You know you're from Canada when:

[MLAW]

You know you're from Canada when:

1. You only know three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.
2. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
3. The mosquitoes have landing lights.
4. You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.
5. You have 10 favourite recipes for moose meat.
6. Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.
7. You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one meter above the ground.
8. You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
9. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.
10. You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.
11. You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
12. The local paper covers national and international headlines on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.
13. At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
14. The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
15. Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.
16. You think the start of deer season is a national holiday.
17. You head south to go to your cottage.
18. You frequently clean grease off your barbeque so the bears won't prowl on your deck.
19. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
20. The major parish fund-raiser isn't bingo it's sausage making.
21. You find -40C a little chilly.
22. The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freeze.
23. You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry and your Sorels.
24. You can play road hockey on skates.
25. You know 4 seasons: Winter, Still Winter, almost Winter and Construction.
26. The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.
27. You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.
28. You perk up when you hear the theme form "Hockey Night in Canada".
29. You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Canadian friends.

[CanadianSue]

Heh! and your point is? From chilly Edmonton where we got 11 cms of snow yesterday.. aloha.. Hey.. it only got down to -28 last nite.

One of the things that few know is that in the summer we get 17 hours of daylight. yep, yes siree.. 17 very long hours, cant beat that I think. (of course we also get alot of darkness in the winter, but the summer makes up for it)

Oh Canader, our home and native land

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We are, each of us angels with only one wing,and we can only fly by embracing one another

[Globe-trotter]

Thanks Sue, I feel much better now. I think a trip to Monterey is in order.

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Some drink at the fountain of knowledge...others just gargle.

[missdavis102]

When I was a kid, I wanted to be Canadian when I grew up.

[CanadianSue]

Let us know when you are at that point.. we will definitely roll out the red carpet for you!!

Yep moosiegirl.. i agree with you.

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We are, each of us angels with only one wing,and we can only fly by embracing one another

[Sucellus]

You know you're from Canada when:

You realize Moosehead is a beer and not a misdemeanor.

[PurpleCrackwhore]

You two wild and crazy canucks can always crash at my house for your Monterey trip..just leave that damn cold weather in Canada tho!

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I really try to be good but it just isn't in my nature!

[Coldfire]

Sue tellém about them three hockey players that invented the name "Canada"


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Coldfire
________________________________
"You know how complex women are"
- Neil Peart, Rush (1993)

[Northern Piper]

a regional addendum,

you know you're from Saskatchewan when you divide your laundry into darks, whites, and green and whites.

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and the stars o'erhead were dancing heel to toe

[ReservoirDog]

So... it's cold there, then...

[MLAW]

Cold enough for ya?

Our (in Ottawa) overnight low for the last couple of days has been -28 Celsius (-18.4 Fahrenheit). During the day (yesterday) we had a high of -29 with a wind chill of -45C (-49F). Boy did our vehicles complain. Thank god a warm front has moved in and today's high will be -19, with a wind chill of only -35 (-31F).

Weird weather! Last week the canal was closed due to the fact the water was not frozen. Now its too bloody cold to stay outside.

[ChiefScott]

You know you're from Canada when:

1. You live in a trailer.
2. The heater doesn't work.
3. There's shit on the floor and in the tub.
and,
4. You're still fighting with shitboy.

::resisting urge to add a smiley::

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You are now leaving a "Smiley-free zone"!

A public service message brought to you by G.R.O.S.S.

[WallyM7]

It's snowing here. Snowflakes as big as dinner plates. We'll probably have 15 cm's before the day is over.

I wish the government would do something.

I really, really hate that crap.

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Keyboard not found. Press F1 to continue.

[Havoc]

/me remembers last winter when both Edmonton and Toronto received 1.25 m of snow (what's that, about 4 feet?) in the same week.

The Torontonians called in the military and shut down the city so as to clear all the snow.

The Edmontonians, mildly annoyed at this turn of events, drove off to work as usual.

(WHAT?! You mean there was a backyard in behind my condo? Yougottabekiddin'me...)

[CanadianSue]

Thats cuz we Edmontonians are tough Havoc neither rain nor sleet and all that...

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We are, each of us angels with only one wing,and we can only fly by embracing one another

[drollman]

You know your from Canada when:
You say "Thank You" to the ATM.
It's three o'clock in the morning on a deserted street corner...and you still wait for the green light so you can cross.
A Vegatarian is someone who ran out of bullets.
You've killed more deer with your pick up than with a shot gun.
You thought "Y2K" was pronounced "Why touque, eh?"
You point out successful Canadians to other folks. (Shania Twain, Micheal J. Fox {for now} THe Barenaked Ladies...)
Even in August, the first thing you do in the morning is stick your head out the door and exhale to see if you can see your breath.

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With God as my witness, I thought turkey's could fly.

[Globe-trotter]

What a difference a year makes, Havoc. Now we've got about 1 cm on the ground. But yeah, it was humiliating to have Mayor Mel call in the military.

[Havoc]

Originally posted by drollman:

Even in August, the first thing you do in the morning is stick your head out the door and exhale to see if you can see your breath.

That's not true!

The earliest I could do that was September 1st.

[CanadianSue]

Ahem.. oki Cold

How Canada got its name...

Three drunk hockey players (or were they politicians?, really the same thing) were sitting around trying to come up with a name for this wonderful country. They decided to put all the letters of the alphabet into a box and draw out the letters. The end result would be that whichever letters were chosen would ultimately be our country's name.

Drunk Number one voted himself to be the drawer of the letters, and proceeded with the following commentary...

C
eh
N
eh
D
eh

tada and thats how we became Canada eh!

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We are, each of us angels with only one wing,and we can only fly by embracing one another

[Coldfire]

ROTFLMAO

[drollman]

Aside to Havoc: I can't tell you how embarrassed we were when our dickhead mayor called in the army for that snowfall last year. We'll never live it down. Myself and countless others in the media tried to make it abundantly clear: The Mayor's doing this because he's a publicity hungry furniture salesman! We don't need the army to clear the snow! The rest of the country already hates, don't give them more reason! Alas it was not to be...

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With God as my witness, I thought turkey's could fly.

[Rodd Hill]

You're truly Canadian when you know who Sandy McBuck is!

I urge all fellow Canuckuckleheads and would-be Canadians to check out Canadian World Domination HQ: http://www.standonguard.com/



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Launcher may train without warning.

[Rodd Hill]

Ahem...Canuckleheads.

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Launcher may train without warning.

[CanadianSue]

Awww Droll, I dont hate any of you. Hell, I'd even loan you my shovel the next time you get a cm or so hehe.. j/k.. you are right it was a stupid political move, but then look provincially, we are equal.. we have Klein and you have Harris, I think maybe they are twins separated at birth.

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We are, each of us angels with only one wing,and we can only fly by embracing one another

[Ike Witt]

I feel the need to point out that most of the OP applies to the state of Minnesota almost as much as good ol' Canada.

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See those stars over there? That is the Little Dipper. I'd show you the Big Dipper, but my zipper is stuck.

[Frankie]

This thread is why I like canadians. They are funny people!

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-Frankie
Lack of charisma can be fatal

[Boris B]

You know you are from Canada when the phrase you pick to complete the expression "As Canadian As ..." is "possible under the circumstances".

[mega the roo]

you know you're an american when:

7 of your 29 facts about canada have to deal with snow. but i suppose sometimes repetitiveness is necessary when you don't know what you're talking about.



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"human beings, vegetables, or cosmic dust; we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible piper." - albert einstein

[Kilgore Trout]

just wondering... what else would we do with the snow? if the military weren't called in, who would clear it?

and no, this isn't mel.

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*what is essential is invisible to the eye -the fox*

[Templeton]

You only use one verb for describing all actions---Hork!!

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Now is the time for all good men to come the the aid of their gazorninplatt.

[drollman]

Thanks for the sympathy CanadianSue. You got Ralph, we got Mike, and each of us thinks the other isn't as bad off as we are. Ah, suffering in silence: The great Canadian pastime...next to hockey, of course!

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With God as my witness, I thought turkey's could fly.

[CanadianSue]

ahhhhhh GO OILERS GO!!!

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We are, each of us angels with only one wing,and we can only fly by embracing one another

[Nutty Bunny]

Canada is great! When I was growing up in extreme northern New York (the next person that says "oh, Buffalo?" is getting my foot up their ass, by the way), the greatest thing was making the 20 minute trip to Cornwall to drink when I was 19--or going to Montreal at 18. Not to mention the Tragically Hip concerts; still Cananda's best kept secret.

Okay, I'm done kissing Canadian butt now.

[Jois]

What about sandals and socks? Aren't all Canadians born with sandals and socks?



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Oh, I'm gonna keep using these #%@&* codes 'til I get 'em right.

[Odieman]

You know you are from Canada when:
You are walking in -22 C (-8F) weather and you think it's not too bad out.

You apologize when someone else steps on you.

You would drive 1 1/2 hrs and 100 miles (150 KM) for a Burger King burger, just for something to do.
You say you hate America, while you try to be as American as possible.

It's never to cold to make love outside.


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You want brilliance BEFORE I've had my coffee!!!

[AceHigh]

Ok, if you want to go Canadian:
www.canoe.ca

And Sue, as a loyal Edmontonian I have to also say...
GO OILERS GO!!!!!!

[TVeblen]

You know you're Canadian when summer tourists show up carrying skis--and everyone else is sunbathing on the beach.

...when you show up in say, Branson in winter all gussied up with your swimsuits and sunblock--any everyone else is wearing parkas.

...when tourists approach you and happily quote endless dialogue from "Red Green".

...when terrorist attacks threaten and Americans ask you how to disguise themselves as Canadians. (Carry signs saying, "GO OILERS"?)

Veb

[KJ]

A supposedly true thing from the Computer Stupidities page (I'm not looking at the actual thing, so I might reword it a little.)

Tech Support: Hello, how may I help you?

Canadian: Yes, I need to do {such and such}.

Tech Support: Okay, to get into that menu {or whatever}, just press Ctrl+A.

Canadian: ...

Tech Support: Are you there?

Canadian: Alright, um, we pressed Ctrl, eh? And nothing happened, eh?

(okay, that one sounds fake, but it's funny nonetheless.)

[WallyM7]

You're a Canadian if you're behind a bottle of beer in the summer and a snowblower in the winter.

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