People who turn right on a red light without stopping first.
People who deliberately impede traffic just to be obstinate. (I would have fake “Jr. Policeman wannabe” badges that I would hand them with their ticket.)
There is a street I drive every day that changes from 2 to 3 lanes at an intersection. Many people move to the right shoulder, abreast of another car in the same lane, as if to make a right turn, but then continue straight into the new lane (this is sometimes called “gutterballing”.) These people would get a big, fat ticket from me.
People who staddle the line when there are 2 lanes in the same direction, and can’t seem to pick a lane.
People who speed up when another car tries to pass them.
People who park SUVs in the compact car space. (Probably can’t give them a ticket, but I’d sure like to.)
None, but at least be polite or as I call it, courteous. You haven’t a clue as to if there’s a future-mom giving birth in the back seat. Just pull over if someone is on your tail in the fast lane. Oh, and yesterday I was in the left lane which was an exit lane. Asshole in lane to the left of me tries and succeeds to squeeze into six feet so he can get in my lane without using a turn signal. I forgot to mention that the lane he was already in also exits. When I get up next to him, I look at him with a “WTF” and he starts yelling at me. I flip him off and make my turn. He moves three lanes over so he can follow me. I pull over and he pulls next to me. He starts yelling and all I say is “you didn’t use your turn signal asshole, you didn’t signal”. I drive away, feeling extremely justified, realizing that the luck of the Ogs has been with me in that he didn’t pull out a shotgun and blow me away. I think you can kinda tell though. There are certain people on the road who piss me off and when I pull next to them and get a look at them, I just avert my gaze and drive on, fuming.
Ooooh, I HATE that. Do you live in San Leandro by Hwy 580? I usually turn on my signal so the assholes behind me know that I TOO want to enter the freeway there. Don’t dare try to race in front of me…you will lose!
I would do this, as well as start ticketing bicyclists who don’t stop at stop signs and anyone over the age of 12 who rides a bike on a busy urban sidewalk. If I were made a cop at my university, I would haunt the area that’s been designated a bicycle dismount zone to accomodate pedestrians. I’m sick of jackasses who either 1) ignore the sign or 2) head onto the sidewalk.
Turning drivers who honk their horns & gesticulate rudely at pedestrians who are crossing legally with the Walk light.
Anyone who stops in, or thinks about stopping in, a bus stop. Anyone who actually parks in a bus stop will be sumarily executed, and their car will be given to whoever is waiting for the bus at that stop.
While I wholeheartedly agree with the sentiment, I disagree with the 3 minutes thing. I’m guessing that “4 ways” means flashers, and I CANNOT STAND people who do something illegal, and put their flashers on like that makes it o.k. Use of flashers should not mitigate the infraction in any way. In fact, I’d give 'em an EXTRA ticket for misuse of hazard lights.
I look at the flashers as sort of a courtesy in this situation. Like if they’re double parked blocking the residential street at my house with their flashers on, for example, with no one behind them or coming up behind them, it could very easily mean “I’m just dropping off Aunt Millie’s cake pan; I’ll be in and out very quickly.” I can look the other way on this (unless you’re blocking me :mad: ). If you might be more than in and out and park that way because you’re too lazy to go around the block and legally park, then I have a problem. Downtown, there is no leeway. I get a wrecker in constant motion downtown looking for cargo.
How do you know the car hasn’t been sitting there all day with the flashers on, or that the person with no flashers on isn’t going to be back in 30 seconds?
I love it when some guy tries this on, and halfway through, the lights flip green, and everybody usually accelerates hard out of the lights in an unspoken gesture of co-operation so that the arsehole meets a phalanx of motor vehicles coming at him when he tries to exit the petrol station, and he has to sheepishly fall in at the end of the line of the very same cars he tried to overtake. Not only does he not gain a few car lengths, but he actually loses a whole bunch.
