Help me! I need a boost!

[evilbeth]

I am meeting for the first time with my class reunion committeee tonight. I have not seen these people in ten years. Since then I have become old and fat and boring while they have gone on to ber fabulously beautiful and interesting people.

Okay, so they probably haven't. But I really feel that way! True, I have done something amazing that most of them have not--I have had a child. A miracle child at that. But still. I was voted Most Likely to Succeed in high school and today, I'm really feeling like that was a joke.

Make up some good stuff about me, please! Tell me I'm smart, funny, witty, whatever. Even if it's not true.

I need some help right now. I know this is completely shallow and pathetic but I want to walk into that meeting feeling like I feel when I'm in the middle of a debate with you guys, or posting to a Pit thread or something.

I want to feel important!

[Kalhoun]

I went to my 10-year reunion, and most of the "beautiful" people from high school were just normal, ageing middle-class people. You were obviously well-thought of or they wouldn't have voted you most likely to succeed. Now hold your head up and have fun. They will all be like you. People just trying to get through life.

[evilbeth]

::mental note: add Kalhoun to list of favorite people...::

[papergirl]

Evilbeth, honey, you sit down right here and listen, okay?

You're one of the most level-headed, intelligent posters I know of here.

You had an amazing baby and kept it together emotionally, physically, and, well, cosmically, through a very long, hard ordeal; and you went on to write one of the most touching posts I've ever read. (Which I can't find right now, but I think it was titled "A Bag of Sugar.")

You're a GREAT mom.

NONE of this qualifies you to be considered "boring." Or fat, for that matter...my goodness, I do believe you've lost weight.

And you ARE smart, and witty, and successful.

Don't be intimidated; those folks are human too, and have the same insecurities that you do. Hold your head up high and approach it with all the confidence of the amazing person you are.

(And don't feel bad. I feel exactly the same insecurities you do...I guess it's a natural thing.)

Have FUN at your meeting!
Best,
karol

[papergirl]

To expand a little, I recently received a message from a high school friend of mine. It appears that she is extremely successful...huge house, nanny, important work in the field of science, Big Important Stuff.
So I had to reply and say something along the lines of, "Huh! I'm a paper carrier." It was kind of tough, but I made myself do it...I've done nothing in my life to be ashamed of, and quite a lot to be proud of, and the world needs poets and papercarriers as much as it needs scientists and bigwigs.
Hang in there. Everything I said about you is TRUE.

[VenusProbe]

I went to my 25th, The only other people there were the Jocks, Cheerleaders and Pep Club. Oh and they're still stuckup!

[DeVena]

I went to a small high school in rural Alabama. When I went to my 10th year reunion, I was 27, newlywed, fat, and in a wheelchair.

Everyone else there was on the 2nd or 3rd spouse, with multiple children (of varied parentage) and none had gone on to higher education - or left the county. And all they could talk about was how wonderful it was 10 years ago.

The only person I could have an intelligent conversation with was 1 guy who was in the Army and had just gotten married. This was his first trip back in 10 years too.

It will not be as bad as you expect it to be. Trust me.

[Zanshin]

<Gabby Johnson>
Kalhoun, bodypoet, VenusProbe, and DeVena Johnson are right!
</GJ>

Like all the aforementioned wise sage posters, I went to my 10-year reunion also. I went to HS in a small town in northern Illinois (that I not-so-affectionately refer to as 'the town that 1987 forgot'). When I walked in, I was pleasantly surprised -- most of the people there had really changed (and not for the better). Much lost hair, many expanded waistlines, lots of polyester on the ladies and mullets on the men. (Okay, the mullets hadn't changed, 'cuz I had one in HS also. But it ended there, I swear.)

And not a lot of people had really standout lives or stellar careers -- most of 'em were just plain folks with everyday jobs. There were a few who'd really succeeded and had really insanely interesting or challenging careers but for the most part, most of them had regular jobs and lives and were Regular Small-Town Joes.

Go in there and be confident of who you are and what you've accomplished -- raising a child and doing it well is no small accomplishment, equal to anything anyone at your reunion has accomplished. You have lived up to your Most Likely to Succeed award. Walk in there with a big smile and don't be intimidated. Go get 'em, tiger.

[FairyChatMom]

evilbeth, dahling, I love what you've done with your hair! It makes you look so young and stylish. And may I say I've always admired your fashion sense - promise me you'll make time to go shopping with me - my wardrobe needs your magic touch. And you must share the recipe for that fabulous dessert you dreamed up - I shan't take no for an answer!!



