Ok, you’ve just been hired as a traffic cop, with free reign to roam about town cracking down on whatever offenses you choose. What’re your targets?
Me, I’m concentrating on two main perps:
People who block intersections. If you’re approaching a green light, and you see by the long line of traffic in front of you that you’ll have to stop in the middle of the intersection, you best stop at that green light. If you don’t, when that light changes and you’re left sitting there blocking cross-traffic, I’ll be waiting.
Those taking up two (or four!) parking spots. Ok, I understand that you don’t want your precious BMW Teenyschwantz Roadster to get dinged up. And if you want to take up two spots out in the barren reaches of the parking lot, be my guest (unless it’s Christmas shopping season). But if you think you’re going to park at an angle across two or four spots within 200 feet of the door, then you’re A) getting a fat summons, and B) quite possibly getting keyed.
I’ll spot you 3 minutes with your four ways on, none if they’re not on. After that, you best find yourself a parking space, or your car will be towed, crushed, and mailed back to you along with a ticket.
But seriously, the guy (or gal) who, on parking in a narrow (british) street,
decides that its okay to block the pavement in order to leave the road
clear!!
Buggers!!!
I’d nail people who back up traffic in the normal lanes while waiting in a long line for the left turn lane. Quit inconveneincing 100 people so you can turn left at this intersection. Proceed through, and turn at the next one, or turn around in a parking lot, or something. Same thing for the turnaround lanes on divided highways…GRRR.
Oh, people who drive with their fog lights on when there is no fog.
I’m ticketing anyone who waits for more than two seconds after a light turns green before accelerating. I’m not sure if that’s actually a violation, but that won’t stop me.
Well i AM a traffic cop (kinda) and you’ll all be glad to know that my main hobbies are mentioned above.
I’d still like to do those twats that don’t bother to indicate for pedestrians though. Cos we are all psychic when we’re walking around obviously. :rolleyes:
Some of mine have already been mentioned, but a big “me too” on people who park in fire lanes.
Also-
Anyone who throws stuff out their windows, especially cigarettes.
People who don’t signal their turns until they actually start to turn.
And I know it isn’t illegal in the U.S., but people who drive slower than prevailing traffic in the left lane. If there’s no one in front of you and a line of cars behind you, I don’t care what the speed limit is, you’re obstructing traffic. Get over!
Tailgaiters will be ticketed for their first offese, and shot for the second.
Also, people who see a long line of stopped/slow traffic that is trying to merge, but feel that it is ok to race along the line cars and then cut off whoever they can when they run out of lane. Actually…can I have those offenders shot too?
I’ll never get over why this upsets people. You want to break the law, so I’m obligated to make it easier for you? What, am I supposed to leave my money hanging out of my pockets and my front door unlocked, too? (For the record, I don’t drive in the left lane often, and only to pass.)
If I had my druthers I’d give tickets to this offense, even though it isn’t technically illegal: people who have to pass and get in front of you so they can put on their brakes and make a left turn against traffic. Was it really necessary for you to be in front of me for this maneuver? Would it really have made a gap open in traffic for you?
You shouldn’t be driving in the left lane at all. On a multi-lane interstate, stay right except to pass.
I learned to drive in Montana during the “reasonable and prudent” era- and people still did this, playing - playing junior traffic-cop when the real traffic cops were passing them going 85mph in the right-hand lane.
It’s just a power trip, as far as I’m concerned. And definitely worth a ticket. Impeding the flow of traffic is dangerous to yourself and everyone else. Learning to share the road with other drivers isn’t.
Sometimes I wish life were more like the SMDB. “Don’t be a jerk”
