More "You may be a Canadian Humour"

Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share (MPSIMS)
1

SIGNS YOU MAY BE A CANADIAN…

  1. You stand in “line-ups” at the movie, not lines.
  2. You’re not offended by the term, “Homo Milk”
  3. You understand the phrase, “Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my poutine”
  4. You eat chocolate bars instead of candy bars.
  5. You drink pop, not soda.
  6. You know what it means to be on ‘pogey’.
  7. You know that “a mickey” and “2-4’s” mean “Party at the cabin eh!!”
  8. You don’t hold your hand on your breast when you sing the national anthem.
  9. You can drink legally while still a ‘teen’.
  10. You know that francophones, anglophones and allophones are not electronic devices.
  11. You talk about the weather with strangers and friends alike.
  12. You don’t know or care about the fuss with Cuba, it’s just a cheap place to travel to and has good cigars.
  13. When there is a social problem, you turn to your government to fix it instead of telling them to stay out of it.
  14. You’re not sure if the leader of our nation has EVER had sex and don’t want to know if he has!
  15. You get milk in bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs.
  16. Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway.
  17. You drive on a highway, not a freeway.
  18. You sit on a couch not a chesterfield - because Chesterfield is a small town in Quebec.
  19. You know what a Robertson screwdriver is.
  20. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.
  21. You know that Thrills are something to chew and “taste like soap”.
  22. You know that Mounties “don’t always look like that.”
  23. You know that Canada is the only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
  24. You voted for a political leader who admitted to smoking pot.
  25. You understand that having an extension cord on your car does not mean that it’s electric.
  26. You read rather than scanned this list.

SIGNS THAT YOU MIGHT BE TOO CANADIAN FOR YOUR OWN GOOD:

  1. You play hockey 12 months a year. (Is this you Sterling?)
  2. You dismiss all beers under 6% alcohol content as “for children and the elderly, and for export to the US”.
  3. You know that the Friendly Giant isn’t a vegetable product line.
  4. You know that Casey and Finnegan are not a Celtic musical group.
  5. You remember when Alanis Morisette was “Too Hot To Hold”.
  6. You wonder why there isn’t a 5 dollar coin yet
  7. Your backpack has only one Canadian flag sewn on.
  8. Unlike any international assassin/terrorist/spy in the world, you probably don’t have a Canadian passport, or if you do you can’t find it.
  9. You know the French equivalents of “free”, “prize” and “no sugar added,” thanks to your extensive education in bilingual cereal packaging.
  10. You are excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.
  11. You make a mental note to talk about it at work the next day.
  12. You can eat more than one maple sugar candy without feeling nauseous.
  13. You know what a touque is.
  14. You have some memento of Doug and Bob.
  15. You admit Rich Little is Canadian and you’re glad Jerry Lewis is not.
  16. You know Toronto is not a province.
  17. You drink Moosehead beer because of the moose.
  18. You believe “the Canadian Conspiracy” should have won an Oscar.
  19. You never miss “Coaches Corner”.
  20. Backbacon is a food group.
  21. You laugh afterward at some U.S. citizens’ lack of knowledge of Canadian geography, but you are too polite to correct them.
  22. You use a tennis ball more for road hockey than for tennis.

THE BEST WAY TO FIND CANADIANS WHEN YOU ARE ABROAD:…

Walk through any airport, bar or other public establishment while abroad and sing or whistle the Hockey Night in Canada theme song and, without exception, all Canadians within ear shot will respond…

2

When my family visitited some old friends in Sask…, Sekatch…Sisk… South of Moosjaw as a child they called the couch a chesterfield and confused the hell out of my by ordering chips at kentucky Fried Chicken.

3

Another sigh that you are a Canadian is that you know how to spell Saskatchewan, EH

Kith From yu know where…

You want brilliance BEFORE I’ve had my coffee!!!

4

Or, another sign that you are Canadian, you feel compelled to post this stuff.

:smiley:

Some drink at the fountain of knowledge…others just gargle.

5

ooh ooh, me too!

“human beings, vegetables, or cosmic dust; we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible piper.” - albert einstein

6

Funny how I was compelled to resd this!!

You know your a Canadian when:

  1. You have 10 different recipes for moose meat. (No offense eh Moosie!)

2.You have to make your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit AND you still take them out trick or treating eh.

  1. You have more milage on your snowblower than your car eh.

  2. You think inserting a few french words into a sentence means you are bilingual eh.

  3. You use the word “eh” after everything you say eh.

7

Lets see I spelled Saskatchewan right but I mispelled sign, you and most embarassingly
my name. Let’s try again, Keith from you know where…
Sigh, ever have one of those days when you don’t quite know who you are.

You want brilliance BEFORE I’ve had my coffee!!!

8

Americans ask you if there’s a Groundhog Day in Canada.

You can hitchhike safely.

You think american Slurpees are weak.

You’ve heard of the Tragically Hip.

Not from Canada, but talk like it.