If you’ve or some good pressure built up you could try using farts to propel you on the shopping cart.
I hate the implication that finding farts humorous has anything to do with how grown up you are. I do plenty of childish things for fun. But I’ve never understood the humor of farts. Heck, until this thread, I didn’t know anyone found them funny except in the “Isn’t that gross” variety that is popular with kids.
I don’t see what making a noise, smelling bad, or coming from your butt has to do with being funny. The only part of humor I can see is the fact that a fart in the situations given are unexpected, and perhaps ironic in a high society situation. Not that church is really high society anymore.
But, seriously, your first thought isn’t “That smells bad?” Heck, what type of church service are you going to that has such a long silence that you can hear it? That’s a prayer meeting, not a church service.
“Hey, did somebody kneel on a duck?”
Farts can be funny, but like any other joke, it all depends on the delivery. When a dog walks into a room full of people, farts loudly, and then immediately leaves, that’s funny. Your typical church fart, though, usually isn’t; it’s just something that happens.
Well, there’s that theory that people sometimes laugh out of embarrasment and I’ve seen a number of people apparently do so. In this case I think it’s the funny sound and knowing it comes from a naughty place.
Why do I think it’s a naughty place? Because I’ll bet there isn’t an infant in the world who, having messed his diapers, didn’t at least one time hear whomever was diapering him make some sound of distress automatically imprinting him forever with shame for having such an orifice on his person.
And from that small person impression, being the center of the universe, it’s no wonder that we chuckle with delight when we discover our fellow humans also have a shameful and noisome secret.
Noisome -great word.
I’m good for a bit of shoulder-twitching dignity if I avoid making any eye contact with anyone. Should the need to snort be intense enough there’s always the mock cough with hand held over the mouth to mask the merriment.
I had a brother-in-law who, after letting one rip would intone in a reverent voice, “Speak, oh Toothless One.”
At what moment did said farting commence? Random, or could a fart at a particular moment be construed as a commentary on the celebrant’s sermon?
I might smile or snicker a little, but that’s about it.
Pastor says:“A moment of silence”.
Fart says: “How about NOT?”, and lets loose.
Person thinks: “Oh, God. PLEASE don’t let me laugh!” Then laughs anyway. In a holy place, during a solemn moment.
Fart says: “Yessssss!:D”
In other words, knowing you’re not SUPPOSED to laugh is what makes them funny.
Q
For a 54 year old woman, I am such an 8 year old kid when it comes to farts and fart jokes.
A fart in church?
I would be able to get up and get out of church, but once I make it out, I’d have to leave for the rest of the service, 'cause I’d be cackling like a hen laying a square egg for a good half hour. And sporadically giggling through out the rest of the day.
Add me to the grocery cart ride club.
I was in a full gospel church for awhile. Farts were always accompanied by a hallelujah, thank you Jesus exclamation from within the congregation. I good way of redirecting attention away from the gas release.
Well, not ALL farts smell bad – some of them are just noisy as hell.
Me? I’d be giggling to myself like crazy. Especially if it were the priest.
(Although I disagree it’s funny when the dog has the farts. My dog was farting up a storm a couple of weeks ago. It was bad. Seriously, SERIOUSLY bad. She must have gotten ahold of something on one of her walks. Ugh)
And what fun would that be for the rest of us?
Wow! Options 1 and 3 are running neck and neck!
Q
OMG! That was hilarious, Peter!:D:D:D
Thanks!
Q