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#1
08-25-1999, 08:30 PM
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I just finished reading the "I just cheated on my wife" thread, and noticed the negative reaction some people had to the fact that Ferrous met the 'Other Woman' on the Internet, instead of at work or somewhere more 'normal.'
I know about falling in love with someone that I met over the Internet from personal experience. That's how I met my fiance :-) My situation greatly differs from Ferrous' though. We were both single when we started chatting (well, I was mostly single  ) and there were no children involved. We met in AOL's Horror Chat room, discussing Halloween H20, and started out as friends. That led to many hours in front of the computer, which led to many hours on the phone, and that eventually led to him driving 207 miles to meet me.We've been together for nearly two years and engaged since Christmas. You'd think that by now people would get over how we met, but they don't. Friends still tell me that they can't believe I met him in a chat room, how could I have a complete stranger (he wasn't a stranger by the time we actually met face-to-face) come to meet me, etc. We also have a long distance relationship (not too long, only 4 hours by car), and that will usually lead to the inevitable question "How did you meet?", which is why I have to continually explain how, exactly, we met. I guess what I want to know is this: Why is so unbelievable to some people that two people could fall in love after meeting online? Has it happened to you or someone you know? Why is there such a stigma attached to online romances? Oh, I've heard all about the Horror Stories, and my answer to that is that date-rape and murder and the like all existed well before the Internet. How different is it from meeting someone at a bar, exchanging phone numbers, talking o the phone for a while, and then meeting for a date? ------------------ "I wore an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time..." 
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#2
08-25-1999, 08:46 PM
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Thanks Blue, for speaking up. I also was surprised that people assume that if she'd get involved with me online she's automatically an "Internet skank."
Although I admit I was midly flattered by kellibelli's preoccupation with my dirty dink. For reasons obvious I didn't give the play-by-play of nearly a year of chatting and telephoning. But to have feelings of love that develop out of endless hours of open and heartfelt communication with someone who makes you happy, not dirty cybersex as some may infer, and then to meet same person in person, Well, there's something to be said for that.
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#3
08-25-1999, 09:03 PM
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The future Mr Twylight likes to remind people that during World War II, and other wars, there were many couples that wrote to each other and fell in love before ever meeting face-to-face thanks to the 'Dear Any Serviceman' campaigns of the times. I'll bet there are many couples, now married over 50 years who met that way during WWII. I know the world was a different place back then, but love and falling in love don't change with the times, only the circumstances do.
I hope all works out for you Ferrous, whichever path you choose. Blue ------------------ "I wore an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time..."
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#4
08-25-1999, 09:15 PM
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Ok, I admit it. I met my girlfriend on the internet (IRC) and I suppose that it's nothing I'm especially ashamed of. I'll spare you all the story of us meeting (we met, we talked, time went by..etc etc) and just go with saying that I don't think our relationship would be any better had we met in a bar or wherever. However, a lot of people equate Internet=Computers=Pasty Faced Geeks so saying you met someone online like saying "I'm a loser and couldn't meet anyone in a dimly lit bar, so I had to meet them on a dimly lit computer."
For the record, I've had lots of non-Internet related girlfriends and I was as suprised as anyone to meet someone there. But then again, I'm not complaining either ------------------ "I guess it is possible for one person to make a difference, although most of the time they probably shouldn't."
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#5
08-25-1999, 09:31 PM
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I think in the case of Ferrous, the reaction was bound to be negative because he's married, and don't think it would have mattered if he'd met her in a bar. Perhaps the anti-online romance stems from the fact that this is happening a lot to married people - wives too; they don't go out to bars or frequent any place where they're apt to develop a romance; but they get in a chat room and, hey, this person's interested in me - how exciting. It's someone new, a fantasy, and they get caught up in it.
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#6
08-25-1999, 10:49 PM
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I met my boyfriend of 3 years online on a MUD. There was a large group of people who were close friends and had met each other in person. When I started getting involved with Steve (I'd known him as a friend for a couple of years before getting romantically involved), I checked around with people who had met him previously. They all said he was a good guy. I got the same impression while talking to him online and over the phone. We met once for a week and then I invited him to come to Australia with me. Everything has gone really well.
The guy I dated before Steve was the equivalent of "love at first sight" on the internet. We just hit it off VERY well automatically. I dated Robert for 2 years. It didn't work out but he and I are still friendly. He's a wonderful guy but we just weren't meant for each other. Before Robert, I dated guys who I met in person. While I was in college, an internet romance was ideal, in a way, because I'm extremely serious about my education and, that way, I had more time to study. The guys I met online never made me feel as guilty about spending so much time studying as did the guys who lived near me.
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#7
08-25-1999, 10:55 PM
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I had a few sexual conquests from folks I met on the net, and could have more if I wanted - There are a lot of lonely people out there. I was one of them after breaking off from my wife, and I didn't reacte particularly well to this...
Despite this, I hooked up with a girl from Michigan who I have seen three times now. Sure, there was mind-blowing sex. But I also have developeed some real love feelings for her, and I'm not ashamed to admit this. I anxiously await us being together full-time. There was a time when people would derisively say, "You met your girl/boyfriend in a bar?" That seems fairly accepted now, as will the internet. Just give it time. In the meantime, I don't care what people say about me and Heather (Michigan girl) as it doesn't matter at this point where we met, but where we're going, and I really like that direction. Plus, the internet is a great way to communicate cheaply when dealing with distance. ------------------ Brian O'Neill CMC International Records rockuniverse.com/cmc/cmc.html ICQ 35294890 AIM Scrabble1 Yahoo Messenger Brian_ONeill
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#8
08-25-1999, 11:24 PM
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Been there, done that. Doubt I'll be doing it again anytime soon. My experiences have been mixed. I've met and dated one great guy, one good one, and one complete loser. I will not, however, judge other people if they determine they've met the person of their dreams online. To each his or her own.
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#9
08-26-1999, 12:18 AM
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Surely it is better than trying to get to know someone by shouting over loud music in a dark, smoky bar while each of you is more or less intoxicated on one or more chemicals.
Yikes. Anything beats that.
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#10
08-26-1999, 06:06 AM
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But how many first meetings withe the actual internet pal were disappointments?
This discussion, of all sorts of personal relationships, net or otherwise, would need a new forum.Hardly Mundane Pointless, when it gets this serious. Of course from a Cecil point of view, this everyday stuff MAy me mundane pointless, and there is certainly a Need to Share. Aside fom these serious relationships, I do get very curious about the lives of mayge 10 people on my other board. When somebody, an older guy with health problems, just disappears, you assume the worst. he never gave us an e mail address (the board does not demand one, so the administrator does not have it).
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#11
08-26-1999, 06:47 AM
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I am glad the dirty dink crack gave you a chuckle....yeah, unprotected sex with a stranger is a real hoot. I just hope your wife doesnt get aids.Now that would be a real laugh wouldnt it......
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#12
08-26-1999, 08:34 AM
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I met a guy over the internet on AOL in a chat room. We began chatting a few hours every night then started talking on the phone a few times a week. We then decided we wanted to meet each other and take things to the next level, so we did. This relationship lastest for about 8 months. There were many differences between us and being 4 hours apart caused a lot of problems. He was a city boy and I'm a country girl. I wanted him to be with me every day but it was impossible because of the distance. We finally decided to would end the realtionship and move on with life. At first it was very hard because we were so used to getting on AOL and chatting the same time every night, we had a little routine going. I blocked him from my buddy list so he couldn't see if I was on AOL and I couldn't see if he was on. It's been about a month and a half since our relationship ended. We still email each other every once in awhile but we have not talked on the phone or chatted. I will admit it's been very difficult but I have since met the man of my dreams and very happy. I will never regret meeting someone over the internet and having a relationship with him. We can say we tired and that's all that matters. I do not think there is any real difference metting someone over the internet than a bar. There are "bad guys" anywhere you go.
I wish all of you luck and happiness and you find your true romance. ------------------ People will forget what you say. People will forget what you do...but People will never forget how you make them feel.
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#13
08-26-1999, 08:37 AM
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No need to leave the house anymore to meet jerks! (of both sexes, I'm not being sexist here)
------------------ I prefer rogues to imbeciles because they sometimes take a rest. Alexandre Dumas the Younger (1824-1895)
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#15
08-26-1999, 09:41 AM
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My day is made just by the fact that Satan has a girlfriend named Heather. "I'm the Lord of the Underworld . . . Oh, and that's Heather."
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#16
08-26-1999, 10:16 AM
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Speaking only for myself, I do not want to be seriously involved in a long distant relationship. If it were to involve into something deeper, the miles become a huge problem.
I would not be willing to give up the security of my career, my home, my life, to pull up stakes and move across the country. I also would not leave my kids nor would I take them away from their dad. On the other side, I don't want to begin a relationship with someone who gave up everything (including his job) to start over from scratch with me. I may be selfish, but I don't want to carry someone while they re-establish themselves. Last but not least, I enjoy sex to much to limit ourselves to the far and few between rolls in the sack. Having said that, I will admit that I have meet many online friends face to face and I wouldn't change that for the world. - A couple of years ago I participated on a local message board with a religious theme. There were about 20 regulars and between the fanatics and the hell-bounders (guess where I fit in) we made the BBQ Pit look mild. One day someone suggested that we all meet at a park for a picnic. Everyone was a little nervous because of the heated flame-wars, but we all showed up. All differences were put aside and we had a total blast. We had so much fun in fact, that for the last 3 years we all get together on a bi-monthly basis. They have become some of my best friends and even though our flames wars continue, we are able to be friends. - Two and a half years ago, I received an e-mail from someone who liked my profile on AOL. I was reluctant, but we started up a correspondence that turned into friendship. We could not have been any more different. He is an very devote Orthodox Jew, runs a large legal firm, and lives 2500 miles away in New Jersey. Although we have a lot of differences, our friendship continued to get deeper. About a year after his intitial e-mail, he flew to meet me. He began flying to my home every other week (not a problem when you are wealthy) so we could spend a lot of time together. In spite of my beliefs about long distant relationships, things started to progress into romance. He began teaching me things about his religion and although I find it fascinating, I will not convert to a religion unless I can do so with total faith. His religion dictates a spouse of the same religion, so we have had to slowly take things back to a friendship level. He remains someone very special to me and I can say with all honesty that he is probably the kindest person I know. - I was trying to find a particular Pink Floyd screensaver but wasn't having any luck. I decided to go into a PF chatroom (I DESPISE chatrooms, but I was desparate). Once there, I began chatting with a fellow Floydian (he was also from New Jersey) and a friendship was born. He flew out to meet me about 10 months later. We hit it off immediately and although we just met in person, we felt as if we knew each other very well. The free-spirit that I am (some swear it will catch up to me some day) suggested that we load up my car, put the top down, and hit the road for a week and a half - just the two of us. We traveled through southern Utah (Bryce, Zions, Canyonlands) then onto Lake Powell, the Navajo Indian Reservation, the south rim of the Grand Canyon, and ended up in Vegas. We didn't make hotel reservations, didn't have an itinerary, no place we had to be - we just went. It was a wonderful experience that I won't forget. We have remained very good friends and if he were closer, I am sure that things would become deeper. - I still have online friends that I have not met in person - yet. Just as soon as I get my shit together enough to plan a trip to Disneyland, I plan on stopping by Melin's. If Bob (Big Iron) ever takes that trip out west, he knows better than to not stop by for coffee. Me and Stevicus have talked about meeting in Vegas. Another friend in Montana will be tranferred by his employer to Utah soon and plans have already been made to meet. The internet may be full of freaks, but true friendships can and do happen. I would hate to think that all of the friendship I have made might not have happened if I had been closeminded. ------------------ >^,,^< KITTEN Coarse and violent nudity. Occasional language.
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#17
08-26-1999, 05:45 PM
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ok this is satans lover Heather
 I wanted to reply to him and tell him this...Brian I love you with all of my heart. we will be together no matter what may get in our way. we continue to learn about one another after every passing moment.lol and we still like one another! thats great!I also have had my share of Internet sex lol (great huh)and internet relationships.meeting all the wrong people at the wrong times. I luckely was not married as Brian was (thank god!! sorry Brian) But I still got my fun in while it lasted..but that gets old after awhile and when i met Brian.....he made me WANT to date him exclusivly. talk about fire works when we first met. wow. and you know what? every time after that I have them. the Distance is hard as heck dont get me wrong here. and sometimes I even feel like giving up on the whole thing. But I know i cant. because this is something that is way too special to me to let it go. so anyway, those of you that might not want a long distance relationship nor might not want to meet soemone off the net..you might be missing out on a great opportunity. you never know.. you should never limit yourselves. and Brian...I love you baby forever thank you for coming into my life..and thank you for staying in it ------------------
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#18
08-26-1999, 07:35 PM
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I met my wife online. Technically, it wasn't the Internet; she was and still is the sysop of a BBS (remember those?). We didn't have anything special going when we were just sending e-mail to each other. But then I attended a get-together she hosted for members of the board who wanted to meet each other. Well, as soon as we met in person, it was love at first sight. We've been together ever since that first meeting.
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#20
08-26-1999, 09:57 PM
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Diane: you remind me of someone on another board, I relly have to get my mouse working better to scroll down the whole short story you wrote. Yes, the discussions can get a little out of hand at my other board. People wonder off for weeks. One member insists on debating against me and several others no matter what the topic. I have figured this out long ago, so I never am surprised she disagrees.
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#21
08-26-1999, 10:15 PM
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lol Pooch thank you. I do like to believe that him and I are a match made someplace... heaven or hell lol. but maybe I will change my handle
never know
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#24
08-27-1999, 08:43 PM
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I just read heatherlee's post in the "What to do with a dead body" thread. I just have to say that she sounds like a perfect match for Satan
 I don't have any problems with internet romances - it's probably about the same risk as meeting someone through a classified ad. If it ever happens to me, I won't get serious until I see them in person a couple of times; but I won't discount the relationship just because of where I met someone. BTW, anyone interested?
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#26
08-27-1999, 09:57 PM
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I met my husband on the internet, years ago. I think the reason it worked for us, is because we were honest about everything, and there were no surprises when we met in person. That, combined with the fact that the internet lends itself to deeper conversations is what made it happen for us. We got years of dating out of the way with the endless, and I mean endless hours of talking.
trisha ------------------ He who joyfully marches in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice - Albert Einstein
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#27
08-27-1999, 10:57 PM
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Damn Zyada, I was gonna hit you up! But since you're so narrow minded.... all I can say is, "Bummer!"
The sweetest flower you cannot pick, Satan going mushy makes me sick, Be still my heart, hope I don't fart, Pulling this off is still a neat trick! Yeah, lame but I'm pressed for time. Anyway, Satan and Heather you won't believe this but my sister is named Heather and this is a limerick I wrote for her about 13 years ago: There once was a girl named Heather Who wanted to be light as a feather she ate only beans for she wanted small jeans But somehow she got into leather! Hope it works for you! ------------------ The moon looks on many flowers, the flowers on but one moon.
