Your transaction is now over, now STFU!!

I used to work retail so I understand chatting with the customer as you are ringing them up, but I’ve noticed a trend where the cashier and customer are having a conversation, the transaction is done/paid/receipt handed out and they keep having the conversation. I don’t mean the customer keeps talking and the cashier is trying to move on. I mean an honest to goodness dialog between the two. Maybe if the cashier were finishing up while ring me up it would be different but no, they stand around doing nothing except talk while I’m waiting there.

Yesterday was a good one. I’m in the grocery story and the checker actually stopped ringing up the items so they could focus more on the conversation with the lady being rung up. I understand you want to be friendly but this is not social hour and and when you hand the receipt to the customer, you’re on my time now. So shut your fucking talkhole and ring up my order.

I’ve learned not to bother much with actual substantive conversation with the cashiers at my local Giant grocery, at least at peak busy times. They prefer their conversations with shoppers to be pro forma. They always ask, “Did you find everything you were looking for?” Apparently they are told they have to ask that. Of course they don’t want to hear a real answer. They expect a perfunctory “yes.” 'Cause if you didn’t find what you wanted, what is it to them, what will they do about it anyway? It’s comparable to saying “Hi, how are you?” when the only answer is supposed to be “Fine!” Phatic speech. A simple speech act meaning “I’m here. You there?” and nothing more.

I learned this when a cashier asked me, “Did you find everything you wanted today?” and I said “Well, yeah, except there weren’t any of the store-brand frozen peas I always get, so I got Birdseye frozen peas instead, 'cause that’s all there was…” The cashier made no reply to that but gave off what I took to be impatience vibes.

This infuriates me. I understand that there are people who are desperate for social interaction, but Jesus, this is sorry ass. When I was a cashier, I took pride in being super fast, and if there was a line, I was that much faster. A lot of people seem to be clueless about other people’s time.

Arrgh, yes this pisses me off! At Target not too long ago, I was forced to feel rude for walking away from a checker who was attempting to continue a conversation with me after the transaction was complete. urgh.

Similar: Wal-mart, couple in front of me had some…kale, I think. The tag isn’t scanning right, so does the checker ask anyone for help? Nope. She just keeps trynig to scan the tag. Then she’ll look up, look at the customers, look at the monitor, and scan the tag again. Sheesh, she must have done this for two minutes. She asked if they knew how much it was, they didn’t know. Then the woman customer says “Gee, this happens every time we buy kale here!” Well for crying out loud, if it happens EVERY TIME maybe you should rememebr how much the shit is so you can TELL THE CHECKER!

Eventually, her boyfriend/husband walked back over to the produce aisle and checked it himself.

Thank you for this opportunity for a mini-hijack.

About a week ago, I was at a Walgreens when this happened. After a minute I put my stuff on the counter in front of the customer and they BOTH grared at me like I was the rude one.

The grocery store is the worst for this.
I mean, come on! You can see that I have fucking ice cream on the God damn belt right in front of you! Do you two think this is some magical ice cream I bought from a unicorn that gets colder the longer it stays out? You and the bagger can make you plans to get "OFF THE CHAIN!!!" later!

Since it was Walgreens, I presume the cashier asked if you wanted any P-Nut Plops, Fudge Plugs, Dinglebrownies, or whatever their shitty candy-upsell-of-the-day happened to be?

No. The answer is no. It was no last time, and the time before that, and it’s no now, and it’ll be no the next time I come in. Now shuddup and ring up my hemorrhoid cream. Oh, and I have a coupon.

I have got to get on over to Walgreens.

I wish the cashiers would save the awkward flirting when it is obvious I’m not in the fucking mood, you’d think you could tell I’ve been up for 24+ hours with pedialyte and other stuff on the belt that indicates I also have a sick kid and just want to get out of here. Please save your “hey baby” bullcrap for someone in the mood.

For you average cashier, this is as annoying to them as it is to you as the customer. I would try to keep it as quick as possible when checking out friends. There are always some people who are so desperate for attention or any type of social interaction that they’ll hold up the line, completely oblivious. It’s very hard for me to end the conversations with them because they want to keep on talking! The majority of the people I’ve encountered like this are…how to put this nicely…not quite right in the head. I’ve had people seek me out, confide the strangest things in me, a person they’ve known for five minutes!

This doesn’t happen as often at my new job, but just last Friday I was cleaning the dining room and one man decided to talk to me for a good ten minutes about politics and choosing Republican and whatnot. I kept inching away but he didn’t really notice. I really need to grow a spine and follow through on walking away, sometimes I feel bad for these people.

The Dinglebrownies are best when they’re still warm.

