You're being held captive by a madman. What fictional detective do you want on the case?

[Malleus_Incus_Stapes]

@Der_Trihs

John Taylor of the Nightside. With a whole week it’s unlikely he’ll fail, especially against a mere cannibalistic rapist; the people he fails with are generally those for whom it was already too late when he started. And unlike Encyclopedia Brown the bad guy probably won’t be in a position to come after me again in revenge. Also unlike Brown he’s unlikely to get eaten himself; it would be a shame to discover that the normal rules of kid’s lit don’t apply in this scenario by finding the bad guy gnawing on Brown’s thighbone. Plus Taylor’s way cooler.

I like the way you think. Though your rescuers are likely to be more disturbing than the rapist cannibal murderer. Razor Eddie, I’m looking at you.

[Miller]

@Gangster_Octopus

Anybody but Jack Bauer. He is very good at stopping bombsa nd torturing folks, but not so much at saving lives (well individually, he is quite adept at saving millions of people).

Nah, Bauer would be perfect. You’ve got a week 'til you’re dinner. Jack solves everything in 24 hours.

[TreacherousCretin]

@Giles

I’d definitely want the best of the best – Sherlock Holmes.

Same here.

.

[C.Montgomery_Burns]

I tell you who I don’t want- Adrian Monk. He’d find me all right, but at the last second. He’d be accompanied by a competent police captain, but also a bumbling lieutenant who might or might not put me back in jeopardy somehow. Then I’d have to suffer the indignity of my captor being apprehended and possibly beaten up by Monk’s nurse/assistant.

[BrainGlutton]

I’d rather take my chances with the madman than be rescued by Mike Hammer.

[Raguleader]

My team would be Batman and Walker, Texas Ranger (Walker can bring his friends too)

What, I have to explain why I want Walker on the team? He was played by a real cop!

[Sitnam]

@BrainGlutton

I’d rather take my chances with the madman than be rescued by Mike Hammer.

Or this Hammer.

[jayjay]

@C.Montgomery_Burns

I tell you who I don’t want- Adrian Monk. He’d find me all right, but at the last second. He’d be accompanied by a competent police captain, but also a bumbling lieutenant who might or might not put me back in jeopardy somehow. Then I’d have to suffer the indignity of my captor being apprehended and possibly beaten up by Monk’s nurse/assistant.

Not only that, he’s bringing a police captain with a history of keeping people in his basement to torture, murder, eat and make clothes out of their skin.

[BrainGlutton]

@Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor

If a single detective only—James Bond, 007. Damned good record, that Bond.

He finds things out, but he’s not exactly a detective.

[Raguleader]

@Sitnam

Or this Hammer.

And especially not this one

[Linty_Fresh]

I’m surprised no one’s mentioned Daryl Zero yet. His insight into human nature and computer skills beat Sherlock Holmes’s half-assed intuition and lucky guesses all to hell.

[eleanorigby]

DCI Alan Banks. He’d find the killer, rescue me and take me out for a drink (much needed by then). See Peter Robinson’s series for more detail. Plus, I’m a sucker for an Edinburgh accent.
If not him, DI Linley and his sidekick Barbara Havers–NOT the TV show (which I thought was awful), but the book versions of both of them.
Golden Age sleuths: Miss Marple, Miss Silver or Alan Grant.

Superhero: Superman or even Supergirl.

[TV_time]

Well, there’s always Honey West!!!

Honey West Open 1965 Anne Francis ABC

[salinqmind]

NYC detective April Woo and her partner Mike (series by Leslie Glass).

I was just going to automatically say Spenser and Hawk, I have complete confidence in them because they follow through, often on their own dime!

But if I’m in California, I would also have complete confidence in Elvis Cole and Pike. Pike is super-human.

(I haven’t read much of Sherlock Holmes, but though I know he could find me, is he known for kicking butt against a dastardly villain? Or would he just alert the constables and let them free me?)

[Landshark]

The detectives from Ed McBain’s 87th Precinct novels.

[Baal_Houtham]

@Skald_the_Rhymer

O Let’s just say that the madman plans to torture, rape, murder, and eat you, not necessarily in that order, but that there’s someone ahead of you on the menu and it’ll a week before it’s your turn in the grinder.

It sounds like my captor is a fusion of Hannibal Lector, Buffalo Bill and someone else (who’s into torture and rape.)

I think it calls for Sherlock Holmes, since Lector is a Moriarity-level adversary.

Unlike a some detectives (Columbo, frinstance) Holmes doesn’t need to talk to the suspect and try to trick him into making a mistake. Holmes can show at my home, examine the floor and deduce where I’ve been taken.

I’m no expert on Holmes, but maybe he never lost a physical battle against any opponent… is that right?

[BrotherCadfael]

Peter Wimsey, Bunter, & Charles Parker, backed up by Inspector Sugg. Then we all go and get drunk afterward.

[drillrod]

My first hope is that CURE decides I need saving for the good of the nation.
I know that Remo Williams and Chiun will find me and leave a trail of bodies in their wake.

[GythaOgg]

Not technically detectives, but I’d want The A Team. No one EVER gets seriously injured when they’re on the job, no matter how many guns and explosions are in play. And their success rate is pretty good…

[Irishman]

I think I’m going to have to go with Charlie’s Angels. They’re smart, they kick butt, and they look good doing it. Plus, afterwards I can hang out with them nursing me back to health.