlight even in the middle of the day in the bright bright desert)
David Caruso=Rutty
Sting=Stunk
J-Lo=Big Butt
There are tons more but at this time I can’t think of them. I do have nicknames for all my neighbors, but I won’t bore you with all of those. 
J Lo = J Ho
Taco Bell = Taco Hell
Alanis Morrisette = Big Mouth
Julia Roberts = Happy Teeth
FYE (CD/video store) = Forkover Your Earnings
Price Chopper = The Chopper
Cumberland Farms = Cumbys
There’s a town in California called Blythe. It’s a blip on the highway when you’re headed someplace beyond it. Everybody I know who’s every driven through it calls it Blight, and each of them seems to have come up with the little joke on their own.
Milk is “moo juice”.
Enchiladas are pronounced Enchildas (en-child-ahs), in honor of a long-ago spelling mistake on a hospital cafeteria board.
A high-end grocery store called “Whole Foods” is called “Whole Paycheck” by almost everybody I know. Another store called Berkeley Bowl doesn’t need a nickname, just a suggestive flick of the eyebrow or inhalation noise.
Sam Carter on Stargate: SG1 is “Dr. Badscience.” The scientist guy on Stargate: Atlantis is “New Dr. Badscience.”
Also, between the hubby and I, Seth Green is always identified as “Scott.” Not even Scott Evil or anything. Just Scott. We’re raging Buffy fans, so it kind of should be Oz, but, no, it’s Scott.
Whenever we see Alison Janney in anything but The West Wing we cry out, “Aaaargh! Evil CJ!!!” I think it’s because after getting to know her on The West Wing we saw her in a couple of things where she played evil characters.
I try to work “suck” into a show title whenever possible. It’s a little intellectual exercise of mine. Suckgate. Deep Suck Nine. C Suck I. Etc.
We call Kevin Corrigan “The Ugly Guy” whenever we see him because he was in a movie called “Walking and Talking” where he played “The Ugly Guy”.
We just call “The King of Queens”, “Fat Guy”. You wanna watch ‘Fat Guy’ tonight?
We always call “Liev Schreiber” (who was also in ‘Walking and Talking’) “Cotton Weary” from “Scream”. Its easier to remember.
We call the movie “Walking and Talking”, “that movie that Kevin Corrigan and Liev Schreiber were in.” That’s actually a pretty good movie.
For similar reasons (dining hall illiterates), Raisin Bran is “Rasin Brain.”
Thanks for reminding me Podkayne, around our house Deep Space Nine is actually Deep Sex 69.
I have to pronounce Gigli as “Giggly”… because the notion that somebody, somewhere, considered this a good idea to make just makes me giggle.
Tee hee.
No one has done the obvious Leoturdo Di Crapio?