Have a blast - knock 'em dead!

[GingerOfTheNorth]

Evilbeth:

The cheerleaders are all fat now. The Jocks are all bald. You are neither.

Love, Gingy

[CanadianSue]

I went to my 10 year.. a few years back and true to form, the cute guys with tousled hair were now bald and the girls who were the cool chicks were all much bigger and very tired looking. It made me feel great!

[Leifsmama]

Yeesh, my 10 year reunion cost $70 a person. I declined. Too much money to see people I never liked much to begin with.

[evilbeth]

You guys are great. Your boost helped a lot. I knew I could count on you!

I should point out that I went to a high school where higher education is the norm rather than the exception. In fact, having anything less than a Masters is considered not living up to your potential. So, there's plenty of room to feel low when meeting with these people.

There was a pretty big showing considering the size of our graduating class and how few people stayed in the area. There were 8 of us which is slightly less than 20% of the whole class. And yes, I was the fattest one there--unless you count the baby of one of my classmates--I think he has a few more fat rolls than me but mine are bigger!

However, the truth always surprises me. As I sat there--fat, boring and married, sharing baby pictures and talking about my non-career job--I started to notice something. Some of the thin, beautiful girls who are fast-tracking their careers (Masters degree in International Business, anyone?) and dating anyone they want were teary-eyed over the baby pictures and stories. And their flawless faces went from looking beautiful to looking lonely and wistful. They even looked embarassed that they have been employed with the same companies for years. They wanted to settle down and have babies and share stories about spit-up and diaper rash. And I want to be thin and beautiful!

But you know what I realized? I've done the hard part. I've found someone who loves me unconditionally and I have a beautiful, amazing baby who becomes even more amazing everyday. There are people who will never know the happiness that comes with having these things. Obtaining these things is the hard part because no matter how self-disciplined and ambitious you are, you can't make someone else love you that way. You just can't. I have the easy part in front of me--I can diet and I can have face lifts until my eyes meet around back of my head and I can have liposuction until I'm no longer a three-dimensional being. I can get promoted at work or even get a new job. These things are under my control and I can change them if I want to.

My road to getting what I want is a lot easier than theirs--because it's all up to me and me alone.

Of course, there's always the thin, beautiful girls who are married to rich men who want nothing more out of life than another martini. Ehh...who cares about them anyway!

[Kalhoun]

I found that most of us did a quick once-over on what we were doing now, but then we all regressed into seventeen-year-old high school kids and talked about all the fun we had. I had a much harder, less successful life than most of the people I went to school with, but I made them laugh then and now, and we all just had a big love-fest. Except for the snotty people that didn't like me then. They didn't want to see me at my 10th, either.

My 30th is coming up next year. OHMYGOD! I can't wait.

[evilbeth]

Originally posted by Kalhoun


My 30th is coming up next year. OHMYGOD! I can't wait.

Well, just let me know if you need a boost!

[Kalhoun]

Thanks, Evilbeth. The way I look at it, I don't remember too many people saying "oooh, I can't wait" because everyone is equally nervous about it. So that means, no matter how you may have missed the mark, they probably did too, so everyone is even-Steven. Oh, and the cocktails are a big help, too!

[bjohn13]

My tenth was a blast....less than a week removed. Actually, I didn't attend the actual "reunion" which was on Saturday afternoon...I only attended the social hour on Friday night.

I didn't have any enemies in high school.....I was the guy in the hall who said "hi" to everyone. There is not a person from my high school graduating class of 365 that I couldn't pick out by face and full name back then. Yes, I did know everyone. I never had a problem getting a lab partner....I always had someone to sit next to in study hall...I was always the first picked for teams in phy ed, not because I was a spectacular athlete, but because everyone knew that I loved sports and would always give 100%. I guess I was that way abot life too....

But I never really had any close friends from within the school. Sure, I'd hang out, go to parties and dances, etc....but I never dated anyone from my school (I attended three proms, none of which were my from my school). I'd generally bring a friend from a different school when I attended such events.

So I wasn't exactly sure what to expect when I went to my ten year reunion. I couldn't have been more surprised.

Immediately upon stepping into the bar, the entire room joined into a chorus of Steppenwolf's "Born to be Wild". I had forgotten all about that....how everyone always used to sing that when I stepped into a room. Quite possibly it was because I was the only guy in school without a mullet (or what I like to refer to as the "penis-head" haircut....remember those?). All my hair was long.

Ahh...my biggest fear was that everyone would have forgotten me. Apparently, that wasn't the case.

My second biggest fear was that I'd run into a roomful of successful people and end up being ashamed from myself.

Sure, I ran into some successful people. One I envied to a great deal. He had two beautiful and well loved kids as well as a beautiful wife.

However, what I found at my reunion was something I simply did not expect. I found that, given with what I started with, what I had endured, and what I have accomplished, I was quite possibly the most successful person in the room.....and I was able to accomplish that without a college degree.

I'm sure there were others in the room who felt the same way I did.

I only intended to go for a couple of hours. I wanted to make a scene, test the waters, and decide what to do from there. Last call came around, and I wasn't ready to call it a night.

I wish I could have attended the ceremony. Alas, my position at work requires that I work Saturdays (actually, I volunteer to do the Saturday work. It has, over time, become my shift).

Apparently, there have been three of my classmates who have passed away in the last ten years. They were to be honored. Also, there were three members of my class who died before their senior year who were to be honored as well. Finally, there was going to be a special sermon for another kid who committed suicide his senior year. At the time, the administration forbade any special school-related memorials to him because they feared that it may encourage others to think adversely. I can't say I altogether disagree with that statement as an adult, but it was a mark that was left on everyone in that class (not even a place in the yearbook). Ten years later, they felt that the guy deserved his place. After all, how many 18 year olds know exactly what they are doing every step of the way. As kids, we felt that he was being punished by the administration's actions.

What a change ten years make.

[Scotticher]

Bethie, you have done the best thing that anyone has EVER done...you had EmmaKate. You had her, you loved her through the hardest thing ( I hope) she will ever have to face, and you are going to love her through everything else that life throws at her.

Don't you EVER tell me that you aren't as good as ANYONE else.

You ROCK!

My Love,

Cheri

PS....you aren't FAT, either. You might be "cushy", but I am willing to bet that Stephen and EmmaKate like you that way. Who else matters? NO ONE, that's who!!!!!

PPSS....Sorry so late

[Rasa]

evilbeth, you have never been stingy with a compliment or kind word when it's needed. Plus you have the amazingly teeny tiny (or not so much anymore) Emma Kate, who was adored by the Teeming Millions before she was even born. I sure think you sure have succeeded.

You can appreciate this story, however, I'm sure: My mom was feeling quite the same way about attending one of her reunions... she felt old and fat and unattractive, and lamented that she'd be "the only one there without a little black dress and diamonds."

Now, we were never well-off, both my parents were teachers. My brother and I never wanted for anything, but that meant my parents made sacrifices so that we could have that. They never complained or held it over our heads, but my mom just wanted to feel "dazzling" for one night in her life.

The night of the reunion, my dad presented my mom with a tiny box. She opened it, and inside was a pair of diamond earrings. The attached card said "Even without the diamonds, you'll be the most beautiful woman in the room."

The diamonds themselves were tiny; the smallest I have ever seen. But the thought, and the love with which they were given, were huge. Years later, my dad got her a nicer pair, but she still wore her tiny diamonds every special occasion that meant something to her. I wore them to my girlfriend's wedding and my mom told me the story, and it reminded me again that it's not appearances that matter, it's what's inside.

My mom went to that reunion feeling like a million bucks. I hope the same for you.

[Mama Tiger]

Evilbeth, you have succeeded! You obviously know what's *really* important. I'm of the generation of women who we thought we had to have it all because we were pretty much the first to have the chace, yet I think most of us discovered that trying to have it all meant we only ended up with about half of anything.

So I gave up on the big fancy career and turned into a mom. Sure, I've worked, but my kids have ALWAYS come first. They still do! And you know what? No matter what else I do or don't do in my life, I know that I've done the most important thing of all -- I've raised two terrific young people to be part of this world! (Well, that's assuming the Mother Ship doesn't come for my son, like we keep expecting to happen any day now. )

So appreciate what's REALLY important! And every time that baby smiles at you because you're the best mom in the entire universe, you'll find you're easily able to agree with her!

[Declan]

How about posting , how it actually went

Your post is not the first that I have seen , but there never seems to be any follow up to them. Personally I skipped the ten year re-union because I had no intention of ever seeing those people again, school was not fun ,lol.

Have a great day

Declan

[Declan]

oops , I really should remember to read ,not scan the threads

Apparently you did give a post about what went down

Please disregard the above post

Declan