silent rob: Oh sweetie, esoteric equipment and creativity…now I just need to get to Canada…
Fallen Angel: kind of notes? Oh pretty much any kind of notes, I have a few odd phrases scribbled here and there and I like seeing how I can improve them. Not to mention the big soft spot I have for goths with long hair. (hijak: TEN hours and I see mine! does the bouncy happy dance)
Fantasy/Reality: The thread in GD about SMBD was a good place to discuss this serious stuff. One of my comments, that I hold to, is that I am a sub, not a doormat. I talk over what’s going to happen and what I like first, and nothing uncomfortable should happen for either party. People kink different ways, sex is for fun, and no one should do anything they don’t like. Now if I like my SO tying me up and talking dirty, its not non consentual anymore is it? The minute it becomes non consentual its bad and they lose their balls. (As soon as I get out of these ropes…) But until then, worrying other people or no, its my way of having fun.
Heh. I hope you use your IRL name and not your screen name when topping. “Mistress Bunnygirl” is just too tough to say without giggling. It’s like a Drill Sergeant who dots her “i’s” with a heart.
Who said anything about my “approval”? Where did I imply that my “approval” mattered in any way, shape, or form to the actions of others? Why on Earth would anyone care about, or need my “approval”? Is there a serious lack of comprehension here?
Just because some people were attacking you earlier for being “too sexy for this Board” don’t lump me in with them. Why the defensiveness?
I don’t have weird fantasies, mine are pretty mundane. Dire Wolf’s post on the first page, I"d like to be on the receiving end of that one. Other than that the only thing I can think of is a predeliction for men in race driver or mechanic suits.
Please. Don’t be so literal re: the children example. And, IMO, simply not acting on an impulse does not mean a “complete separation”.
What is your real problem here? Don’t tell me how I should post. I am not going to post a handy-esque “I don’t get it” and leave it at that. Here we have a miscommunication - a problem with clarity - and it sounds like you want me to be less clear. I tried to explain. I failed. OK - so now I have people coming after me saying essentially I am mean, bad old Anthracite just come in here to spoil everyone’s fun. This reaction, rather than just, oh, I don’t know - asking me to clarify, seems driven by snittiness more than anything else.
Try putting the post together in context and it becomes more clear:
I’m trying to say that I did not come in to spoil people’s fun - these sex/fantasy/flirt threads are just not that serious. I am trying to explain why I did not understand how it could be pleasurable in any way.
Just like SexyWriter does need any approval from me, I do not need any approval from you. You really come off sounding like a condescending jerk.
OK, since obviously some people have difficulty with this, I will explain, clarify, and elaborate. And if you want to just come in here and try to take cheap shots/score points/whatever, go to the Pit, or I will take you there myself.
I wanted to know to what extent the “rape fantasy” was based on actual rape experience. How close to reality women wanted it. And I did originally want to know why, but realize that:
a) I wouldn’t understand, and
b) It’s not my damn business anyhow.
I don’t care what people fantasize about. In fact, I have some interesting ones of my own. Ever read the stories in the Lesbian Orgy thread? I am not, and did not “judge” or “disapprove” of anyone here. And I don’t have the right to do so even if I did.
I do not believe that fantasy means that one is completely separated - that the person with the fantasy has no urge, desire, or directive to experience the fantasy. I am not saying they would ever act on it. But surely, it seems to me there must be the urge, otherwise where does the fantasy derive from? This is more of a GD issue, and I have neither the research background nor time to back it up. It is my o p i n i o n. So you can go ahead and keep picking on me for it, it does not matter.
Anthracite, the reason you’re getting such harsh reactions is the same reason this thread is so popular.
People have lots of little or big kinks that drive their fantasies. They feel a little worried about them, and it feels really good for them to be able to talk about them in a relatively safe and anonymous environment.
They are already a little nervous about these ideas being out there. I’m sure a lot of people held back a lot because they couldn’t handle everyone seeing that deep inside their sex psyche or whatever. When you ask even a semi-inflammatory question, it’s going to get them riled. they are in a tough position where they are somewhat delicate and defensive. No wonder they snap back when they feel they’re being judged in a place where they are supposed to be able to write freely and safely.
Understand that and everyone should be able to chill.
OK, you started the thread. I’m outta here. Unless people want to keep firing at me some more. I’m sorry I even posted; I really wanted to try and understand something here that I have a great difficulty understanding.
From what I understand, in the rape fantasy, the woman IS in control, cuz it’s a FANTASY. That makes it much different than “real” rape. It’s soooooooooo much different! I can only begin to understand “real” rape, cuz I was able to free myself from it.
Anthracite - I do understand what you’re trying to say, and I do appreciate your concern. (No, not being condescending here, being serious) Going along with what Frannie said, there’s also the element of BDSM with it, and that whole play aspect there.
By my thinking, it’s a game (in some ways like playing Doctor/Nurse or Teacher/Student) It’s just a little rougher than the two examples I named. As with BDSM, in this particular fantasy, there are two things that are key… having a safe word and trusting, implicitly, the person that is participating in the fantasy with you. Someone that you know that when that word is uttered, will stop. My ex and I did BDSM from time to time. We were also in the swinger crowd. There would be times at parties that he would be asked if he would “lend me out” to some of the guys there. I always had final say on that. And I never said yes. Not because I didn’t trust them, but because I didn’t trust them enough for that.
Your posts have made me reconsider something, though, Una. Maybe I need a new name for this particular fantasy. The connotations of it are far too easy to misunderstand.
Yes you did Anthracite, well mine’s anyway. I lost my appetite for this thread after your posts because I felt really insulted and annoyed when you put my submissive fantasy and real rape in the same thought. I find the thought of being raped IRL completely abhorrent. I was surprised and relieved when I saw so many other women with the same fantasy as me, because as Marxboy’s post so eloquently said (thanks Marxboy, well said) its hard sharing fantasies thinking maybe something isn’t right with it, but then you realise other people have the same one’s and its just a fantasy and there is nothing wrong with that.
