You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch--a combination rant and appeal to dress a naked tree

Please note, this has been cleared with the mods.

It’s not looking much like Christmas at the Appalachian Artisan Center, a non-profit group that provides studio space, a retail outlet, and small-business support services for artists and crafters in the mountains. The staff pulled the Christmas decorations out of storage yesterday, and all the boxes were empty. Their tree is there, but some Grinch has made off with the tree topper, the skirt, and every single one of the ornaments, right down to the [del]last can of who-hash[/del] tiny hand-made baskets.

I don’t know what kind of wolves you have to be raised by to not only steal Christmas ornaments, but to steal them from a non-profit. Pretty assholish, unethical, shithead wolves, I guess. The sort who are awakened in the night on Christmas Eve by Santa Claus kicking them in the nuts, though I hate for St. Nick to soil his boot on such loathsome creatures.

The real blow of all this, aside from the loss of almost a decade’s worth of hand-made items by local artists, is this: being a non-profit, they have zero budget for replacing any of this stuff and thus are reliant on donations to have any sort of Christmas decorations at all. The other exhibiting artisans and I are doing our best to make up the loss, but we’ve only got 2 hands apiece, it’s a busy time of year, and it’s a 14-foot tree. We just physically can’t make enough stuff to do this by ourselves in a few weeks.

We need help. All the help we can get.

Please, if anybody can make a little something to send the Center, it would be hugely appreciated. It doesn’t need to be anything fancy or elaborate; they would be thrilled to get a crayon picture glued to a mason jar lid with a yarn loop on top. Any donations can be sent to the address on their website.

When do they need to have decorations by? I make Christmas ornaments but I am in the middle of a move so I’m not sure I’ll be able to make them until the end of next week. Mine are a good size for a normal tree but that tree is huge. Were the missing ornaments on the bigger side?

Hmm. A collective of crafters and artisans and a bare tree… this sounds like a crisis that solves itself.

My thought exactly. How many “artists and crafters” are in your community? As an artist myself, I really have to ask: Isn’t that what we do? Since when are artists some sort of disadvantage minority that needs other people to donate . . . ***art work ***for them?

The sparsely-decorated tree will send a powerful message . . . and make a powerful artistic statement. There will be more next year, and the year after that. Live with it.

Congodwarf, they’re going to go on and put the tree up next week with whatever they’ve scrounged up to that point and then add whatever they get through the season. Whenever it’s convenient for you would be amazing. Thank you so much!

panache, there are currently about 30 of us. Making stuff is what we do, yes, but so is working our other jobs, taking care of our houses and families, filling Christmas orders, making our own Christmas projects, wrapping presents, shopping for and cooking holiday meals, and all the other stuff people have going on this time of year. If you don’t want to help out, that’s great. Threadshitting, otoh, is…well, shitty.

Great news, everybody! After the police report and 2 days of the grapevine treatment, the ornaments mysteriously reappeared. The director of the Center hasn’t said where they were found, but I suspect they showed up in the same building they originally disappeared from. It’s one that the Center owns and is raising funds to convert into more studio space, but right now it’s their unofficial storage facility.

Congodwarf, I’d like to thank you again for your very kind offer to help, especially when you clearly have a lot on your plate right now. You’re truly a dwarf among dwarves.

It’s also kind of shitty, in a year when a lot of people are wondering how they’re going to afford a decent (if any) holiday for their families, and on the day when we heard the news that 1 in 7 American kids don’t have enough food to eat and hunger-solving organizations are going broke trying to keep pace with need, to see an appeal to help solve the “problem” of decorating a place of business. The priorities here are all out of whack.

tumbledown, you’ve made your point. Enough.

twickster, MPSIMS moderator

LOL Aww, thanks! I think that’s one of the nicest things anyone’s said to me on the Dope.