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#28
08-28-1999, 01:04 AM
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well I guess you could say satan and I are the perfect match..we are both demented enough to love on another lol....but honestly....I would never change my Dear Satan....and if I did it would only to be to love you more......(what did you say about the mushy crap...puke?? lol)
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#29
08-28-1999, 01:07 AM
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zyada BTW......why dont ya send my dear friend an e-mail he is single and the biggest sweetheart
His screen name is cygnusxb2 on AOL
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#30
08-28-1999, 01:36 AM
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I believe I need to clarify my position. I gave a generalized statement in the Cheated on my Wife thread that isn't a fully accurate statement; obviously, there are many successful internet romances out there. My boyfriend and I met in college, were friends in college, but frankly fell in love online. I was speaking more of Ferrous' sitation, as another has already mentioned in this thread--fantasy seems more likely there simply due to his circumstance.
Regardless, I have to say I have a huge, huge, HUGE beef with the random, rude, and recently pushy men who IM me at random with some sexual offer. It's one thing if I'm in a chat room; being IMed is pretty much expected (I see that as the equivalent of walking in a bar--you can expect interaction, and to get hit on). But, when I'm online doing research, minding my own business, and some punk pulls up my profile (and apparently doesn't read it very well) and tries to hit on me...well, I've stopped being nice. I've eliminated my age and specific location from my profile, and I even put "I don't cyber. Give up now." by my name. For marital status, I wrote "Taken." For hobbies, I included mocking horny IMers (which may be an invitation in and of itself--may have to take it off). That just made them more aggressive than ever. When I tell them I'm not interested, they get insulting; when I get insulting, they say *they're* rejecting *me* and boy, what I'm missing out on! ...I've kept the most bewildering (and amusing) IMs if anyone is interested. Heck, I may copy and paste them here. They're incredible. These are the guys that I want to take straight to the BBQ Pit (I'm serious, I'm cheesed off enough by some of these guys that I want to start a thread about moron IMers there). I have no mercy for them, however counter it may be to my Christian ideals. I tell them they are pathetic losers who have resorted to the internet for obvious reasons--because in those cases, they are. P.S. Oh. My. God. I just got a random horny IM. What the hell is with the timing of that? Here's the cut and paste (names changed for his stupid sake): ***: hello ***: how are you doin tonight? Lrconaway: Uninterested.
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#31
08-28-1999, 01:41 AM
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PPS. Okay, that guy was cool. I apologized for my blunt rudeness, and he was not a horny little freak like the others I've encountered (although he was flirting). He took it all in stride. His timing just couldn't have been worse.
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#34
08-28-1999, 05:16 PM
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I have no problems with Internet dating either. I've met two of my best friends over the Internet, and dated one for about a year before the distance got to him. *sigh*
So I'll get behind zyada in line - any *men* interested? (I know, byz - I'm so narrow-minded...)
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#36
08-28-1999, 07:43 PM
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I do agree with the way some men are on line. altho I do have fun with it cause I mess with them badly. after that they never mess with me again. I guess you just need to know how to handle things like that. Not saying some of you people dont, but there are some out there that freak out if someone says something they feel is degrading. me on the other hand I have a web page that basically people feel I hold out my hand for them to IM me and ask to have sex or whatever. hell I have had people IM me before and ask me if they could meet with me THAT night to have sex, after sending me a full nude of themselves. I usually get a good laugh out of it, and then rip on them. lol if I could only see thier faces when I ask them why their dick is so small. oh well. so I guess by being on the net you have to take the bad with the good. men wanna Im you ladies and act like pigs? let them. it can be fun. you feel they are degrading you? well degrade them back
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#38
08-29-1999, 11:32 AM
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When you meet someone in a bar, it's not easy for them to lie about how they look.
Looks seem to be the big thing people on the net are lying about, that & age. Those are things that you kinda can see if you meet someone in person first.
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#40
08-29-1999, 08:05 PM
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Thus spake LauraRae:
Quote:
------------------ Tim "My hovercraft is full of eels."
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#41
08-30-1999, 12:10 AM
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Okay, gang...here is a recent random IM conversation I had with a dork who just wouldn't take no for an answer (and also had to have the last word). It's a bit lengthy, but amusing. And dangit, to be courteous, I left out most of the loser's s/n. But if anyone wants to harass him for me...
GQ***: Hi, there Lrconaway: LOL! "GQ***"?! GQ***: yup, that's me Lrconaway: well, I'm glad you think so highly of your looks GQ***: thank you GQ***r: what does your screen name mean ? Lrconaway: nothing so clever as yours, oh GQ one GQ***: oh, well good try then Lrconaway: No, I'm afraid I never could match your brilliant wit (and spelling) GQ***: no one can't, it's ok though Lrconaway: Now I must ask--my profile says 1) I'm taken GQ***: oh GQ***: is it serious ? Lrconaway: 2) I like to mock the horny teenaged (if only mentally) boys that IM me GQ***: who says i'm a boy ? Lrconaway: yes, it's serious...did you read my profile? Lrconaway: Let me just call it instinct GQ***: you got a bad instinct Lrconaway: Yeah. Sure. GQ***: You know you are horny Lrconaway: No, now see, that's where you've confused me with you. GQ***: no, you are Lrconaway: Why do you persist with me? You have zero chance, Turbo. ZERO. GQ***: Are you sure Lrconaway: Go find someone who's actually interested in playing this ludicrous game. I'm not it. Lrconaway: How many different ways do I need to tell you? Lrconaway: It's called REJECTION. Lrconaway: Shoo. Go away. You bother me. GQ***: what does that mean ? GQ***: ok, but you were bothering me Lrconaway: LOL! GQ***: you are missing out Lrconaway: ROFL!!!!! GQ***: you want me Lrconaway: No, just your penis. GQ***: i knew it Lrconaway: Severed and stored in a jar of formaldehyde in my pantry. GQ***: you want me that bad Lrconaway: Naw. But I would need to buy another baby food jar to store it in. Lrconaway: Now, how thick are you? GQ***: no, but i don't think you have a big enough pantry Lrconaway: And I mean intellectually, Pee Wee Lrconaway: It's most apparent you're not the brightest bulb in the box. GQ***: don't you mean Moby Dick Lrconaway: Is this why you resort to online services to try to get any? GQ***: nope GQ***: and you ? Lrconaway: Are you so lame that you can't go out into the real world and meet a real woman? GQ***: i did Lrconaway: Not only do you have no idea what I look like, you have no idea what I think like GQ***: and you ? Lrconaway: You have resorted to fantasy and images that you mostly create. I am part of reality. GQ***: well i got to go now, bye GQ***: don't miss me Lrconaway: Go on. No, I don't think I will. Hope life gets better for you, Sparky. GQ***: Ditto ------------------ "Me fail English? That's unpossible!" "English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England."
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#42
08-30-1999, 12:52 AM
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Quote:
It's also so people (such as those I encounter on message boards) can simply know a little more about who I am. That is the original purpose of an AOL profile, anyway--it is NOT designed to be a personal ad, and shouldn't be assumed to be one. (Esp. if they say "I don't cyber.") ------------------ "Me fail English? That's unpossible!" "English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England."
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#43
08-30-1999, 11:53 AM
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Before I meet someone from the net, I input their email address into every search engine I can, plus perhaps www.ask.com [multisearch], www.dejanews.com [newsgroup search] & check any business they say they own at www.salesleadsusa.com & then perhaps match to see if it agrees with what I have been told. Kinda just bored sometimes, so I do these things. Can also check if they are flirting with more people on the net that way.
'FINGER'ing' someone, also used to be a great way cause you could check how many emails they got. But most have it turned off now.
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#44
08-30-1999, 11:09 PM
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Sorry, no hairy chest, no mustache... actually, I'm NOT sorry about that! I guess what I don't understand about an Internet Romance is how do you get together? If you live in the same state I could see it but what if they live rather far from you? Unless you have a lot of money falling out your ass that seems rather difficult to swing.
I might be tempted to meet someone if they lived here in Salt Lake but I don't see myself flying out to see someone KNOWING that I won't be able to see them again for a long time. It seems almost like teasing myself with something I know I can't have. ------------------ The moon looks on many flowers, the flowers on but one moon.
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