It was a nice morning. Having a cup of coffee and talking about the morning news with the little vietnamese convenience store owner as I do each day, looking at the dark sky, I could tell the day was going to be a sweltering one. But that was okay cuz I felt good. One of those “great to be alive at this time” mornings. Like the weatherman said, it would be one of the worst days of the summer. How right he was.
I get to work and things are still going well. Some quick editing here and there and I’m ahead of my deadlines. Just waiting for illustrators to do their thing. Everyone is in a mood to joke and have some fun. Hey, not much pressing at work, wife will be out of town on a business trip for a couple days, hmmmmm… be a good time to take a few days vacation and get some stuff done around the house. In fact, I think I’ll leave at 11 today. Oops, gotta meeting at 1:00 and if I’m not there the planet called earth will implode. 1:00 rolls around and yup, meeting’s cancelled. No big deal. I’ll just screw off the rest of the day.
Ring “Hello, how are you today? I hope I’m not bothering you but do you have a few minutes to talk”? says a silky, sexy voice, with a more than a hint of lust. Hmmm, it’s Kay, the stunning blonde at the sitting service where the kids are, surely calling to come clean and tell me how much she needs me and finally beg for some luvin. Nope, that’s still not gonna happen. Seems our 6 year old son fell down while playing and cut his lip on a tooth. It might need a stitch or two and he really needs daddy, so I gotta come get him. 30 minutes later I get there, very hot and sweaty cuz the AC in my car decided to go to Lake Tahoe for the summer. I walk in, and he is in the back, with new clothing, and a 3/4 inch long gash, through and through, running from his upper lip into his cheek. Like if he’d done it with pruning shears. (They wanted to make it clear that I need to get there immediately, but not alarm me into killing myself on the freeway to do it, which most likely would have happened). Apparently he was running, tripped on the air (he gets his graceful moves from his mother), and for a finale, landed in a headstand using no other support but the left side of his upper lip.
Call 4 medical centers in the immediate area. 3 do not do sutures (I dunno, I didn’t ask), and the other doc doesn’t see kids under 15. Call Urgent care 20 minutes away and they say “No problem, bring him in and we’ll take care of it right away”. The bleeding is pretty much down to “light stuff” by now, but damn… gotta take care of this. We walk in, do paperwork, sit down with him and get some kid books. Even with my occasional inquiries, one hour later, they put us in the exam room. A nurse walks in, bends over, looks at the lip and says “I think we’ll need a plastic surgeon”… Gee thanks genius, I wouldn’t have thought so… I’m just here cuz I ran out of Duct Tape at home. Doc walks in 5 minutes later, looks at the lip and confirms this, thankfully, I might add because I didn’t believe the nurse from Mensa. 30 minutes later he comes back and tells me “I got ahold of the PS. Here are the directions to get to him, across town. It’s a 30 minute drive and you have 45 minutes to make it there before he closes office, so since you’re probably in a hurry, we’ll just send you a bill in the mail”.
I feel a spark in my eye. He sees it and backs up two steps. When I’m upset, I get loud. When I get angry I get really loud. I’ve been told, though, that when really ticked off, (which doesn’t happen often), apparently my voice becomes one that could make Dirty Harry reach for a jacket. That was the voice that came out as we quickly discussed what exactly I would be billed for, and why it took over an hour and a half to send me someplace else after they told me they could do it after a graphic description over the phone. He was actually visibly shaking when I left and mentioned that perhaps there would be no need for a bill. (10 bucks and a bag of donuts says I get a bill from him next week).
Go back to the sitting service, get the daughter, and break a local land speed record (which in this city means damn near Mach II) getting him to the plastic surgeon, who finishes up in about a half hour and did an incredible job.
Now the little guy is very happy, but about to pass out from his busy day, and in mail is my new Outdoor Life so I can learn how to “Catch bass after dark”, and the wife’s Maxim, that promises to teach me how to “Become a Sex Genius”. In a couple of hours it will be time for a drink, and all will again be well with the world as it was at 5 this morning.
So how was your day?