"You're looking for a sexually ambivalent cherub?"

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

—No, not a bi cupid.

A bicuspid.

Okay, not a bicuspid. Actually, it’s an incisor, but incisor jokes are harder to come up with off the cuff. Specifically, I’m looking for an adult female right permanent maxillary lateral incisor. The one next to the upper very front tooth.

You know those astonishingly lifelike fake skulls/skeletons that modern science has made available to us for purposes both scientific and festive? And, you know how occasionally the teeth attached to said skulls can … er, detach?

Somebody have an upper right permanent maxillary lateral incisor they want to sell me? I’m serious. (Don’t ask.)

I’ll pay for shipping too and will happily give you, say, twenty bucks for one.

I am not trying to circumvent paying some legitimate tooth-related professional a large sum of money. For no such person would sell me a single loose right maxillary lateral incisor.

2

Are you saying just any adult female right permanent maxillary lateral incisor will do?

That doesn’t seem right.

3

Well, yes, I am… any adult female right permanent maxillary lateral incisor will do.

Believe me, you never really appreciate your right permanent maxillary lateral incisor until you’ve accidentally swallowed it.

I mean, I’ve heard that said.

4

If a certain person swallowed the tooth, it will probably pass through his/her system.

5

Yes. It probably did. But, my friend who it happened to was not about to retrieve it and glue it back in my– err, her-- mouth!

So now she’s looking like a hillbilly. And apparently, hillbillies don’t get a lot of action in a sleek urban setting.

6

That’s funny, I lost the exact same tooth! I looked all over for it, but I probably vacuumed it up by now. “Cindy” is not only looking skeletal, but a bit hillbillyish.

I bet I could replace it for less than 20 bucks, though. I think the entire skull cost me not much more than that.

7

Wouldn’t it be easier for your friend to just move to a less sleek urban setting?

One where they are not so hung up on adult female right permanent maxillary lateral incisors or the lack thereof.

I’m just sayin’.

8

tdn: I would settle for a left permanent maxillary lateral incisor, seeing as it’s you.

Or if not, are you saying that you got a bony friend of some kind with convincingly realistic teeth for $20 somewhere? Well… where?

**Mongo Ponton: ** Easier than dentistry, yes. Except, I don’t know if there’s anyplace like that in California.
C’mon — somebody?

9

I had no idea female teeth were noticably different from male teeth.

10

I guess moving to Kentucky isn’t an option? :smiley:
Sorry if I’ve offended any Kentuckian Dopers. I have many friends from Kentucky so I’m not stereotyping.
Actually, I have no friends from Kentucky that I know of, but it was just too good a straight line to pass up.

Ashamed.