Last night I purchased and installed a toilet-seat bidet attachment, for reasons that you don’t need me to explain to you.
Mrs. Homie infrequently (4-5 times per month) babysits an 8 year old girl for an hour or so after school, or on days when there is no school.
She (Mrs. Homie) says that we should tell “Coraline” that the attachment is Never To Be Touched, Never To Be Asked About. With any luck, she’ll lose interest and won’t touch it or ask about it.
I say there’s absolutely zero harm in telling Coraline exactly what will happen if the messes with it: that it will spray a blast a cold water at her butthole (a conversation that Mrs. Homie needs to have with her, not a conversation for me to have with her). I also say that turning the device into a Thing Of Mystery And Intrigue is just going to make her more interested in it.
What say you? Warn her not to touch it? Have Mrs. Homie explain to her what it is? Don’t mention it at all and hope she doesn’t take an interest?
I see lots of issues if the girl tells her parents about a butthole washer at the babysitters house. As parents, you don’t want the babysitter talking about anything like that with your daughter. It doesn’t matter whether it’s you or your wife telling her. The parents are going to be thinking that the babysitter is doing the washing. You don’t want to do anything that will make the parents have those kinds of thoughts.
Can the valve to the bidet be turned off when she’s there? If she’s told that it’s something inconsequential like “a toilet with a washer” and it doesn’t work, she’ll likely just ignore it.
I agree with you that Coraline will immediatly find it the most interesting thing in the house and will do whatever it takes to investigate the Magic Mystery Thing on the Potty.
All Mrs. Homie has to say is that it’s a special gadget to help wash off your bottom after you go #2. She doesn’t need to know the backstory.
(And if she wants to try it, let her, and after the first cold blast launches her into orbit she’ll never want to touch the thing again!)
I installed the exact same bidet a few months ago for my wife. Took me 2 trips to Lowes to finally get it to work. I have used it a few times, works pretty good.
Yes, seriously, I don’t understand the prudishness here. Also she’s 8 not 3. Most 8 year olds have perfectly functioning brains if you try and engage them.
Do you get equally embarrassed about toilet paper?
It’s an American thing, and it’s not prudishness exactly, it’s just that most of us find bidets weird and exotic, since they are exceedingly rare in the US. If you shower assiduously at least once a day, they don’t seem all that necessary.
Agreed. Even in the US where we don’t generally use a bidet, they aren’t taboo by any means.
For the sake of not wanting to confuse a kid who has likely never heard of or seen such a thing, I’d just say, “It makes it easier to get clean down there,” if she asks (or your wife can, as the kid herself might feel embarrassed afterward). Maybe mention it to the parents in passing, just in case she asks them about it, and they likely don’t have one. Can’t say I’ve been in this exact position before, but it *really *shouldn’t be as complicated as it’s being made out to be.
You’ve never met Mrs. Homie. She’ll agonize for hours over the most trivial of trivial things. She comes from a family where the worst thing you can do is cause embarrassment.
As a parent, I do not want anyone other that me or my wife talking to my kids about bodily functions, intimate areas, or anything like that. I don’t want to normalize having other adults talking about that stuff in any way for the kid. Kids won’t know the difference between a helpful adult and a pedo trying to groom them. I want it to be a hard line that doesn’t get crossed. That’s just something I’m going to be super protective and proactive about because I don’t want to take any chances.
What I might consider appropriate for the bidet is if the wife told the kid “It’s called a bidet. You should ask your parents to explain what it is.” And then the wife should tell the parents that their child asked about it. But to be honest, I probably would be worried and might consider using a different babysitter. Nothing against the OP, but I wouldn’t want to have that doubt.
I was probably eight years old when I encountered my first bidet. I was with my dad, visiting a friend of his. I had to pee and my dad’s friend gave me directions to the bathroom. When I entered the room it was immediately obvious there was one toilet too many. I investigated and more or less figured out what was up. No big deal.
Wait, I’m curious; how unpleasant is it with cold water? Particularly in winter if you have well water. I know I have to mix in some hot water to comfortably wash my hands. BTW, I agree that you should tell her frankly and honestly what it’s for. If you’re concerned, mention it to the parents ahead of that, just to avoid any weirdness.
Thoroughly numbed the gooch this morning, but, you know, First World Problems. I wasn’t going to spend the extra money on one with a heating attachment.
Good grief! I can’t believe this is an issue. It’s plumbing, FFS. If she asks, tell her it rinses a person’s bottom after they go, but she should ask her parents exactly how it works. No doubt SHE has been taught not to discuss her private parts with other adults. NO. BIG. DEAL. This:
is Beyond Nuts. It’s not a dildo collection, a whip, and a set of handcuffs.
If you really feel the need to talk to her about it, I hope you can be less crass than “It squirts water up your butthole”
“It squirts water to clean you up”. Sounds better.
That said, that’s not a conversation I would be having with any kid that’s not mine. I think you should listen to your wife.
