People who don’t get that everything doesn’t revolve around them, that the way they see things is the only way, and that people have a right to do things any other way but their way.
I’ve known a few. One agent got pissed off at our real estate broker and turned over his desk on the side while the broker was sitting at it. When the broker was screaming “Get the fuck out of here,” the psychopath went to his office and proceeded to go to work like nothing had happened. I had to call the cops to get him escorted out of the office.
In court, he claimed “self-defense.” The judge didn’t buy it.
Not me, but a friend of ours that lives in a rural area outside of Wichita, KS, had a man knock on her front door claiming that he was with the county inspection office and needed to inspect their mechanical room in their basement. This happened in 1999. He first asked if her husband was home. She asked him what his name was and what county agency he was with. He asked again if her husband was home. While the man was on her front porch with the storm door locked, she attempted to call the county just as her husband pulled into their driveway. The man jumped their porch railing, ran to his truck hopped in and sped off. It was a bit unnerving, but they dismissed it.
Fast forward about 5 years, when BTK was arrested and shown on TV, our friend realized that was the man on her front porch back in 1999.
My BIL’s ex. Some family members described her as a sociopath. Since I’ve never studied psychology, I just thought she was a self-absorbed whack job.
My BIL has mental and emotional problems and honestly, we have no idea why she married him, but we’re all pretty sure it was her idea. From the beginning, she treated him more like a pet than a spouse - honest-to-goodness, I saw her pat him on the head! Despite being a bookkeeper, she was very, shall we say casual about her personal finances. They were constantly being evicted from apartments, having their phone turned off, having their cars repossessed.
She turned in her own father to the IRS for tax evasion to collect the reward, then couldn’t understand why he didn’t want to hear from her any more.
She refused to let BIL work - I’m sure it was a control thing on her part. Then one day out of the blue, she called us saying “Come get BIL. I can’t deal with him.” Again, treating him like a pet she no longer wanted. My husband’s parents drove over 500 miles to pick him up (she was conveniently absent when they arrived) and BIL literally only had the clothes on his back. She’d thrown out all the rest.
As part of the divorce proceedings, she promised to set up a bank account for him and make regular deposits. Yeah. She set up the account and put $100 in it, and that was it. Then she neglected to file that year’s income taxes, which eventually came back to bite BIL in the ass. Yep, she was a gem.
What I never understood was how she managed to have 2 other husbands besides my BIL - maybe she targeted the same kind of man every time.
When I was a kid, our close family friends lived across the street. I found a box turtle and was keeping it out on the driveway. One weekend I got up and my turtle was missing. As I looked around the yard for it, the kid across the street (he was about 11 or 12 at the time) said, “I think I know where your turtle is.” He led me to his backyard and showed me the turtle, which he’d bashed in with a hammer. There are a million stories I could tell you about him and he has actually been diagnosed as a sociopath. He’s currently in jail, thankfully (armed robbery of a bank).
My sister’s live in boyfriend stalked and harassed her after they broke up. Finally, he started dating another woman. One day, he found a breakup note his new girlfriend had written, but not yet given him. He strangled her as she slept and he is currently serving life in a Virginia prison.
this type of person tends to also be very manipulative and endearing. The type of person who could tell you to go to hell and make you believe the trip was your idea.
Sociopathy doesn’t have very good census data, but it seems to occur mostly in men, and might account for the behavior of about 2% of the male population. I’ve known four women, by quick count, well enough to know that they were married to sociopaths, and two whose fathers were. It is very, very scary. Once you become he victim of a sociopath, it becomes a game to them, and they never let you go, and they always win.
The sociopaths one encounters in real life are usually quite intelligent (the stupid ones are all in prison), smart enough to know exactly what the boundaries are of what they can get away with. They also have a very polished external personality, who know how to give the appearance of being a nice guy, who can easily deflect accusations against them.
It’s quite different from narcissism. Sociopaths set out with the objective of identifying a weak victim and terrorizing that person. But may not openly exhibit any other visible behavioral disorders.
IANAD, the above just reflects my personal observations of people who have been the victims of sociopaths.
In the book The Sociopath Nextdoor, the author says to look for someone who is a very sympathetic character, in other words they manipulate with asking for sympathy. There is actually a list of 15 things on how to deal with a sociopath. She claims a 4% figure in the US population.
Yes, this is true of the guy I know. He has been caught committing several crimes (non-violent), but was able to “charm” his way out of charges being pressed. The first time he committed armed robbery, several well-respected members of the community acted as character witnesses. He basically got a slap on the wrist and the judge even asked him to participate in a program where he would go to schools and speak to kids about substance abuse. He is definitely charming and has the added bonus of being very handsome. The second time he committed armed robbery (while on probation), I think they had no choice but to throw him in jail for an extended period. He doesn’t have too much longer on his sentence, though…I think just over a year left.
I think my mother is one. Growing up she literally seemed unable to realize me and my siblings existed unless she wanted something from us. She was supposed to be everything in our lives like some sort of god and we weren’t supposed to exist without her.
What’s wrong with me? I cannot recall ever interacting with the type of person described above. If 2% or 4% of people qualify, then one person in each 25 to 50 that I encounter must be a sociopath. Is it possible that there is something about me that tells them I am not the victim type?
