Rant or Trolling?

[Liberal]

I am loathe and swelled with agony over something I've seen lately in the Pit:

People are complaining about someone else's posting style, but they DON't post their credentials as Posting Style Critics thus generating a lot of carefully reasoned refutations.

Fenris does this here, but he is by no means the only one. I believe that I could safely say (though I'd be wrong) that there are thousands. Thousands!

True enough, I played along at first. I thought 'Hmm. I think this guy knows what he's talking about. He's a good egg and a talented song satirist.' And yea verily, once I understood that he wasn't just talking out his butt, I realized that it was a thoughtful plea for reason. But until then, he might as well have been composing a rant about "Them Backstabbin' Injuns".

And it's not just that I feel singled out, I've expressed concern on one or two occasions before, see here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.

I'd just like to know, rantists, how exactly does it ruin your day just to let other people (HINT: have someone show you the window — those things moving around out there are things that are people like you, but might think differently from you) have a bit of fun, eh? Is is too much to ask for you to just step outside yourself for a moment and go something like, "Gee! Y'know what? I guess I didn't get it, but those other people did, and they seemed to enjoy themselves, so what the fuck? I guess just this once, I won't impose my ass-puckering concerns on them."

I realise that people doing this don't mean to come across as hair-splitting ankle biters intent on ruining everyone else's fun, but what they mean doesn't matter in this case. I think it's a habit (kind of like that blond girl in Clueless), but it's long past the time that this habit was twisted into a pretzel and shoved back up the tight anus from whence it came.

I'm NOT saying to stop the rants, they're interesting in a wreck-scene sort of way once you realize that they mean no harm to others. I'm just saying post a curse-your-deity credential that establishes you as the absolute and objective mind-frame that we all should share.

Lib, prepared to be called a renegade.

[yojimbo]

Originally posted by Libertarian
I am loathe and swelled with agony over something I've seen lately in the Pit:

People are complaining about someone else's posting style, but they DON't post their credentials as Posting Style Critics thus generating a lot of carefully reasoned refutations.

Fenris does this here, but he is by no means the only one. I believe that I could safely say (though I'd be wrong) that there are thousands. Thousands!

True enough, I played along at first. I thought 'Hmm. I think this guy knows what he's talking about. He's a good egg and a talented song satirist.' And yea verily, once I understood that he wasn't just talking out his butt, I realized that it was a thoughtful plea for reason. But until then, he might as well have been composing a rant about "Them Backstabbin' Injuns".

And it's not just that I feel singled out, I've expressed concern on one or two occasions before, see here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.

I'd just like to know, rantists, how exactly does it ruin your day just to let other people (HINT: have someone show you the window — those things moving around out there are things that are people like you, but might think differently from you) have a bit of fun, eh? Is is too much to ask for you to just step outside yourself for a moment and go something like, "Gee! Y'know what? I guess I didn't get it, but those other people did, and they seemed to enjoy themselves, so what the fuck? I guess just this once, I won't impose my ass-puckering concerns on them."

I realise that people doing this don't mean to come across as hair-splitting ankle biters intent on ruining everyone else's fun, but what they mean doesn't matter in this case. I think it's a habit (kind of like that blond girl in Clueless), but it's long past the time that this habit was twisted into a pretzel and shoved back up the tight anus from whence it came.

I'm NOT saying to stop the rants, they're interesting in a wreck-scene sort of way once you realize that they mean no harm to others. I'm just saying post a curse-your-deity credential that establishes you as the absolute and objective mind-frame that we all should share.

Lib, prepared to be called a renegade.

me too

[AbbySthrnAccent]

Is it just me or do none of those links work?

[tiny ham]

Ah Libertarian, couldn't stand to be out of the overdone parody spotlight for even one fucking second.

Great use of bandwidth guys. Four threads about the same fucking god damn thing on the front page.

YOU ROCK.

And by rock, I mean, suck fucking asstulips.

[AbbySthrnAccent]

ok so it's me, I was whoosed.

