zoony, ruining it for everyone...

I’ve been accused of some dumbass shit in my time, but this takes the motherfucking cake.

Recently, I attended a baseball game featuring my hometown independent league team. A good friend of mine is the trainer of the team, and he gets free tickets for the games. I frequently accompany his fiance to games, as I’m a baseball addict, and she likes the company.

On the day in question, we were joined by the trainer’s sister, who is a lawyer like myself (spare me the lawyer jokes, I’m getting to a serious rant here). We were in the good seats, right behind home plate, 2 rows off the field. The PA system down there is pretty loud, and Kris and I were sharing some war stories, when the fuckwad in front of us turns to me and asks us to “keep it down”.

To quote the great Castanza, I was without speech. Here I was, at an open air sporting event, surrounded by 6000 people, not shouting obscenities at the players, not spilling my beer on anyone, just sitting & visiting with a pal, and I GET TOLD TO BE QUIET!! In the 5 seconds I sat gaping at this unbelievable asshole, I realized he was serious. My first comment was “You can’t hear the ball?” to which he replied “that’s right”. By way of closure, I rejoindered with “it’s not a movie, sir.”

Ooooh, but it gets better…

A few minutes later, Mr. Personality gets up and walks to the concourse. He sits down a few minutes later, followed by 2 security guys who walk down to the bottom of the stairs, look at him, then at us, then the rest of the section, then at each other, shrug, and walk away.

For the remainder of the evening, the three of us entertained ourselves by “shhhshing” the crowd when we scored a run, or commenting, “They’re awfully loud over there”. And we went home giving it no more thought. I even asked the beer lady if she thought this guy was from Mars, and she agreed with me - this guy was a kook.

But it wasn’t over…

Fiance and I attended next afternoon’s game, and the guy at the ticket window who knows her asks her what the problem was last night? Turns out that when the asshole went and told on us to security, he said it was the trainer’s friends causing the commotion. Thus, when security was dispatched, the call went out on the radio, and every employee in the ballpark knew about it.

She and I decided to go talk to the GM, just to tell our (the rational) side of the story. Not only did the asshole call security, he FILED A COMPLAINT after the game, saying that we were verbally abusive and CALLED HIM NAMES! OH MY GOD!! NOT NAMES!!!

What kind of a demented, head-planed-firmly-up-ass cockwrench tells people to be quiet at a public sporting event, and then files a tattle-tale lie of a snitch report when he doesn’t get his way? I mean, fuck!

Apparently, he even phoned back the next day to see what was going to be done about the “incident”! There wasn’t an incident, fuckstick, maybe you oughta stay in your fucking basement where the rest of the world won’t bother you anymore!!

Thankfully, the ballpark treated this weasel as the crackpot he obviously was, but I ask you - is this reasonable behavior?

Maybe he just didn’t like lawyers…


zoony - keep it down in the Pit wouldya? I’m trying to read these rants here and you’re disturbing me.

I’m going to have to email a mod if you keep this up.

So did he make up the part where you called him names, or did you just leave that part out when you told the story, or what? Enquiring minds, and all.

The guy probably knew that no-one would take him seriously if he complained about a couple of people talking in the stands, so he had to add that part about the verbal abuse…

Pure fabrication. None of us wasted word one on said pondscum for the rest of the evening.

“Leave that part out” indeed.
Lawyers never leave out relevant information :wink:

[sub]…oops, sorry Frog…shhhhh…[/sub]


I was just noticing how appropriate your sig was in the OP…

Well, you very well may not have been dumping beer on anyone before the jackass brayed; however, after said braying, beer precipitation is called for.

I suppose this would be the other reason I don’t go to sporting events.

Read the OP carefully, he did call him a name

[sub]he called him “sir”[/sub] :smiley:

He stayed till the end of the game??? That is one self-righteous dude with elephant skin. Must of thought of himself as the one good man in Sodom.

Sounds like you guys did right, and if I was there with you, the beer would have been spewing out of my mouth every time you shushed the croud.

Maybe he’s a recovering golf fan?

Not exactly name calling, but certainly not the best way to defuse the situation either.

Sucks that the guy was a jerk. Sucks more that you and your friends had to egg him on. If I was sitting behind you three I would have gotten pissed at the lot of you.

…which would have thereby entitled you to proceed to make false allegations as some pathetic measure of petty revenge?

I can only assume the two of you are related.

Judging solely on the basis of the norm of behavior at public sporting events, I hardly think we can be accused of ‘egging him on’. The abuse I have taken - and meted out - at sporting events, for such behavior as cheering for the opposition or painting one’s corpulent mass of flesh with team colors, are all given in the spirit of the game. It’s not personal nor serious.

If quiet & respectful is what you’re looking for, I hear the cemetery is quaint this time of year…



Whoa there hoss. You lost me with this:

I’m not sure what you are implying there.

You have been contradictory in your description of events. That makes me wonder about the accuracy of your description of events as a whole.

You say:

Yet your reaction

and comments such as

Are clearly directed at this individual. As to the seriousness, apparently it was serious enough to you to require venting in a public forum.

Related? Is that supposed to be some kind of witty repartee? Or do you think I am defending this shusher?
Quiet isn’t something I seek at sporting events. Respect and adult behavior is. Acting childish and being obnoxious is ignorant.

Maybe you and I don’t attend the same kind of sporting events, Hibbins, but respect? adult behavior? If there’s one place in the world that this is not the norm (outside of Congress), it’s sporting events.

My ticket entitles me (even when it’s free) to stand up and boo the opponents, put a hex on the hitter, do the wave, put on body paint, sing songs and even shudder do the “YMCA” should I so desire.

You and I obviously have widely divergent opinions on what constitutes a ‘personal’ attack. If we’d been shhshhhing him, that’s personal. If we’d said “Shut up over there in section Q, this guy can’t hear the game!”, that’s personal. Our comments - which were sporadic at best - were meaningless jibes at a goofy situation. A situation which, I hasten to add, was (a) not defined as a ‘situation’ at all, as far as security was concerned, and (b) was laughed at by the folks beside us and behind us, who had heard the whole thing. So much for splitting hairs.

Regardless of one’s estimation of what constitutes a ‘personal’ attack, responding by filing false accusations against us is unacceptable in any event. I reiterate: no name calling or profanity was used, no personal communications of any kind were made excepting his. Further attempting to cast aspertions on an innocent party (the trainer) is what turned this personal for me.

Childish behavior is one thing - lying about perceived injustices is quite another.

Besides, he started it.:stuck_out_tongue:

Amen, zoony! I was a season ticket holder for the local basketball team for many years, and ganged up with the group of drunken middle-aged women behind me to drive out those who would make us be quiet. I mean, it’s a sporting event, dammit! You have to support your team!
And BTW, we weren’t abusive, just damn noisy :slight_smile:

How has the guy survived so long?

I can’t imagine that at every previous sporting event he attended he didn’t mind the noise but at this one he could take it no more. So presumably he has been going around for years telling people of all races, creeds and violences to shut up outdoors. He’s a very very lucky boy.

Nor do I play one on TV.

But years ago, I used to work near the old Comiskey Park.
I would drive by every night on my way home.
Lots of times I would buy a cheap ticket from a scalper (after three or four innings they go below face value!) and go have a hotdog and a beer and watch the game and most of all, the people. There was never a dull moment and I was always amused.

Mr Fuckwad is simply having a difficult time hearing the game with his head so far up his ass. The sounds of his heartbeat and the peristalsys of his internal organs are causing him much greif, and you compound the problem by making too much noise. Please be a little more considerate.

Also, when you see him again, offer to pay for his plexidectomy (A plexidectomy is an operation whereby a large section of lower abdomen is removed and replaced with a piece of plexiglass) so that he may better view the game with his head up his ass.

What a jerk.

Buy a megaphone for next weeks game. Fart through it into Mr Fuckwad’s ear. And have a good time, which is, after all, the point, right?