Truckers who tailgate will find me tailgating them with my blue lights on. I will not just pull them over and give them a ticket. I will check their papers. I will check their lights. If every i isn’t dotted and every t isn’t crossed on their papers, they get to call their boss about how their truck got impounded. If I can find any probable cause to inspect the cargo, I will. If I find contraband, I will be very happy. I will be very polite but will mention that I wouldn’t have pulled them over in the first place if they hadn’t been tailgating. If I get so much as a dirty look from said trucker, I’ll bust them for being disorderly.
If all I am able to do is give them a ticket, I will follow them to the county line and watch their driving like a hawk. Slightest mistake, I pull their ass over again, and go through the whole procedure again. I’m in no hurry, and I’ll take my time.
Also, I’d hang out where people wait in long lines to make a turn, like exit-only lines for interstates. I will look for people who whizz alongside the line in the through-only lane, then put on their signals and try to break into the line near the front. I will break in behind such people and give them the same treatment the truckers got … long, methodical examination of their papers and their cars. Ticket if I can manage it, warning if not. If I find probable cause to inspect their car, I’ll inspect it. Slowly. Thoroughly. Then I’ll follow them for a while and look for driving errors. No disrespectful tones from such people, or they get busted.
I would consider myself an agent of justice.
Oh, I’d hang out by bars late at night and bust drunk drivers with glee.
I was just at the grocery store. As I was pulling out of my parking space, and this minivan that was coming up had stopped to let me out, some asshole went around the minivan and behind me as I was backing out. I laid on my horn to show my displeasure, and he flipped me off. So if I was a cop, I’d go hunt that bastard down and give him something, all right. If there was no applicable ticket, maybe some police brutality.
I can’t believe nobody’s mentioned this one yet: people who turn off their high beams only to reveal a set of maladjusted zillion-candlepower white fog lights or driving lights that are brighter than the high beams. Jail time for those inconsiderate jerks. Why do you need fog lights when there’s no fog anyway?
Bicyclists who think stop signs and traffic lights don’t apply to them should be forced to ride home through a park full of stray dogs. Hungry ones.
People on one-lane mountain roads who go double the speed limit down the hills and half the speed limit going up. If you manage to pass them going up, they’ll either tailgate you or pass you going down. Grrr.
People who leave their diesel vehicles running while they’re running errands, stinking up the whole area and making unnecessary noise get a ticket and a skunk-scented air freshener. For that matter, anyone who drives a diesel car on a warm day when people are likely to have their car windows open.
Speaking of unnecessary noise, anyone who has their music turned up so loud it can be heard a block away must spend three hours in a locked room listening to Barry Manilow at 90db, unless it was Barry Manilow they were playing in the car, in which case they get three hours of Snoop Dogg.
Oh, yeah, tickets and wedgies for the people who drift from lane to lane without turn signals as they weave through traffic.
I just hope all the “I have every right to do the speed limit in the passing lane!” drivers don’t pull that stunt in Utah. It’s against the law to impede traffic in the left lane, and if traffic is overtaking you in the right lane (even if they’re speeding), you can get a ticket.
California, too. People don’t realize that there is a legal distinction between driving over the posted speed limit, and speeding. The Basic Speed Law actually prohibits driving “at a speed greater than is reasonable or prudent”, then goes on to make the presumption, in another section, that if you’re exceeding the posted limit, that you are violating the Basic Speed Law. However, it’s technically possible to argue that one was not violating the law even though one was exceeding the posted limit.
Every section that deals in any way with posted speed limits is carefully worded to preserve this distinction. For example, one is required to stay in the right lane if one is below the “normal” speed of traffic, not the posted speed limit. If you are hanging out in the left lane doing exactly the speed limit, and cars are whizzing past you, you may still be in violation of the law, and are definitely in violation of being an asshole. It is not for you to determine whether other drivers are being “reasonable and prudent”; that is the job of law enforcement.
I always thought the people in the lane were supposed to have the right of way, and that the person backing out of a parking space (you) was supposed to wait until it’s clear.
Yes, but the person in the lane has every right to stop and let the person back out as a courtesy, or if they want the space. I gotta worry about jackasses going around someone’s that has stopped to let me out??
Definitely people who only make clear their intentions to turn once they are at traffic lights or intersection, thus giving those behind them no chance to move into the lane heading straight through.