[Fred]

Wow, the second parody thread parodying a thread that's a criticism of parody threads. The only thing better would be a third parody thread parodying a thread that's a criticism of parody threads. That would really be amusing. And original. And unexpected.

[Liberal]

Thanks, Jar! A bit of advice, if I may. Since you're in the windiest of cities, you might consider investing in some ear plugs.

[Liberal]

Oh, Grim, you dear thing. How would we manage without your erudition?

[Maeglin]

I disagree.

[Ferrous]

I don't know how you do it, Lib. I read that thread parodying Fenris' rant about parodies and just rolled my eyes. I just thought it was dumb and not at all funny, and said so.

When I saw the title of this one, same reaction. I thought, "Sweet Og, not another one!"

But you still made me laugh. I'll say it, and mean it: You rock!

[Liberal]

Ferrous, what was that address again where I should send the fifty bucks?

[Robb]

I realise that people doing this don't mean to come across as hair-splitting ankle biters intent on ruining everyone else's fun

And just when was it that "anke biters" became a bad word? (or two bad words?)

And Lib, I'm guessing that you'll soon be posting your bona fides to criticise other people's posts.

[Liberal]

My credentials? Certainly.

I am a past vice-assistant undersecretary of the Illuminati. I currently occupy the Limbaugh chair at the Schlessinger Institute for Hysterical Paranoids, where I am engaged in post-doctoral work on Aztec relations with Poland in the 12th century. I have served as advisor to eight presidents and four kings on matters of posting protocol. I have more than one hundred magic rings collected from various cereal boxes, and I know several liberals personally.

[Ferrous]

Originally posted by Libertarian
Ferrous, what was that address again where I should send the fifty bucks?

I thought we agreed on a hundred! You want high-quality ass-kissing, it don't come cheap!

[The Ace of Swords]

Huzzah! A toast, a toast to Libertarian!

Bloody cutting!

[gobear]

The worst aspect of these %^$#& parody threads? They are making the SDMB boring and are exactly the kind of cutesy insider bullshit that inspires talk about "cliques.

I come here for discussions, for education, for information, not to get suckered by some jagoff's linkless, not to mention entirely unfunny, parody of some thread in a wholly different forum. If you're going to do satire, it should be obvious (hint, include a motherfuckin' link), it should be clever, it should be humorous. The parody threads here are merely painfully dull.

IOW, knock it off.

[Robb]

Ok Lib, your credentials are all well and good, but what I really want to know is, Do you have the secret decoder ring?

[Liberal]

No, Robb [...wink... ...wink...] I don't.

Gobear, I'm trying to remember whether I asked you before I posted. [...squinting... ...grunting...]. Nope, I didn't.

[Robb]

Oh. [...ahem...] Carry on.

[Binarydrone]

Ahhh, now this is making sense. I was wondering why Libertarian was so quick to jump in Fenris’ shit, until I saw that Fenris had complained to Libertarian about the way that parodies had been handled in the past. Based on the link (Oooh, look, this URL thingie works!) seems like a while to nurse a grudge.

Seriously though, how are parodies that are designed to whoosh people funny? The point is well made that others should be allowed to have fun, but it seems to me that if you post things that are in an outrageous voice and have no link to show what you are making fun of, you would have to be a drooling moron not to suspect that it will cause a negative reaction.

That said, you are deliberate causing bad feelings. Naughty!

And perhaps worst of all is that when you do this you send Dog alone knows how many people off searching to if you are joking or just a fuck, thus slowing the boards down! Very naughty!

[Fenris]

Lib, very funny and all, but how 'bout answering the objection in my original thread? I know you're capable of debate, why not engage me in it if you think that adding a link is so onerous.

Drone, "nurse a grudge"? Please. Lib is a poster who's stuff I enjoy and go out of my way to read. But if I hadn't provided more than one cite, someone would have come along and assumed I was just jumping on Sparc when the issue's wider than just his post.

Fenris

[Munch]

This is all some sort of...

