So a few minutes ago I was changing out a sheet that I have on my box spring. It sits pressed into a corner. I was trying to get behind the bed to wrap the clean sheet so I made just enough room to get my foot between the wall and the box spring. I stepped behind the bed and lifted it up but I didn’t grab the box spring like I thought, I grabbed the sheet which was partially wrapped. So the sheet slipped off the edge once I had the box spring about chest high. The damn thing came straight down and made contact with my shin, just under my knee and continued it’s shin-grind right down to the top of my foot. The part that got my leg was plastic which is underneath it on the corners. Got a nice big red line down my right leg now. And yes, the plastic tore through the skin for the most part.
Other times it’s a trash bag tearing just before I get it into the bin or closing my car door and letting the edge catch me in the ribcage.
So, what stupid accidents have you had that no one else witnessed? It’s time to fess up.
Yesterday I had two unwitnessed accidents. I say unwitnessed, beacaue I know the dog and cats won’t tell.
First I pinched, well slammed, the door to the washer on my pointer finger on my left hand. I was trying to close the door on the washer and set the dryer up to dry. A case of multitasking gone wrong.
The second was, I was putting pillowcases on the pillows. My pillow is a big fat down pillow that takes some wrangling to get it into the pillowcase. So I was maneuvering the pillow in and my hand slipped off the pillowcase, and I pretty much punched myself in the lip/chin.
My son technically witnessed this, but he was in the headphone zone, so I don’t think it really counts.
I was trying to put a new watchband on my son’s watch. I actually own the tool expressly made for removing the spring bars from a watch, but I didn’t know where it was. I decided I could make do with my very sharp, pointy embroidery scissors. I managed drive them smack into the center of the pad of my thumb.
I was at the dock pulling my raft out of the Colorado River. I backed the Jeep/trailer combo down to the water’s edge, set the hand brake, turned the jeep off, pulled the keys and started to get out. The jeep wasn’t in gear. :eek:
With the motor off, it’s way too heavy to stop without the power assisted brakes. :eek::eek:
Stuffed the key in (by now the entire trailer up to the rear bumper was in the river) :eek::eek::eek:
Turned it on, stomped on the gas and dumped the clutch VRRROOOOOm Wham! Busted the rear U-joint :smack::mad::smack:
I was still able to claw my way up the ramp with the front wheels engaged. My buddies then showed up with me at the top of the ramp dragging the rear drive line.
" I dunno, when I went to pull up, the damn thing just snapped."
I was washing my face in the shower. I don’t use a washcloth, just my hands and Cetaphil. As I was vigorously washing, I somehow misjudged both the placement of my nose and the angle of my fingers, and shoved the middle finger of my left hand up my left nostril. Hard. I don’t recommend this activity.
Years ago, I was washing dishes, and putting them in the dish drainer. I apparently stuck a steak knife in the drainer blade up (duh), and when I reached across it to place another dish in the drainer, I impaled my elbow. When I pulled my arm back, the knife came with it. I don’t recommend this activity either.
I was trying to drop off some used oil at an Auto Zone after it had closed, thinking they might leave the barrel for the used oil outside the store. No luck. I drove around back and still no luck. Rather than just back out the way I came, I did a three point turn in the very narrow space and my foot slipped. I hit the brake about a half second too late and backed into the side of the store. No witnesses, and other than a silver streak on the building and an unfortunately very scratched up painted bumper, I was the only one who was a party to that act of automotive stupidity.
Also, never hold something in your mouth (like a water bottle) when getting ready to climb down a ladder or you’ll end up kneeing yourself in the face, as I’ve discovered.
Late Friday night I broke my house key. It ended up with the key part still in the lock, and the holding end still on my key chain. Did I notice it Friday night? Nope. I noticed it while I was out for lunch on Saturday. Great timing with no extra house key on me, and the dog locked inside the house.
Putting new tires on my bike last week. Bought two tires, two new tubes, and two rim bands.
After stripping off the old rim band, I start pulling the new one on. It’s a tight fit, and as I’m just getting the last bit on, the seam (which I’m holding) bursts apart.
One band gone. Ok, I’ll just change the back tire today, the front is still good. Lesson learned: put the seam (which has the opening for the tube valve) on first and do all the tugging and stretching at the other end.
Putting on the second band, I started from the valve-hole and worked my way around, finally getting everything on all nice and neat. I then rolled the wheel around to find that while pulling and stretching the band around, I’d managed to slide it enough so that the valve hole was no longer lined up with the one in the rim, and the band was so tight there was no way it was going to slide back now. I get out a knife and manage to cut off this band without scratching up the rim too much.
Two bands gone, no tires changed, no riding until I go back to the shop and get another pack. Lesson learned: line up the holes first and stick something through (a valve stem, for example) to keep them lined up. This time, at least, I managed to get everything on with no mishaps.
Change the above for St Ives Face Scrub, and it was me. Glad I’m not the only one.
Also, tried to walk past a door to my bathroom, caught foot on door, door swung and whacked just above my eye, so I had a headache and a bump on my forehead for a day.
My best by far though, is the time I was punching holes in leather of some new horse stuff I had just gotten. Leather punch got stuck, tried to pull it straight up… leather punch came out and flew straight into my face. Landed about a centimeter from my eye, and left a very neat round scar.
Cutting a piece of J channel to put around my porch roof. Too lazy/stupid to walk 50 feet to the saw, I used my pocket knife. Knowing it would end in disaster, I persisted until I managed to drive the knifeblade about 1-1/2" into my thigh just above the knee. :smack: My second thought was to pull the knife out, my first thought was to look around and make sure nobody saw that.
The weather was nice the other day so I decided to ride my bike to the store. I took this dirt road that is basically just two tire tracks in the dirt. I hit some bumps and veered off into the grass to the left. No problem, except there’s a steep drop off and a creek on the left, and I really didn’t want to risk tumbling down there so I hit the brakes. Then my foot got caught in those stupid pedal straps I keep meaning to remove. Since I couldn’t put my foot down, plonk. I fell over with all the grace of Benny Hill.
Why do you have to ask such a complicated question?
Prior to this I had a futon/couch that I slept on. When I bought the bed 3 weeks ago it was delivered-Mattress, box spring, and steel frame (which I don’t use). I ran to the store and bought a sheet set, which only includes a sheet, fitted sheet, and pillow cases. I forgot to buy the skirt. Got back home and found a spare white fitted sheet and just covered it up. Haven’t really thought about changing it since then.
So now that you’ve reminded me, I guess I have a new task for tomorrow.
And to stay on topic!..
A few years back I fell down a hill with a running chainsaw. No, I didn’t die.
I did that once too. I was walking through a field with high grass at summer camp, and WHAM IT’S A RAKE.
My most painful unwitnessed accident was probably when I was about thirteen and I was at my aunt’s house. I was bounding down the stairs a couple at a time, and when I was near the bottom, I leaped off - and promptly hit my forehead on the archway at the bottom of the stairwell, and landed flat, with my tailbone hitting the hard tile floor. In one jump, I managed to injure both my head and my butt. I was impressed with my own gracelessness. (Sitting down HURT for the next several weeks.)
I lived alone at the time. If I needed to get up in the night I didn’t need to turn on a light, because the LED’s of my various electronics kept the place well enough lit for someone who’d been sleeping, and the bathroom door was always left open.
Unexpected guests, who close the bathroom door.
I feel the call of nature, wake up, walk to the bathroom and WHAM! Until you suddenly encounter a solid object you don’t realize just how much kinetic energy you put into everyday stuff. Had my beer gut been smaller I would have broken my nose and spent the rest of the night in an emergency room trying to explain that I didn’t need the domestic abuse pamphlets, I really had walked into a door.
In the house I lived at when I was in college, I passed out in my room one afternoon. When I woke up it was dark out. I have to go to the bathroom, so I leave my room to stumble down the dark hallway to the bathroom. The bathroom was on the right just before the steps down to the first level. I should have turned on my bedroom light to light my way, but I had just awakened and wasn’t ready for the light. I get to what I think is the bathroom and squint at the weird light I’m seeing. I took a step forward and slid all the way down the steps on my ass. Hard.
One day last month I brought some leftover Chinese for lunch (shrimp with lobster sauce). I was sooo looking forward to that instead of the usual Sam Hamwich.
I worked later before break than usual, and I was good and hungry. In my haste to get out the door to go to the breakroom, I passed too closely to the doorknob (door was ajar slightly). The end of my angel-sleeve blouse caught on the knob. My hand stopped, but the plate I was carrying didn’t.
I stood there numbly as all the lovely fat little shrimps tumbled across the floor.
Witness implies they saw something happen, right? Not heard? Right?
Was on the phone with the SO, and I was tipping my chair back and forth, back and forth…tipped a bit too far back, and kerplunk I went. It was carpeted, and it’s a fairly low chair. I told the truth when he asked what happened.
