Between kaylasdad99 and filmore I think the clear answer is to tell the parents that you got a bidet attachment for your toilet. The parents will have to lead the way here on what you may and may not discuss with the child.
I think this is a separate issue from what you tell the girl. What if she worries about the bidet being there and becomes reluctant to use the toilet?
“Not a drinking fountain.”
OK, I’m not a parent, never have been, never will be. But when I read these two posts I feel very sad. Is the world such a threatening place for an 8-year-old girl that this attitude is appropriate? I hate to think so.
And I wonder if the parents’ attitude would be any different if the child were a boy. This is not a “gotcha” question, I am genuinely interested.
You don’t have to talk about unless she asks. But at age 8, she’ll get it. “It’s called a ‘bidet.’ It’s to wash your bottom after you go. Ask your parents about it.” You don’t have to demonstrate, and you don’t have to let her use it. And don’t let the Mrs. make it a taboo because that’s what will turn it into something weird. They’re not common in the U.S. but there’s nothing weird about it unless you’re Crocodile Dundee.
The hotel-style standalone ones are rare in homes, but you can buy an add-on bidet at Home Depot or Lowe’s. If you had one you would abandon that position, unless your timing is such that you shower every time you use the toilet.
Besides sounding like the setup for a terrible plumbing-themed horror movie, this will never work. The kids in the movie will immediately want to play with the thing. So will Coraline.
To each his own. I hope you are having lots of discussions about body parts with your daughter to normalize it. She should feel comfortable discussing these things with you. Because if she is ashamed to talk about her body parts and bodily functions, a pedophile will have an easy time convincing her that her parents would be angry with her if she told them about what happened to her and that it should just be a secret between them. It’s a fine line between “don’t talk about these things with other people” and “we don’t want to hear about these things.”
aap.org.en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/news-features-and-safety-tips/Pages/Parent-Tips-for-Preventing-and-Identifying-Child-Sexual-Abuse.apsx
Seriously? You’d get a different babysitter if your regular one got a bidet? What do you do if she sees wet wipes in somebody’s john?
It’s an utterly normal appliance. It does not automatically imply weird sex practices, or even common sex practices.
Just tell her that there’s a special attachment that you use to wash your butt when you go to the bathroom. If you feel you must, have the wife tell the parents, too, but it really seems akin to saying that you installed a new shower, to me anyway.
If you don’t tell her it’s used to wash butts, that thing will turn into a “secret drinking fountain” in a hot minute.
I have one and my son - at 8 - was inquisitive. I told him what it was and how to use it. He used it twice and lost interest.
You could always mount a simple set of instructions, making it self-explanatory. Other guests would appreciate it, too.
And that is, of course, the solution:
Homie can just leave out the dildo collection the next time the kid comes over, and that will surely ensure that his wife won’t have to be embarrassed to tell the kid that she cleans her butt after she poops.
Everybody wins!
I have lived nearly all of my adult life outside the US and have had many homes with bidets, stand-alone ones even. It did not change my position in the least. Maybe it would if I crapped at random all day long, but since my innards very kindly wish to evacuate when I get up in the morning, just before I shower, it’s not an issue. (Also, I didn’t think this was a special skill or anything, but I’m REALLY good with tp.)
I hate to break it to you, but their teachers will have had conversations with them about toilets many times. “Hey little Timmy, do you need to peepee? Shall I come with you?”
And why does the wife have to do the talking?
I think Crocodile Dundee’s explanation is perfectly appropriate: “It’s to wash your backside with.”
I assume because the wife knows the girl much better, she could be a lot more delicate about explaining it, and HeyHomie would feel awkward and is maybe worried about it looking weird that a grown man is talking bathroom stuff with a young girl.
I was around the same age when my family went to a big picnic at somebody’s cabin in the woods. There was no plumbing so they had an outhouse. One of my mother’s friends took me to use it and she explained that it was too far away to have water pipes so it was like olden times out there. It was no problem at all. The adults were way more worried about the well. It had a little shed built over it but the door didn’t lock so they were afraid one of us would get in and fall.
Not a parent, but that in no way would be of any concern to me unless she continues “…and his name is Kevin.”
All of this. The latter thing mostly. I’m as woke as the next guy, but it seems wrong for me for a grown man to discuss bathroom things with a little girl. My involvement with her and the bathroom began and ended with me telling her where it is (“first door on the left”).
“Bidet, mate!”
I’m a parent, and I think there’s a lot of pearl clutching going on in society in general about this sort of thing. It’s silly.
I mean, come on. Little kids get their diapers changed by lots of people. Kids being potty trained need an adult to wipe their butt for them for a while. Then after that you need to remind them to wipe their butts, and instruct them on how to do it. Don’t be embarrassed about bodies. Just be matter of fact.
There’s zero reason to be afraid of someone describing a bidet in simple straightforward language. We have one in our house, and if a kid asked about it, I’d say “It’s called a bidet. It’s to help clean your bottom after you poop.” Like, they get it that butts have to be cleaned. We don’t have to be such prudes.
This mentality is baffling to me. Do your kids never go to the bathroom outside of the home when you’re not around? Did they never go to a babysitter while being potty trained and need help wiping? You never had a boy learning to aim and his friend’s mom had to talk to him about not peeing on the seat/floor or at least wiping up after? Kids poop and pee, and you need to talk to them about it, fairly often, for at least a few years. Do you just keep them under lock and key at home that whole time? Did you never go to a movie on the off chance they might have to pee while you were gone and the babysitter would god-forbid say something about it? To me, this seems like an irrational fear of stranger danger taken to an absurd degree of excess. What am I missing?