Aw fuck it. This is more than old.

[London_Calling]

I'm just waiting for the thread from Ferris or Sparc entitled 'A modern symbological assessment of the ontological argument for making an arse of oneself'.

Let in end, chaps.

[Trion]

Ya know what? I'm just gonna lie down over hear and watch TV until this little trend passes. Let me know when it's over.

*Click*

Hey, look! I haven't seen this episode of The Sopranos yet.

[Tars Tarkas]

What's this about Muslim/Christian/Shogun Warriors in GD?

[Binarydrone]

Originally posted by Fenris

Drone, "nurse a grudge"? Please. Lib is a poster who's stuff I enjoy and go out of my way to read. But if I hadn't provided more than one cite, someone would have come along and assumed I was just jumping on Sparc when the issue's wider than just his post.

Fenris

No, no. See I don’t think that you are the one nursing a grudge. I think that I am agreeing with you here.

[Fenris]

Aaak.

Binary: You're right, I completely misread your post. Sorry about that. Mea culpa

But I don't believe that Lib is holding a grudge either. I hope that he's just zinging me, which is fine, but I'd still appreciate a serious answer from him too, especially in light of those comments by Tuba and Coldie that I found about a similar issue.

Fenris

[Liberal]

Fenris

I love you this much. [...steps forward and gives Fenris big ol' hug...] I knew that you, above all others, would appreciate my gift to you — this thread.

And you're probably right to complain. I was, as far as I know, the originator of at least the modern parody threads (going all the way back to my parody of Phaedrus). And I've been told by the administration (you can find it on ATMB) that my pit parodies are within SDMB guidelines. (I had been concerned that they might violate the exact quote rule.)

But you? You're one of my heros here. And don't you ever think otherwise. Got it?

[Liberal]

Ahhh, now this is making sense. I was wondering why Libertarian was so quick to jump in Fenris’ shit, until I saw that Fenris had complained to Libertarian about the way that parodies had been handled in the past. Based on the link (Oooh, look, this URL thingie works!) seems like a while to nurse a grudge.

Moron.

[Hamish]

<simpsons>
Gen-X-er #1: "Well, this is just wonderful."
Gen-X-er #2: "Dude, are you being sarcastic?"
Gen-X-er #1: "I don't know anymore."
</simpsons>

[Liberal]

Aw, it's something you see all the time on MBs, Ham. Guy meanders in and sees the two old timers having at it, and he thinks they're fighting. Have the guy attack Fen, and see what happens.

[UncleBeer]

I am a past vice-assistant undersecretary of the Illuminati. I currently occupy the Limbaugh chair at the Schlessinger Institute for Hysterical Paranoids, where I am engaged in post-doctoral work on Aztec relations with Poland in the 12th century. I have served as advisor to eight presidents and four kings on matters of posting protocol. I have more than one hundred magic rings collected from various cereal boxes, and I know several liberals personally.

Liar. The Aztecs were busy moving from Northwest Mexico to Tenochtitlán and Lake Texcoco under the direction of their tribal leader-deity Huitzilopotchtli during the twelfth century. Domestic issues took the fore in this period; they had no time for foreign relations.

Also, Poland, during the twelfth century, was rife with internal disorder and foreign invasions. The Piast Dynasty, formed in the tenth century was disolved in this era and Poland wasn't reunited until 1330's under Kazimierz II. I suspect the Poles also had little or no time for foreign relations.

I'd think a past vice-assistant undersecretary of the Illuminati would know that.

[Liberal]

Liar.

Whore.

The Aztecs were busy moving from Northwest Mexico to Tenochtitlán and Lake Texcoco under the direction of their tribal leader-deity Huitzilopotchtli during the twelfth century.

That's quite impossible since the fourth sun would not yet have risen. It is widely believed among neo-Huitzilopotchtlian scholars that alien life forms descended by way of an asteroid, which created the swamp where they found their city.

Domestic issues took the fore in this period; they had no time for foreign relations.