Do you ever… you know… lick people behind the ear? Because ever since eighth grade with Mrs. Woodrudge who made us read Dickens nothing but Dickens until I scraped the back of my knee with a pencil in the cloak room just to be able to say I felt something that day, I’ve tried to sit behind Gloriosity Schwartz. Spring came early that year, and she pestered her mom until one Tuesday night after youth group she cut Glory’s hair in a short Dorothy Hammil pixie bob. Well, I stared at that neck with the unevenly-shaved stubble until I just had to lean way over and stick my tongue out and almost reach her and over I went, desk and all. It wasn’t until twelve years later that I tried again, this time with a docent walking her retired sled dog team, but that’s a tale for another (cloudier) day. Pixie cuts in the park–gotta run!

Hmmm, if I get asked this, and I reply that I couldn’t find whatever book it was, the cashier usually looks it up on the computer to see if they have it in stock. But that’s in the book store. If I’m in a grocery store or a general goods store, I usually will ask someone while I’m shopping if I can’t find a particular item.

I don’t mind the chatter if the cashier continues to move things along. But once the receipt is handed over, END IT. The other thing that gripes me are the people who can’t seem to have their discount card/credit card/checkbook/cash ready when needed; who wait until everything is rung up and then start fumbling for payment. Same for people getting on the goddamned bus. Have your fucking ticket/money/pass ready so we don’t have to sit there waiting for you to get your shit together.

May I please steal that and use it as my Facebook status?

You pretty much summed up the average conversation from a crazy customer. All you need is me nodding my head going “yep! uh huh! oh, really?”

There was a lady who always came in everyday with a green bag to get the $.10 discount (Kroger’s has since discontinued it.) She’d tell me various stories about how she was getting screwed out of some family settlement or how her alcoholic boyfriend was a worthless piece of shit and she was tired of hiding money from him (while buying him beer. He himself was in the store multiple times a day for beer. Too be fair, at least he wasn’t belligerant in any way.) She’d go on and on in this “I’ve-smoked-too-many-cigarettes-and-now-my-vocal-cords-are-mummified” voice about how woe is me, life is so tough, blah blah blah…And she’d always end the (long) conversation with a wink and a smile. She’d go on and on if she thought someone -anyone- was listening. I didn’t hate her, just hated the long conversations.
One time she actually came into the break room and asked me to use me as an alibi! :eek: Something about needing to hide money from her drunk boyfriend. I was too stunned so I said sure.
I was relieved to get away from all the drama from that one tiny little store. But wouldn’t you know it, guess who moved across the street last month! :smack:

There is another guy who really was flat out crazy. We would do something as little as ask for his Kroger’s Card (mandatory for us cashiers) and he start off with “I don’t like those things, they track you” and degrade down to “I’ve been in jail for 9 months, I don’t want to talk about it” and degrade further down to telling about how he was in jail for assaulting a guy who spit on his wife. “They made me cut my hair!” “Would you let a guy spit on your wife?!” Well I wouldn’t like it, I thought, but it’s not worth going to jail for 9 months! :rolleyes: He had this conversation every. Damn. Time. he came in the store with every. Damn. Cashier that had to wait on him. He was always so angry at the world.
The last time I served him, he was behind another woman, ranting to noone and everyone in particular. God’s crazy, god had crapped on him, god is terrible, god made me (the crazy guy) crazy. What do you respond to that? Of course I was thinking “Yup, you are crazy.” But with our clientele in the area, it was best to keep those desired utterances inside of us. I just kept thinking about how relieved everyone would be once he’s out the door as usual and how much of a nut he was, wondering what type of family could produce such a crazy guy. As I grabbed his food stamp card to swipe I couldn’t help but to see his last name…It was the same as mine. :smack::smack::smack:

a-FUCKING-men.

Now they’ve even got them at the pharmacy. No, shit-for-brains. I’m buying tums and look vaguely green about the gills. What on earth makes you think I want your nasty-ass candy? Stupid corporate drone-speak requirements. I swear everyone in corporate must be an alien or a robot - surely no-one human actually thinks people like having scripts mumbled halfassedly at them in line.

Count me as another person who hates the scripts. I know the person doing it has to do it, so I just go into polite “no thank you” mode and if I get a comment offer I always use it (10 bucks off for an oil change just for going online and filling out a form, I’m up for that). I compliment the store and then complain that as a customer, I don’t like knowing that people have memorized a script.

Oh, you have my sympathy. I got creeped out just streaming it…

(Yeah, I just made it up. Hope that doesn’t lose me any stalkers here)

And, kaylasdad: of course you can use it as your status. But I could do weirder (for your status next week).

Thanks. Done.

I expect the defriendings to begin any minute. :smiley: