Bill Engvald has a bit about taking a shower when his eight-year old daughter with her friend suddenly jerks the curtain open and says, “See?”
“… You cannot climb a tile wall.”
I don’t have a bidet, but I’m considering getting one. At first I thought, of course I need a hot connection, I don’t want cold water squirting on me. But then I thought, it always takes a minute or two to warm up at the faucet, so why wouldn’t it here? And if the first few minutes are going to be cold anyway, a hot connection is basically useless.
What do experienced bidet users think of this line of reasoning? Is warm water possible or worth the effort?
The first few times getting hit with cold water is…bracing. And your bottom will stay chilled for a while…my daughter tried it out yesterday and for 15 minutes was announcing her butt was frozen (she’s 37…) but after a few days of using it, you get used to the cold and it is refreshing. And it was better on the days when it wasn’t 20’F out. I have found that if you wait a minute after the rinse, you can dry off with less TP than if you are racing to get out of there.
And as for why you might want one…let’s be blunt. If you poop once a day and it’s hard pellets encased in slime that leaves little trace, you may not need a bidet. But I have never fully become normal after being hospitalized with C. diff and I can poop seven times a day. That was a lot of toilet paper, and a lot of irritation. Add in hemorrhoids on occasion. And consider those who are NOT in menopause. My toilet is not situated close enough to the sink to moisten the TP, and we were using way too many wipes (which should not be flushed, no matter what they say…apparently my city had to go to one woman’s house and BEG her to stop flushing wipes because it caused some problems with the sewer system. Yes, they traced it back to her house.) And from what I understand, people with IBS and Crohn’s can get irritation from small amounts of TP being left behind.
How cold is the cold water in your bathroom sink? Unless it’s so cold that it’s uncomfortable to touch, it won’t really be an issue. On below-freezing days outside, the water will be cold enough that it’s noticeable but still bearable. On most days, it’s totally fine. I actually have a hot/cold unit but I’ve never bothered to hook up the hot water line.
Optional at extra cost, you can get the units with steam cleaning plus hot wax.
(Certainly avoids the frozen-butt problem.)
It doesn’t need a hot connection. The device heats the water. At least this one does.
Without getting into TMI territory, let’s just say that there are many variations in anatomy and diet that mean that bidets are more useful for some than others.
I do rather like this thought experiment, though: If you accidentally got some shit smeared on your elbow, would you wipe at it with paper until the paper came away clean and wait until your next shower, or would you use water to wash it?
Mine has adjustable pressure, but it’s definitely strong enough to spray out of the toilet, and not strong enough to reach the ceiling (nor is it angled straight up). There’s a weight sensor in the seat so it won’t spray if you press the button and aren’t sitting on the toilet, though if you’re determined to make a mess you can press down on the seat and spray it at the walls.
For my money, the one that warms the water is worth the extra $hundreds, but it depends on climate. Ours also warms the seat, which is pretty nice first thing in the morning.
So, any update on what happened? Did you tell the little kid? Was she traumatized? Did her parents flip out? 
Post #67:
REPORT
No school today, so Coraline and her sister are here. Neither Mrs. Homie nor I has said a word to her about The Mystery Thing. Coraline has been in and out of our bathroom, and I didn’t hear any startled screams coming from there, nor did she ask either of us about it. I guess she’s not interested.
Much ado about not a lot.
People in Europe do not shower once a day. I know this, because my mother somehow had the position of Official Explainer of the US Custom of the Daily Shower to visiting faculty from other places (mostly E. Europe) at the university where she taught.
Anyway, we had a bidet in my parents’ house where I grew up. An actual fixture, not an add-on to the toilet. Installed in 1975. It was in my parents’ bathroom. My mother explained to me what it was for, and that it was being installed because one of my grandfathers had a bad leg, and difficulty standing in the shower, so he couldn’t shower every day.
I was eight.
For a few months, I had a good time showing the device to my friends, but the novelty quickly wore off. I think once in the entire history of living in the house, I sent a friend to my parents bathroom because my brother was in ours, and she came back unsure about the extra fixture.
My grandfather ended up not using it terribly often, or ever, as far as I know-- albeit, my parents always gave them their room when my grandparents visited, and my parents slept on the pull-out couch.
When I was about 10, my mother got a toenail fungal infection, and had to soak her feet. She used the bidet. She could fill it up with water, add the anti-fungal medication, then sit on the toilet, and do her soak.
When I was about 12, I discovered that the bidet (which had two streams), could hit certain places in just the right way, and I wanted to be able to use it, but my mother never wanted to let me. I guess the first time I was in there for 20 minutes, she knew what I was up to. She was the sort of parent who didn’t object to stuff in the abstract, but was squicky about knowing what was happening when.
But Coraline probably won’t need a babysitter by the time she’s 12.
I think you’ll probably find this varies. I lived in Hungary for five years and people my age seemed to shower daily. My Hungarian girlfriend who lived with me definitely did.
Here’s a stat I was able to find. In France 70% of men and about 76% of women shower daily (that’s actually slightly more than the US average, which looks like it’s about 72% and 73% respectively). In Russia, ~35% of men and ~61% of women shower daily. In Germany, it’s more like 45% of men and 51% of women.
Ok, I’m British we’re stuffy & well…stuffy about everything to do with all that kind of stuff…,
But one thing we’re not stuffy about is our toilet habits.
We talk about going to the loo & having to maybe have a number 2, we’ll quite happily say we’re off for a number 2!
If a kid is off a poo then great! They may well announce it.
They certainly won’t give a fuck if your loo has an attachment that might squirt water up their butt!
If your American kids are like our UK kids they’ll just shit & wipe.
Ffs, what is this thread about?