It is believed among scholars that the Northwest Tribes maintained communications with the lost tribes by means of eagles carrying messages carved on stone boulders. It is eminently reasonable that these eagles might have flown off-course and arrived, admittedly weary, in Poland.

Also, Poland, during the twelfth century, was rife with internal disorder and foreign invasions.

Yes, that's true. And as you say yourself:

The Piast Dynasty, formed in the tenth century was disolved in this era and Poland wasn't reunited until 1330's under Kazimierz II.

Which is exactly why communication with the Aztecs was so critically important. The most successful pre-Kazimierz competitor would have been the one who could count on Aztec support.

I suspect the Poles also had little or no time for foreign relations.

I trust that I have allayed your suspicions.

I'd think a past vice-assistant undersecretary of the Illuminati would know that.

Sorry. My subcommittee kept tabs on conspiricists only.

[Tamerlane]

Originally posted by UncleBeer

Also, Poland, during the twelfth century, was rife with internal disorder and foreign invasions. The Piast Dynasty, formed in the tenth century was disolved in this era and Poland wasn't reunited until 1330's under Kazimierz II. I suspect the Poles also had little or no time for foreign relations.

Actually it was Kazimierz III ( Casimir the Great r. 1333-1370 ), not Kazimierz II ( Casimir the Just, r. 1177-1194 ). And it was actually his father Wladyslaw I Lokietek ( Ladislas the Elbow-High, r. 1306-1333 ) who formally reunited the realm in 1320 with his elevation by the Pope as first formal Rex Poloniae. And Kazimierz III is generally considered the last of the Piasts. After his death the line descended through his sister Elzbieta to his nephew Ludwik I ( Louis of Anjou, King of Hungary and Poland, 1370-1382 ).

What? What? Of COURSE it's relevant!!

- Tamerlane

[Mangetout]

I have nothing to say on this matter.

[Binarydrone]

Originally posted by Libertarian
Moron.

See, I don’t think that you get to just do that. Tell me that I am wrong, tell me why I am wrong, shit tell me why I am a moron. Look up other posts of mine and point out the terrible error of my ways and display to the world what a moron I am.

Or is this another of your joke thingies that I didn’t get?

[Sparc]

[...] Look up other posts of mine [...]

In the global context of this all here, that was priceless.

[Binarydrone]

So your theory here is what? I know that I’m a moron and should post links to prove it?

[Fenris]

Originally posted by Libertarian
Fenris

I love you this much. [...steps forward and gives Fenris big ol' hug...] I knew that you, above all others, would appreciate my gift to you — this thread.

And you're probably right to complain. I was, as far as I know, the originator of at least the modern parody threads (going all the way back to my parody of Phaedrus). And I've been told by the administration (you can find it on ATMB) that my pit parodies are within SDMB guidelines. (I had been concerned that they might violate the exact quote rule.)

But you? You're one of my heros here. And don't you ever think otherwise. Got it?

Ditto Lib!

I know the admins have OK'd your parody threads and I'd be disappointed as hell if they were suddenly disallowed, but I'm still concerned by that lack of a link. I love your parody threads, I go outta my way to read 'm. But 1) I find it frustrating as hell to try to guess who's being taken on. As Sua said in my original thread (paraphrased) "Parodies aren't funny unless you know who/what's being parodied" 2) You're well known for your parody threads: people see 'em and know that it's a patented Lib Parody Thread^tm but if I did one, they'd just assume I'd gone (further) 'round the bend and 3) If I try to think like a troll would, I can think of dozens of ways to abuse the "parody threads are ok" rule. A simple link would stop all those issues. You're the trendsetter on parody threads (they go back to PHAEDRUS???!! Kidding aside, if that thread's survived the boards I wanna see that one!), so where you lead, others'll follow.

Think about it, 'k?

Fenris

PS: On preview...You called Uncle Beer a whore? You are in SOOooo much trouble!

[Hamish]

Guys, irony is dead. You've exhumed the poor creature and are now fighting over its worm-eaten remains, you jackals.

