You know you're from Canada when:

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

You know you’re from Canada when:

  1. You only know three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.
  2. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
  3. The mosquitoes have landing lights.
  4. You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.
  5. You have 10 favourite recipes for moose meat.
  6. Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.
  7. You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one meter above the ground.
  8. You’ve taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
  9. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.
  10. You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.
  11. You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
  12. The local paper covers national and international headlines on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.
  13. At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
  14. The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
  15. Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.
  16. You think the start of deer season is a national holiday.
  17. You head south to go to your cottage.
  18. You frequently clean grease off your barbeque so the bears won’t prowl on your deck.
  19. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
  20. The major parish fund-raiser isn’t bingo it’s sausage making.
  21. You find -40C a little chilly.
  22. The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freeze.
  23. You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry and your Sorels.
  24. You can play road hockey on skates.
  25. You know 4 seasons: Winter, Still Winter, almost Winter and Construction.
  26. The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.
  27. You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.
  28. You perk up when you hear the theme form “Hockey Night in Canada”.
  29. You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Canadian friends.
2

Heh! and your point is? From chilly Edmonton where we got 11 cms of snow yesterday… aloha… Hey… it only got down to -28 last nite.

One of the things that few know is that in the summer we get 17 hours of daylight. yep, yes siree… 17 very long hours, cant beat that I think. (of course we also get alot of darkness in the winter, but the summer makes up for it)

Oh Canader, our home and native land :wink:

We are, each of us angels with only one wing,and we can only fly by embracing one another

3

Thanks Sue, I feel much better now. I think a trip to Monterey is in order.

Some drink at the fountain of knowledge…others just gargle.

4

When I was a kid, I wanted to be Canadian when I grew up.

5

Let us know when you are at that point… we will definitely roll out the red carpet for you!!

Yep moosiegirl… i agree with you.

We are, each of us angels with only one wing,and we can only fly by embracing one another

6

You know you’re from Canada when:

You realize Moosehead is a beer and not a misdemeanor.

7

You two wild and crazy canucks can always crash at my house for your Monterey trip…just leave that damn cold weather in Canada tho!

I really try to be good but it just isn’t in my nature!

8

Sue tellém about them three hockey players that invented the name “Canada” :wink:

Coldfire

“You know how complex women are”

  • Neil Peart, Rush (1993)
9

a regional addendum,

you know you’re from Saskatchewan when you divide your laundry into darks, whites, and green and whites.

and the stars o’erhead were dancing heel to toe

10

So… it’s cold there, then…

11

Cold enough for ya?

Our (in Ottawa) overnight low for the last couple of days has been -28 Celsius (-18.4 Fahrenheit). During the day (yesterday) we had a high of -29 with a wind chill of -45C (-49F). Boy did our vehicles complain. Thank god a warm front has moved in and today’s high will be -19, with a wind chill of only -35 (-31F).

Weird weather! Last week the canal was closed due to the fact the water was not frozen. Now its too bloody cold to stay outside.

12

You know you’re from Canada when:

  1. You live in a trailer.
  2. The heater doesn’t work.
  3. There’s shit on the floor and in the tub.
    and,
  4. You’re still fighting with shitboy.

::resisting urge to add a smiley::

You are now leaving a “Smiley-free zone”!

A public service message brought to you by G.R.O.S.S.

13

It’s snowing here. Snowflakes as big as dinner plates. We’ll probably have 15 cm’s before the day is over.

I wish the government would do something.

I really, really hate that crap.

Keyboard not found. Press F1 to continue.

14

/me remembers last winter when both Edmonton and Toronto received 1.25 m of snow (what’s that, about 4 feet?) in the same week.

The Torontonians called in the military and shut down the city so as to clear all the snow.

The Edmontonians, mildly annoyed at this turn of events, drove off to work as usual.

(WHAT?! You mean there was a backyard in behind my condo? Yougottabekiddin’me…)

15

Thats cuz we Edmontonians are tough Havoc :wink: neither rain nor sleet and all that…

We are, each of us angels with only one wing,and we can only fly by embracing one another

16

You know your from Canada when:
You say “Thank You” to the ATM.
It’s three o’clock in the morning on a deserted street corner…and you still wait for the green light so you can cross.
A Vegatarian is someone who ran out of bullets.
You’ve killed more deer with your pick up than with a shot gun.
You thought “Y2K” was pronounced “Why touque, eh?”
You point out successful Canadians to other folks. (Shania Twain, Micheal J. Fox {for now} THe Barenaked Ladies…)
Even in August, the first thing you do in the morning is stick your head out the door and exhale to see if you can see your breath.

With God as my witness, I thought turkey’s could fly.

17

What a difference a year makes, Havoc. Now we’ve got about 1 cm on the ground. But yeah, it was humiliating to have Mayor Mel call in the military. :smiley:

18

That’s not true!

The earliest I could do that was September 1st.

19

Ahem… oki Cold

How Canada got its name…

Three drunk hockey players (or were they politicians?, really the same thing) were sitting around trying to come up with a name for this wonderful country. They decided to put all the letters of the alphabet into a box and draw out the letters. The end result would be that whichever letters were chosen would ultimately be our country’s name.

Drunk Number one voted himself to be the drawer of the letters, and proceeded with the following commentary…

C
eh
N
eh
D
eh

tada and thats how we became Canada eh!

We are, each of us angels with only one wing,and we can only fly by embracing one another

20

ROTFLMAO :smiley: