Some Canadian vs. United States Humour

The following temperature conversion guide is in Farenheit:

50 above: New Yorkers turn off the heat. Canadians plant gardens.
40 above: Californians shiver uncontrollably. Canadians sunbathe.
35 above: Italian cars won’t start. Canadians drive with the windows down.
32 above: Distilled water freezes. Canadian water gets thicker.
20 above: Floridians wear coats, gloves and wool hats. Canadians throw on a t-shirt.
15 above: Californians begin to evacuate the state. Canadians go swimming.
Zero: New York landlords finally turn up the heat. Canadians have the last cook-out before it gets cold.
10 below: People in Miami cease to exist. Canadians lick flag poles.
20 below: Californians fly away to Mexico. Canadians throw on a light jacket.
40 below: Hollywood disintigrates. Canadians rent videos.
60 below: Mt. St. Helens freezes. Canadian Girl Guides begin selling cookies door to door.
80 below: Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic. Canadian Boy Scouts postpone “Winter Survival” classes until it gets cold enough.
100 below: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Canadians pull down their ear flaps.
173 below: Ethyl alcohol freezes. Canadians get frustrated when they can’t thaw their kegs.
297 below: Microbial life survives on dairy products. Canadian cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
460 below: ALL atomic motion stops. Candians start saying “Cold 'nuff for ya?”.
500 below: Hell freezes over. The Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup.

Tell me something - do other countries really think we Canadians live under 6 feet of snow in sub-zero temperatures all year long? (just kidding). Actually, I get a chuckle out of this type of humour and would enjoy reading any you may have.


Actually, I was in Calgary, Alberta one July. It got as hot as Arizona!

On the other side, I’ve also noticed that 90+% of Canadians live within an hour of the southern border. :slight_smile:

I don’t know, but I wish a Canadian would explain to me the meaning of the phrase “Bob’s yer uncle.” I know it means “quickly”, but what’s the derivation?

Excellent, MLAW! I mailed it to the Canadians now living in Houston in tropical weather, shorts, t-shirts and the ever present little sandels… If you make that in a t-shirt, I’d place an order for 10, please.

It’s very simple Guy, my name really is Bob.

Dopeler effect:
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Just in case you guys didn’t know, 80% of all Canadians live within a couple of hundred miles of the U.S. border, and the difference in temperature between southern Canada and the Northern U.S. states is really small. Small enough that local irregularities in landscape can make a big difference. For instance, I grew up in Lethbridge, AB. About 60 miles north of the U.S. border. But we got these great Chinook winds from the Crows-nest pass that meant we almost always had warm winters, and no giant buildups of snow. But summers were generally pretty windy.

Here in Edmonton, it gets a LOT colder, even though it’s only another 200 miles north. Even so, since El-Nino moved the jetstream, we’ve had warmer winters on average than many major northern U.S. cities like Minneapolis. Last winter we had a series of days in January which were warmer than Florida.

Today it’s 9 degrees Celcius, or about 50 degrees F.

Well (from a use-ta-be Calgarian)…that’s what you get for living in Edmonton!

Canadian climate: 10 months of winter, 2 months of poor sledding.

Oh, wait, I know a Canadian joke:

TERENCE: What did the Jewish insurance salesman say to the Polish immigration officer?

PHILIP: I don’t know, Terence, what?

TERENCE farts.

PHILIP: Ha ha ha ha ha, you farted!

“Love 'em, fear 'em, and leave 'em alone.” – Dr. Spockiavelli