, said my Alzheimer’s counsellor to me yesterday, and it felt like she’d just slapped my face to get my attention.
She was telling me and D about a program the VA offers which provides a small stipend for caregivers once I get to a “certain point” of needed care.
I guess maybe she felt that because I’m able to laugh at my disease and joke about it, that this might not affect me, but it had me wishing she’d told D that in private and just left me in my Til Eulenspiegel persona.
Honestly, I DO think about it, especially lately that forgetfulness is getting more frequent, but I think I prefer the “me” that laughs about this rather than the “quaking in his boots” one.
Absolutely nothing against my counsellor, she’s a wonderful person and has been a godsend to us. I’m just wondering if I’m hitting the snooze button on an internal alarm when I shouldn’t be.
I think that if you were hiding your head in the sand and hoping the disease would just go away, it would be a problem, but you’ve been pro-active and you’re clearly making the preparations you need to. In that case, I think it’s perfectly understandable to want to stick with the laughter. I often think of your good humor and perseverance when faced with medical issues of my own - if I can handle them half as well as you, I’m doing well.
Most of the humor is here on the Dope, because I feel I am among friends. On the blog not so much since I talk about my symptoms and the accompanying depression. I just don’t want to give the impression that I’m going “bravely (gently) into that good night”, because I do think about this seriously quite often, already forgetting my grandchildren’s names, wodering when I won’t know them anymore, and missing you guys.
I think the “one day at a time” philosophy is a little harder for us than most.
And thank you, iftheresaway for the kind words. And my thoughts are with you and your own medical issues.
