No love for the guys on Barney Miller?
Nope. No love at all, especially post #59.
Ah the old one-two.
No doubt. But he does charge large fees.
What we need is a great cheap and fast detective. The fast part leaves out Monk, and Gil Grissom, I am afraid.
Beaten to the punch? Guess I’ll have to off myself in order for Goren and Eames to [del]make out[/del] investigate my case. 
I love the guys on Barney Miller - my favorite show - but I don’t think they ever actually went out and solved cases, that we saw anyway. Perhaps they did. But I also vote for Columbo. These newbies just don’t measure up.
If private eyes count, then like Hook I want Jim Rockford. OK, one or both of us will end up being shot at, beaten up, and so forth. But no matter how tough the going gets, Rockford will see it through. Plus, he’s cheap.
If it’s gotta be a cop, then Columbo wins hands down, for the many fine reasons already enumerated in this thread.
Just one more question… Columbo. He sees through any alibi and is on good terms with the rest of the police force (something that many TV super-cops aren’t).
Otherwise Lt Sledge Hammer, he might not solve the crime, but it would be a fun and distructive experience.
Well, for cheap and fast, you’d need Jim Rockford, Columbo, or Harry Orwell. None of them had great wardrobes or accommodations–they couldn’t have charged that much.
Frank Cannon would definitely be out–fast maybe, but somebody’s gotta pay for those gourmet meals and all the gas he burns in that huge Lincoln he drives for most of the show.
I don’t know about Charlie’s Angels. Maybe Townsend’s rates were quite reasonable, and the team worked quickly. But even if that was the case, would the three ladies really want to be known as “cheap and fast”? 
As for the OP… I’m unsure if he’d be considered a"TV detective," but I’d think I’d want the Equalizer on the case. I think he could track the real perp down easily enough. And then, he’d threaten him or her so much that the perp would voluntarily surrender to the cops just to get away from the guy.
Colombo! Not only will he see the frame up he usually is quick to assure the framed person that they are not a suspect and why. That would keep me from worrying while he tried to get the real murderer. Sparing me teh stress and possible heart failure.
My only hopes are that I don’t get cocky around the real murderer or try to blackmail them or I’ll end up dead too.
I was gonna say the Scarecrow and Mrs. King, but then I changed my mind. Starsky and Hutch. DEFINITELY Starsky and Hutch.
I am going to get so bashed by real Starsky & Hutch fans for saying this, but if it’s Owen Wilson, sure. Drool.
Inspector Morse.
First, he’d assume that Im guilty, and arrest me.
Then he’d interrogate me for ten hours.
Then he’d do a crossword
Then he’d go to the pub.
And seeing the World more clearly through a real-ale haze, he’ll suddenly realise that he’s on the wrong track, and go out and get the real killer.
Mark Fuhrman. You can be standing over the bodies with a machette and a machine gun and you will get off.
Serves me right for opening a thread and then taking a phone call. :smack:
Does NCIS count? Cause Gibbs can figure out who’dunit AND kick the bad guy’s ass, all without spilling his mondo-huge cup of coffee. And he’s purty.
So whom in the 12th precinct do you want investigating your case. I asked for Dietrich; if it were Wojo, you could fry me right then, I was a goner.
I want Andy Griffith That way it will probably turn out that no one was killed at all, plus Aunt Bea will bring me some pie.
If he’s unavailable, can I have Charlie’s Angels?
Bobby Simone. He won’t just do the easy thing, he’ll want to make sure everything checks out. And as long as he’s sober, Andy will do the same.
Harris. I’d be screwed, but it would be in style, and I’d have a chance at winding up in his book, eventually. 
Cheif Wiggum. I’d be out of the hotel and on with my day in a matter of minutes.