bouv here has taken a strong stand against the zombified undead, a controversy that has long been overlooked by the major media. We all know the evils of cake; its scrumptious morsels of lovely flakiness entice you into eating far too much. But food has always been a hot topic. But the undead? No, Dan Rather just doesn’t have the stomach for it. So let us, the intellectual elite of the world, take a look at this question. We shall pull no punches and make no sacrifices of the truth even to spare the sensibilities of the PC crowd.
The truth is zombies are inferior. Sure they can dance, but when it comes to fulfilling a mission they can only follow simple commands and still have a habit of being distracted, wandering off, and devouring the neighbors. And their constant need to be feed brains can cause horrible logistical problems as well. My last attempt at world conquest was foiled when my entire zombie army starved to death as I tried to move them through Washington DC.
Now I only use ghouls, formed from my own kindred blood, as undead servants. Sure I keep a few zombies in the basement in case a large breasted peasant girl should wander by (the problem with the modern age is that there aren’t enough large breasted peasant girls) but that’s for entertainment purposes only.
No, the Necro-American is a paperback edition of the Necronomicon, but with a Red , White and Blue cover on it. Also, dumbed down to the reading level of the typical, non-SDMB American High School graduate.
Hey, some of my best friends are zombies. I mean, I don’t want them living in my neighborhood, but as long as they know their place and don’t eat the brains of those I love, well, I guess I don’t begrudge them their place.
