I’m trying to hold my hand over my mouth to muffle my laughter. I’m reading this in the library and the guy on my left is looking at me funny.
I was purchasing one item of clothing. As the cashier was placing my item in the bag, a customer behind me started questioning her about the policy on the gift card she was using. While the cashier talks to the customer behind me about the policy she absent-mindedly withdraws her hand from the bag still holding my one item of clothing, sets my clothing down and starts looking up the policy in her computer.
And the looked at me like I was the rude one when I stabbed them both. No I didn’t. But I did say “Hey, can you finish up with me first?”, and they shot super daggers at me. I just needed her to hand me the bag…
You are a bad walrus.
This is really awesome if you “hear” it in Abe Simpson’s voice.
No, I’m sorry, but it is because you are a Cubs fan.
I’m at the register, the internal store phone starts to ring.
Cashier: Hello? He’s on his break. No, I’m covering him. She went on her break before. Yep. Me? I was going to go next. Can Sam cover me? About 10 minutes. No, I don’t know if she’s gone yet. Well what time are you taking lunch? I wanted to go about 1. Dunno. Think he said 12.30. Dunno. When’s Kelly due back? Can you get her to cover it? Yeah. Yeah. Just ask her…"
and just as I’m about to draw in breath to roar “ARRANGE YOUR BREAKS ON YOUR OWN DAMN TIME AND FINISH MY TRANSACTION” he cuts off the person on the other end who was still up for a good long chat and had never even asked if he had customers, and says he’d better go. I don’t know if the look on my face betrayed my thoughts or if he had just barely enough common sense to realise he probably should save this conversation for later, but if he’d waited a millisecond longer I’d have ripped into him.
I just join in on the conversation…makes for an interesting segue into getting my order rung up…especially when they talk gossip about somebody, and I pretend I know the person as well that they are talking about.
I used to try to do this occasionally, if the cashier was pretty, grasping at the slightest chance it would lead to a date.
Yes, I was pathetic.
Thank goodness I’m married now and don’t have to be concerned about things like that.
That sounds like a new tagline - “SDMB - Now With More Social Mutants!” 
Me, too. It’s a lot better being shot down by just one woman.
I had to deposit a check yesterday. Simple deposit into a single account, no cash back. Quickest transaction in the world, no? No.
Teller (fortunately) starts his spiel while finishing my transaction. ‘Here are all the details on a wonderful new product, are you interested? No? What about this one?’
Then he finishes the deposit, puts it all in the container to send through the pneumatic tube, and sets it on the counter and* leans his elbow on it *while he launches into another spiel!
I finally had to tell him I had somewhere to be and I’d look all of that up on the website.
My bank does not have a drive-up ATM in town – they have one ATM on the side of their bank building. I thought it would be faster to use the drive-up teller than going another half mile, parking, getting out and using the ATM. I will know better next time.
New One
I’m in customer service at the supermarket and the CSR is about half-way done dealing with the issue and paperwork. One of her friends wanders up to the counter and asks if she’s going to to the 5 Fingered Death Punch (or something like that) concert. She stops with my transaction and goes over and chats with him for a few minutes.
Actually not the most infuriating thing that has ever happened at a store. The worst was when the vendor rep called me “a fucking liar” and knocked the cookie out of my hand.
That happened yesterday during my unsuccessful Target run (which I ranted about next door in the mini rants). We were halfway through checking every debit and credit card I own to see if I used it to pay for my original purchase, when another cashier came over and started asking about how she wanted to go on break now, but she couldn’t, and they both walked away and talked about what they were going to do on break. Sorry ladies, it looks like you just took your breaks. Oh well.
You gave me a great idea. Pull out my cell phone and crash their conversation.
I make it a goal to never be memorable to cashiers or flight attendants. If they remember me at all, it’s probably in a larger context of things going awry.
Six years later, the OP is still waiting patiently for the cashier to get done yakking and ring up his Jimmy Dean sausage, which has long since dried to a powder. 
Store cashier here. Chatting with customers is part of the job. They usually start it with “How are you today?” Some people just like to talk.
On the other hand, there are people who, after the transaction is completed, will stand there and talk to the person they are with, or on their cell phone, or (worst of all) start texting. If I tell them, “You are all set now” they will often say “I just got to finish this.”
I once had a texting customer chew me out because I asked her to move so I could take the next customer in the long line. She was standing there chatting on the phone and holding her wallet in her hand. She screamed “You could at least wait until I put my things away.” The person behind her said “Well, you should be putting your things away instead of talking on your phone this whole time. That is very rude.” She left, and I said “Thank you” to the customer, who voiced what I could not say.
I use the self-serve checkout anytime there is one available.
BRAAAIIIIIINNS!!!
Variation on a theme.
Lady is getting rung up at 7-11 talking to her friend behind her. OK technically it was Lady … Rando customer … Friend … me making it even more obvious that friend is in line. Even ignoring how much time Lady adds to our waiting since she is not paying attention to the cashier, her transaction finally finishes and she stands next to her Friend to continue the inane conversation. Rando gets rung up. Friend doesn’t move. Cashier calls to her. Friend doesn’t move. Cashier calls to her again. Friend doesn’t move. I lean forward and say, “I think you’re next.” The Original Lady replies, “Oh she’s not in line. We’re just talking about girl stuff.” and they continue to stand in line.
W
T
F
?!