Why do men fall for bimbos?

This is in response to the earlier question, the age old lament that women don't like "nice guys." It struck me that if people would answer that, they might answer this. I admit to generalizing, but experience supports my theory that most men will automatically choose to pay attention to the woman dressed most like a tart. I have tested this - by going to the same place at the same time on two consecutive weeknights. I saw the same people, obviously the regulars. On one occasion I was in my usual "coming from work" clothes. On the other, I was wearing something low-cut and just a little too tight. I don't think I need to tell most people when I actually found men talking to me!

I realize that most men eventually sort out the real bimbos, and choose someone with more to offer in long term relationships -- but why do we have to wait through the interim? What are men really thinking when they swarm around the women whose breasts are bigger than her head and IQ smaller than her shoe size?

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You can only be a victim once. After that you're just a volunteer.

Naomi Judd

I don't know if you've ever approached a stranger and put your ego on the line by trying to start up a conversation. It's really scary. Naturally, guys are going to gravitate towards someone who looks receptive.

Well, that and we just like staring down your dresses.

Bimbos, bums, sluts, womanizers, church ladies, overbearing big shots.It's what you go for and are comfortable with. Skinny guys that like fat women usually have fat moms. Skinny women that go for fat guys, I imagine have overweight dads.

I realize that most men eventually sort out the real bimbos, and choose someone with more to offer in long term relationships -- but why do we have to wait through the interim?

The same reason nice guys have to wait while women date a string of losers. At least men have the good grace not to complain about "bimbos".

What are men really thinking when they swarm around the women whose breasts are bigger than her head and IQ smaller than her shoe size?

I guess they're hungry.

Just like a man. Always wanting you to cook for them

(see "Breastfeeding" thread in BBQ Pit)

Actually, it's cause men see better than they think.

The answer is simple, men like pretty women, nothing wrong with that.

The same reason nice guys have to wait while women date a string of losers. At least men have the good grace not to complain about "bimbos".

I can't buy that. I never dated any losers. I never dated at all until I was in my 20's. Recollection (by friends) and records (photos) show that I wasn't in any way repulsive. I was certainly shy and often a smartypants without intending to be so -- it's hard to hide what you know when you are young enough not to realize that other people don't know. As smart as I am, it still hurts that I didn't get to go to the prom - or any dances. I'm considering planning a prom for myself... or is it too late? I guess that's another thread!

On the other, I was wearing something low-cut and just a little too tight. I don't think I need to tell most people when I actually found men talking to me!
I realize that most men eventually sort out the real bimbos, and choose someone with more to offer in long term relationships -- but why do we have to wait through the interim? What are men really thinking when they swarm around the women whose breasts are bigger than her head and IQ smaller than her shoe size?

They're thinking, "This woman who is prominently displaying her ample secondary sexual characteristics is triggering the evolutionary drive in me which was selected for by the fact that beings who enjoy sex more have more sex and reproduce more." I don't think it goes too much deeper than that.

What do you mean, "why do men fall for bimbos?" There's an obvious pressure from natural selection to predispose us to this behavior. A bimbo is (theoretically) willing to have sex with a guy without requiring the typical substantial investment on his part (like having to talk to her for hours, buying rings and presents, sitting through chick flicks with her, introducing her to his family, etc.) The general idea is, "hey, I'll get to have sex with this chick with a minimum of fuss, and then I'll be able to get away like it never happened!" Sometimes this results in a pregnancy and so guys who "fall for bimbos" have a competitive selection advantage over guys who don't. After all, semen is cheap.

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"Who are all you people, and how did you get in my computer?"

Are you defining "bimbo" as a womandressed in a sexually receptive way? Why do you assume this correlates with stupidity?
I like it when my girlfriend dresses a little revealing; she's far from stupid.
If you dress revealingly for someone, you're sexy. If you dress that way for EVERYONE, then maybe you're slutty.

Actually, I like it generally when women display their attractiveness; I don't equate that with low IQ.

Certainly the men in your experiment responded to you more when you went dressed like someone who wanted company, rather than someone who simply stopped in to get a drink after work. Wasn't that just consideration to you?

I've found if you dress and act the way you feel comfortable, you will attract the kind of mate who is best suited for you.

If you tart yourself up in a way in which you are uncomforable, you will probably attract a bunch of people who aren't your type anyway.

Since college, I've just dressed in comfortable, relatively baggy clothing. I certainly clean but I rarely wear make-up or do anything complicated with my hair. I used to get upset because I didn't attract a horde of guys but it occurred to me, would it make me happy if I did? No way. Just being myself, I attracted enough guys to keep me busy and I'm with a guy now who knows and loves the true me. It would be awful if I always worried "what if he doesn't like me as much with these clothes or no make-up...?"

If it's true that men are attracted to scantily clad women because they think they'll get laid, I feel I'm doing something right because these guys don't approach me. I don't WANT a one night stand. I don't want to have to chase off the guys I'm not interested in. These are not my type of guy and I'd only be miserable constantly attracting the wrong kind of guy.

So ask yourself, am I really missing much?

My point is obviously unclear, and I am not optimistic - but I will try. I do not equate a certain style of dress necessarily with stupidity, but my experience has shown that women who dress that way often or always are usually stupid or mercenary. I agree that there is a time when that sort of clothing is appropriate, and I have been pleased to liven things up for my lover at times in that fashion (pun seemed unavoidable.) But the bar in which I did my experiment is downtown, where I made the assumption (perhaps in error) that most people there would be dressed as coming from work and expect that in others. On both occasions I made myself "available" in terms of body language, eye contact and all those things that one is supposed to do to make it clear that I would welcome company. I can't say that I perceived the fact that they ignored me on the one occasion as a courtesy.

I also think the point that women dressed in a certain fashion are seen as more sexually available supports my point: even if it's true, why would men want to have sex with someone when they would have nothing to say after? I except the hormonal impairment (smile) found in the very young. I am talking about men in their 30's and 40's - men who have been known to lament about women who want nothing but money and good times. Men who are reasonably sensible about safe sex, who say they want a family... and cant understand the inherent error in their choices.

I do realize I am generalizing, and that there are perhaps as many men who don't fall for looks and flash as there are women who don't languish after bad boys.

Sassy: May I take to the prom?

As far as the question goes, for guys in genetral, it has more to do with sex than with love. But we have to look at the big picture and the four tires of life. I'm in the process of explaining it to loverock. Here we are dealing with the Love Tire. For a lot of guys, your vehicle of life is a pick up truck.You see where I'm getting? All the tires run a little rough, so your Love Tire works only on simple relationships. Like bimbos.
In my case, I drive a Toyota Tercel, and the Love Tire blew out with my last relationship.So I've been driving with a mini spare for a Love Tire. Needless to say, it does not allow for very lasting relationships. So it's bimbos for me, until I can afford new tires. Then, perhaps, richer bimbos.

But at some point in their life, guys will have to trade in their pick up truck of life and eventually get maybe a Volvo station wagon. And with the Love tire on that, you can expect to practice safe sex, so bimbos are out.

Rich, after you take Sassy to the prom, you wanna take me to mine? Actually, I did go to my prom, but with a male friend, who promtly abandoned me as soon as we walked in the door. I graduated high school 12 years ago but this is something I still think about quite a bit for some reason.

why would men want to have sex with someone when they would have nothing to say after?

I just wanted to read that again The question sort of answers itself, doesn't it?

Michelle: Sure, but do you have a car? Or even an extra tire? That mini spare on my Tercel just wore out.

Rich, excellent metaphors. Were you inspired, perhaps by a line from Springsteen? (pardon the paraphrasing)

"You haven't lived until you had your tires rotated by a red headed woman."

As for the mini spare tire in your tercel that wore out, could it have been just a rebound tire?

As for Sunbears hypotenuese about skinny guys that go for fat women usually have fat mom...My husband and his mother are both stocky people. He is a XXL in shirt a 40 waist and built like a brick wall. She is easily a 1X in a very solid kind of way. The two of them could be linemen for the Lions weighing in at 230 for him and 220 for her. He can share shirts, sweat shirts, and coats with his mother.I don't know many large men who can do that. Now if only he would wear her dresses, we could save a fortune in wardrobe expenses.

I have saved over the years cartoon quips and one that is timeless goes like this.

"I want a woman who raises cain. I just don't want her to raise my children."

Or, more automotivally speaking, " All men want the porsche, but they go with the mini van."

Perhaps men who date the proverbial bimbos do so because they are threatened by women of intelligence, backbone and integrity.

'tis a weird phenomena, I must admit.

My current boyfriend has a bit of this in him. He fully admits his main criteria when he started dating his ex wife was that she was a "10." Not much else mattered to him except looks.

Fast forward fifteen years, and he's starting to see that there's more in life than a pretty face & killer body. But he's still not all the way there. He points out men to me and says "Isn't he great looking" and 9 out of 10 times I'll say "Well, yeah, he's kind of cute, but he looks about as smart as an ape." or "he looks like a complete asshole. I want a nice guy." He looks at me in amazement - as if he's never heard of going beyond looks as a measure for attraction.

Just last weekend, he showed me a postcard with a very muscular man on it. I said "Yuk." He said "What are you talking about? Look at that chest! Look at those abs! You wouldn't like that?"

My answer to that was "That guy wouldn't even go out and have a beer with me because he'd be too worried about getting fat. Vain men, yuk!"

Once again, he was amazed. Sure, looks are important - I don't want to date a man who I don't find physically attractive - but it's only part of the equation. Give me an OK looking guy who's really smart, funny, and a nice guy, and I'll take him over the amazing looking guy who has the personality and intellect of an early 80's Ford Escort.

But you men, apparantly, don't always agree with us women.

Why is your boyfriend trying to point out good looking guys to you Athena? I know if I were doing that, it would just be a weasel way of trying to break up without taking responsibility. Maybe I'm just more weasely than most though.

See this is what I'm talking about. I've been lifting at a gym since I was twelve, and I brew and enjoy my own beer. The biggest guys I know, including some professional bodybuilders, drink beer (though not to excess, true-not enough to get fat). Athena, you are making assumptions about people based on your own preconceived idea of what personality must correspond to what "look". Go beyond this and realize that personality traits are not always easily connected to looks. Neither is a sexually aggressive or promiscuous looking woman necessarily stupid or foolish. Maybe I'm misunderstanding exactly what you all mean by "bimbo".

Can't men can be interested in a woman who at times dresses suggestively AS WELL AS being interested in other aspects of her? We guys want it all (just like you ladies, if you'll admit it). It's simply that the sort of displays we're talking about are immediately obvious and can be evaluated before even "hello". The rest has to come with time. If we want a thousand things, naturally we gravitate towards those whom we know immediately have at least some of them. Don't mistake the difference between necessary and sufficient.

But again, I think maybe you are defining "bimbo" differently than I am.

To Greg:

Both of us often remark on attractive people of the opposite sex. It's interesting to do at bars, and it allows us to learn what the other person finds attractive. Trust me on this, he is NOT trying to weasel out of this relationship. I could go into details, but suffice to say that we've gone through hell and high water to preserve this relationship, and it aint going anywhere.

APB9999:

Hmmmm... you bring up a good point. But yes, I do believe that you can tell some things(not all!) about someone's personality by how they look. In the postcard example, the man was obviously a professional bodybuilder, and worked damn hard to get his body that way. I feel fairly confident saying that he would not enjoy having a few beers with me 2-3 times a week.

I don't think a sexually aggresive or promiscuous looking woman is stupid. I've been both in my time, and I don't consider myself stupid. However, you CAN tell a lot from a person by looking at them. How do they carry themselves? Does he/she walk with confidence and smile, or do they shuffle around and avoid eye contact? There's a ton of things you can pick up from appearance alone.

>>Can't men can be interested in a woman who at times dresses suggestively AS WELL AS being interested in other aspects of her?

Oh, yes, no question. But I think you can put two women in the same outfit, and most people could easily guess within a few minutes of conversation what socio-economic class they're in, a general level of intellect, and base personality type. You don't get to know everything about a person that way, but you can figure out enough to know if you want to date them or not. I think that the original topic of this thread was talking about "bimbos" in the sense of a woman or man who is nothing but looks - no personality, low intellect, etc.

And, btw, I like muscles as much as the next girl. I like men who lift, AND men who can drink beer (jeez, APB, you might be the perfect man!) But, a man or woman who spends all their time worrying about their looks is distasteful to me, and to a lot of other people. I've heard a lot of men complain because their mates take an hour to get ready to go to dinner, then spend dinner talking about all the things they can't eat because they're on some strange diet. Not for me!

Okay, if a bimbo is a woman with no brains or personality but good looks, I retract my objections. And I suppose a lot of guys will go for that on occassion, though usually not to start a real relationship, if the people I know are any guide.

Athena says [q]And, btw, I like muscles as much as the next girl. I like men who lift, AND men who can drink beer [/q]

What if they only lift beer?Some of those kegs can be heavy, but..

There's no easy answer to this question. I have been happily married for 17 years (unhappily for 3 -- just kidding!) and my attraction to my wife hasn't changed, even though we have, physically. When we met in college, we were both a lot thinner and in much better shape -- hell, we were only 19. Now that we're 40, and our bodies are heavier, saggier, grayer and more calloused and lumpy, we're both glad that the physical attraction was not the only thing that brought us together. The fact that we share common interests and genuinely like each other as people still allows us to see the other as the person we married.

On the other hand, physical beauty as an attractant can not be discounted. As noted throughout this thread, men seem to notice and appreciate physical traits more than women -- even physical traits of men, and it's not surprising that they would assume women would be attracted to a well-built man. Men appreciate visual stimuli when it comes to sex, and women don't (which is why magazines with nekkid ladies in them proliferate and magazines with nekkid men don't). Maybe we're just genetically coded to be this way.

I know this to be true in my case. Consider me a pig, figure I'm shallow, whatever. My head will be turned by an attractive woman, and if she's wearing something revealing or which otherwise showcases her feminine attributes, so much the better. It doesn't mean I can't appreciate a woman who has a mind (my wife is smart, funny, well-read, edumacated, etc.). But dammit, I like to see a purty gurl! I don't necessarily want to reproduce with them, but it's nice to see beautiful things. Fortunately for me, my wife understands this, is confident that I'll still be sleeping next to her every night, and is secure enough to actually bird-dog them for me. Not that she sets me up, but she's not above pointing out a nice-looking girl for me to see.

And Sassy, two things for you to keep in mind:
1) Everyone knows you'll sell more goods if you advertise more.

2) I happen to think women in "professional" or "business" clothing can be extremely attractive...even downright sexy. It's not just showing some leg or cleavage, it's a combination of looks, brains, confidence, attitude, etc. that makes a woman sexy. At least to me.



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The Dave-Guy
"since my daughter's only half-Jewish, can she go in up to her knees?" J.H. Marx

I'm with Dave on this one. You are first attracted to each other by looks and then you discover the contents. If all you have in common is fabulous abs and great hair, well, they are both gonna be gone or gray eventually.

Having common interests and beliefs and a sense of humor is crucial for a relationship to work.

Any man or woman who "falls" for the bimbo or its male counterpart gets exactly what they deserve. It all comes down to what you value, doesn't it? Besides, you don't want any of the guys that are after "bimbos" any way.



My sixteen year-old son has been complaining to me about a friend of his that talks about finding a girl that he can "go out in public with." Very sad. be mindful about the values you share with your children, since whomever they mate with will be coming over for all the major holidays.

[Markxxx]

Men like women with past 'cause they hope history will repeat itself.

[sunbear]

Never mind the bimbos anymore. Why do women fall for charming bums? The musician/artist/wacky enterpreneur/other with no steady income.

[E1skeptic]

Why do men fall for bimbos?

Why not?

Kidding!!!!!!

[Persephone]

To Sunbear:
I fell for one of those "charming bums," a musician, in fact. We've been married for almost four years. No, he doesn't have much of an income. But I do. Why do some people think that if the wife works & the husband doesn't, he's a leech, but if it's the other way around, it's "traditional"? We did not marry for money--we married for love. We've got a 2 year old & one on the way. He's a stay-at-home dad, and he loves it. And I love him for it.

BTW, I bird-dog for him, too...just 'cuz it's funny.

[sunbear]

OK,the charming bum has more potential. Guys don't hook up with bimbos for the long run, at least that's not the plan.Often there is no plan.
Of course the charming bum may turn out to be someone who later needs a restraininig order.

[Markxxx]

Charming bums (or is it bumb) [anyway] are like due to the rescue syndrome.

Women like men who are helpless. Not that I would know.

[elbow]

Take a good look at your spouse, every characteristic they possess is a reflecetion of what you value, whether you choose to see it or not.
If they are successful and wealthy, don't kid yourself that's something you value. If they are a physical trophy, the same applies. We would all love to attribute these things to happenstance, but not so. Similarly, those things that drive you crazy about your partner are actually reflections of issues you have. These are both projections and valuable learning and evolutionary opportunities.
Don't you find when you meet a couple where one is an intelligent being and the other a beautiful physical speciman, but smart as a bag of hammers, don't you find that you instinctively jump to the insight that for all their intelligence they have issues, are flawed. I think you'll agree we all do this.

[Stoid]

Sunbear:

Regarding fat women and skinny men: considering the number of women who at least become fat if they didn't start out that way, I think your theory blows.

Perhaps skinny men who like fat women just like fat women? Perhaps they don't like fat women specifically, they just like women in general and the one they like best of all happens to be fat?

I'm fat, and the women my fiance takes notice of seem to almost always be slim. Yet he loves me, no one else. He has no issues with my weight, other than concern for my health. He would be pleased for himself if I were slimmer, but has stated repeatedly that his love and desire for me are in no way dependent on my weight. He loves ME.

And yes, he's skinny. Way skinny: nearly 6 feet tall, 126 pounds. Maybe he just likes the fact that I feel all nice and cushioned. I have wondered sometimes how pleasant our lovemaking would be if I were as skinny as he is. I imagine lots of bones bashing into each other...

Oh, by the way, his mom is a delicate little rail, and always has been.

Stoid



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Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures...Remember, when
someone
annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown BUT it only takes 4
muscles to extend your arm and SMACK the person right upside the head.

Sassy: Keep in mind you tested your theory in a bar. People go to bars to escape the daily drudgery through drinking, flirting, etc. Most are not there to choose a life-long partner. I realize that sexually attractive women get extra attention out in the real world, too. We are visually-oriented creatures. That's not good or bad, it just is. Pretty is nice. The more intelligent and sensitive among us have other, more important, criteria. On the flip side: I used to gnash my teeth over the fact that so many gals went for the arrogant, shallow, abusive, or stupid types. Then it occurred to me: Why would I be with someone who wanted a guy like that?

[jens]

It is really not so hard to pretend to be shallow, arrogant, and abusive. Stupid is a little harder (you have to watch yourself continuously), and hardly worth the trouble. Most women will settle for one out of four, so if you just brush up on your arrogance you should do fine.