Your Silly Nicknames For Faomus People, TV Shows, Etc.

Not really nicknames, but “mishearing on purpose” names. A thread about the musician (hope I spell this even close) Jomiriqui got me to thinking that back when he had that “slip-sliding” around the room video, I’d see it, and, thinking myself clever, say “Oh, yeah, there’s JoMama’sDaiquiri.”

Dallas, to me, was always Dull Ass.

Dynasty was Die Nasty (yeah, some of you may know that that was not original to me; I read a piece wherein Rock Hudson’s ex-companion said he called the show this while he was guesting on it)

Growing Pains was Groin Pains.

There was some British fantasy show (maybe that Robin Hood show of the mid-80s) that always spoke of the “Sword of Wayland.” Invariably, I’d quickly say “Jennings” after the word Wayland.

And so on…

Sir Rhosis

“Groin Pains” was the name used in my school as well. IIRC, that show was on the same night as “Head Up Your Ass” (“Head of the Class”).

Counselor Troi from “Star Trek: the Next Generation” will always be “Counselor Cleavage” to my college friends & I. Occasionally, my college room-mate referred to the whole show as “Star Dreck.”

I read somewhere that the soap opera “One Life to Live” is sometimes referred to (by its’ own castmembers no less) as “One Leg to Lift.”

I first saw him in Alien: Resurrection and so Ron Perlman will forever be to me called ‘apeface’.

Perlman was in Booty and The Beast, wasn’t he. A friend and I used to drive his wife ( a major fan) nuts with our "previews of upcoming episodes. “Next week, Vincent coughs up a hairball,” “Next week Vincent gets stuck up a tree and the fire department is called in to rescue him,” “Next week Catherine has Vincent neutered.”

Tony Danza meets Dan Blocker: “Who’s The Hoss?”

Eddie Haskell to The Beav’s mom: “You look lovely, today, Mrs. Cleavage.”

Ah, being juvenile…

Sir Rhosis

My mother always called the guy from Knight Rider “David Hasselblat.” And I think I’ve seen someone here use that as well.

7 of 9 from ST:V was “Titsy Galore” to me (and the reason I never could watch the show).

Of course there’s “Molly Ringworm” but that’s definitely not original to me.

I like calling Justin Timberlake “Jay Timbo”.

From unfortunate Radio Shack days : Fort Worthless
Sports hero in the news: “Loose Pants” Lance
Most popular sandwich chains: $7 bread and lettuce store
WalMart is “HellMart”
That Aussie place with the crappy food: Backsteak Outhouse

The wife has a million funnier ones. Thats why I keep her around. :smiley:

Wal-mart is WallyWorld
Radio Shack is Radio Rip
Best Buy is Worst Buy
Circuit City is Circuit Sh***y
A friend of mine calls Captain Janeway from Star Trek: Voyager “Captain Iron-Tits” :smiley:

I call Anthony Hopkins “A-Hop.” Sometimes I’m easily amused.

We call M. Night Shyamalan “M. Night Shama-lama-ding-dong” but that’s so screamingly obvious, I’m sure we’re not the only ones who have thought of it.

A lot of actors get called by the first character that they played (that is, the first one that strikes me as memorable) so poor Anthony Edwards is “Goose” no matter what I’m talking about. When he was on ER, I upgraded him to “Dr. Goose.”

Also on ER, some girlfriends and I used to have a weekly ER date, at which we would watch ER, make drinks, and generally talk about our lust for George Clooney. We called the show “Cocktails & Clooney,” and sometimes I will still call him “George Swooney” because … well, because I’m a big dork.

Richard Gere I call “Groin Face” because his face looks like a groin. No, I can’t explain that.

Patsy Kensit (not like I have occasion to talk about her much, but still) will forever be “Luscious Pouting Patsy Kensit” because that’s what the Melody Maker gossip column used to call her.

NBC did a bad TV movie I’ll forever call MAGICAL LEGEND OF THE CRAPRECHAUNS

For me, she’s 2 of 38D

I have trouble remembering the name of a second rate action film I saw a couple of years ago. After a search of IMDB, I found that it is called The Transporter, and other than a fight scene with people slipping around on oil, there wasn’t anything entertaining, and it was a bad movie in general. The reason I can’t ever remember the real name of the movie is because, along with the friend I saw it with, we refer to it as The Delivery Guy. Stupid name for a stupid movie.

Law & Order –

Blonde Boredom

Semisonic… Semitalented.

I’m fond of referring to Paul Harvey as “The Glurgemeister”.

Cloris Leachman = Clorox Bleachman

Ann Jillian = Ain’t Jigglin’ (!)

I, Claudius = alternately I, Clavdivs or I, Clamdip

Barbara Walters will always be Baba Wawa to me

Gonad O’Brien

This was a pretty common thing when I worked as an usher in a movie theater. Sadly, I can’t remember many now, but it was always as insulting as we could get it while still being close to the sound of the title, lest we were overheard by some uptight soccer mom. “The Sixth Sense” was “The Sick Sex”, “Saving Private Ryan” was the pretty common “Shaving Ryan’s Privates”, etc. There are some movies that, to this day, I hear the title and instantly think of our twisted title (even if I can’t remember any of them right now)