These parody threads disgust me. At the risk of invoking Godwin's Law, this is just the sort of thread you-know-who would post. If he were alive.

[stofsky]

Originally posted by Mangetout
I have nothing to say on this matter.

Ditto.

[Weirddave]

I'm just digusted because *I* posted the first parody of Fenris' parody thread, and yet he comes over here and fights with Lib, ignoring me.


I don't feel wubbed anymore.

[Fenris]

How d' ya think I feel? Lib's damned parody thread has gotten more responses than my original one! Talk about kicking someone when they're down!

Fenris, neglected attention whore

[Fred]

Originally posted by Libertarian
Oh, Grim, you dear thing. How would we manage without your erudition?

I imagine you'd find a way to stoicly carry on, through the lonely nights and the wet, shimmering tears. And someday - someday in the unimaginably distant future - you'd learn to smile again. And yet... yet... when the sun sets in the Orient East, and when the night stars begin to shine, you'd hear a nameless, shapeless, amorphus, and yet intensely meaningful something. The sound of the wind, whispering to your soul. Whispering thegrimspectreofreddeath.

[samclem]

Alright, guys. Knock it off and get a server.

How is this pit-worthy?

[Scylla]

Hmmm.

::Note to self::

Start parody thread parodying parodies, or better yet satirizing parodies. That way I can get those responses and get back into threadspotting.

Damn. Shoul have thought of that earlier.

[Liberal]

Fenris

You're the trendsetter on parody threads (they go back to PHAEDRUS???!! Kidding aside, if that thread's survived the boards I wanna see that one!), so where you lead, others'll follow.

My wife saved a copy. It was actually a parody of one of his sock puppets. (Note the original use of the Schelssinger reference!) Here's to your enjoyment:

-----

I am very disturbed after reading through these endless ad hominems directed at far and away the most intelligent and articulate poster ever to grace this undeserving message board. I mean, of course, Phaedrus. If you would simply listen to him, perhaps you might get a clue. What I find remarkable is Phaedrus' infinite patience and tolerance of all of you. He presents post after post in rapid fire succession, each packed with emperical and imperative data that prove the case he makes conclusively. Meanwhile, all of you taunt him incessantly with demands for more, more, more! Well, I am here to provide you more.

I was a key thinker at America's most prestigious think-tank for 42 years, and was, prior to that, a Munt-Fellow scholar for 25 years at Oxford, Picadilly Campus. For more than 30 years, I wrote speaches for a dozen American presidents and scores of high ranking Chinese bureaucrats. I engineered the peace accords that were signed at Versailles, and have been consulted the past 9 years by CEOs at 15 different Fortune 500 companies. I trade directly from my seat at Nasdaq, and I am Vice-assistant Undersecretary of the Illuminati. I present these credentials only by way of information for those interested. They have nothing whatsoever to do with what I am writing about, but I present them solely for the benefit of David B and, of course, the androgenous poster from Iceland.

I only have time for a very brief post, and so I will post only briefly.

Now, I will present to you the case of the African River Moth. How does evolution explain the very peculiar calene ratio of this moth? You would expect its calene ratio to be disaproxiate if evolution were true, but we find in this moth a distinctly aproxiate ratio of calene to pachy. Compare the abstented abdomen of the African River Moth to the thorax of a butter gnat, and you will be astounded to find NO SIGNIFICANT TAXONOMIC DIFFERENCES. I repeat that: no significant taxonomic differences. (Note here that I mean taxonomic in the psychological sense as presented in the theories of Jung, and not in the ontological sense as presented by Ayn Rand. Later, I will explain to all of you what a theory is, but I don't have time right now.)

Consider also the grasshopper.

If evolution were true, we would expect that grasshoppers would hop backwards, since the evolution model is expressed graphically as a logarithmic curve. But grasshoppers do not hop backwards; they hop forwards, implying an intelligent design. You can prove this is true basically by flipping a coin. There is a 50% chance you will get heads, and a 50% chance that you will get tails. Well, by the same token, there was a 50% chance that we would be in an alternate universe. Since we are not in an alternate universe, but are, in fact, in the universe in which we find ourselves, we can expect that the grasshopper will hop forward. And in fact, it does! Evidence of design.

I really cannot post much more because I have to leave to pick up my nobel prize.

But what about the Myodictux tree? How do you explain that its sap cannot penetrate its bark. If evolution were true, this tree could not reproduce. Why? Try looking at retinal tissue from an ordinary housefly under great magnification. You will discover cells that bear an uncanny resemblance to the cells in Myodictux! In both cases, the cells have cell walls made of membrane, nuclei made of genetic-type material, and DNAs that are similar to two significant digits, and that is a Post Hec Olfactum falacy. If evolution is true, then the Myodictux tree must be a direct descendant of the common housefly. And that, of course, is absurd.

Now, already I have given you sufficient evidence to disprove evolution, but I am only talking about Darwinism. There is ample evidence, according to Dr. Laura Schlessinger, of the Institute for Hysterical Paranoids, that the theory perpetrated by Darwin and other socialists of the time, was nothing more than a hoax. Did you know that Darwin was a divinity school dropout? You can prove this if you read the books that I have read, and I have read thousands of them. They do not even include the books I have in my vast library, which is fifty stories tall, and was designed by Frank Lloyd Wright.

Later, I will give you more, but for now I really must go.

One more thing. My grammar is perfect. I am tired of Ayesha's flirting. And all my friends at camp have died from anthrax. I am a religious man, but I do like putting vacuum cleaner hoses up my ass. Now, I know that even with all the proof I have given you here for creationism, there will still be some doubting Thomases, but that is outside the realm of philosophy, on which I have written prodigiously and soon will be published. I have already had work published in scientific and medical journals as well as typing tutorials.

Now, I would hand around and let all of you yell at me, but I think I might simply start a new thread for that. Oh, and speaking of which, why is it that all of you constantly demand more and more proof from Phaedrus but offer up no proof of your own. Who among you has cited the laboratory experiment where billions of years of evolution have been replicated? Nevermind that, if evolution were true, you would need 10^128 years for a single blob of Big Bang plasma to evolve into even a simple protein molecule. And if the universe were that old, the stars, as everyone knows, would have all burned out by now.

Well nya nya nya. I am sick of all of you. Shame on you. A pox on all your houses.

I have to leave right now, and I might never come back because my wife was kidnapped by Navy SEALs and taken to Ruby Ridge, where they have threatened to tie her to a tree with her back facing FBI marksmen. But let me just leave you with this: if evolution were true, then why should I type these words at all? Why not just let a monkey smack at keys until, after billions of years, my post will automatically appear! Oooh! Just like magic! Sheesh, if you believe in Darwinism, you'll believe in anything. O, how gullible the silly masses.

------------------

Though I were from whence I will have been, I ought rather would to be than to have been at all.

[Futile Gesture]

Originally posted by Weirddave
I'm just digusted because *I* posted the first parody of Fenris' parody thread, and yet he comes over here and fights with Lib, ignoring me.


I don't feel wubbed anymore.

Could be worse. You could have posted a parody, attracted a whole bunch of self-appointed BBQ Pit police throwing a hissy fit, and then had the thread locked while similar, later, threads march on.

Obviously not being a member of the clique (or Illuminati for that matter) I'm not allowed a parody if some find them boring and feel compeled to post saying so. Repeatedly.

I don't know, if only there was a way of ignoring the threads you didn't like and letting them drop off the page. Wonder how you do that?

Not that I'm bitter or anything

[Missy2U]

From Lib

I have to leave right now, and I might never come back because my wife was kidnapped by Navy SEALs and taken to Ruby Ridge, where they have threatened to tie her to a tree with her back facing FBI marksmen.

You just HAD to bring guns into this, didn't ya?

[Liberal]

Yes, but I also brought trees. Hug away.