For all our Canuck friends........

You might be Canadian if:

  1. You know all the words to “If I had a million dollars” by The Barenaked Ladies, including the inter-stanza banter between Steven and Ed.

  2. You dismiss all beers under 6% as “for children and the elderly.”

  3. You hum David Foster’s '88 Calgary Olympics theme in the shower.

  4. You make up patriotic lyrics to go along with David Foster’s '88 Calgary Olympics theme.

  5. You cried when Gus “drowned” on Road To Avonlea.

  6. You remember when Alanis Morrissette was “Too Hot To Hold”.

  7. You think there isn’t enough of Peter Gzowski to go around.

  8. You think it’s normal to have a grain elevator in your backyard.

  9. You wonder why there isn’t a 5 dollar coin, as you can only use more change.

  10. You spend hours in the dark making scale models of the Avro Arrow and cursing the Diefenbaker government.

  11. You watch MuchMusic constantly, in the hopes of occasional fleeting glimpses of The Tragically Hip.

  12. You have an Inuit carving by your bedside with the rationale, “what’s good enough protection for the Prime Minister, is good enough for me!”

  13. You have memorized the Heritage Foundation’s Heritage Moments, including your favourites, “Burnt Toast!”, “You know I canna read a word…”, “One day we have tar paper roof!” and “Kanata”.

  14. You can sing “O’ Canada” in French and actually know what the words mean!!

  15. You advocate the abolition of responsible government, in favour of monarchist rule.

  16. You think there isn’t enough Queen on our currency.

  17. You send angry letters to the CBC demanding the return of the Hinterland Who’s Who spots so you can finally find out what happens to the arctic ptarmigan in winter.

  18. You participate in Participaction!

  19. You think Peter Mansbridge is sexy.

  20. You think Lloyd Robertson is sexy.

  21. You think Peter Kent is sexy.

  22. You think Matt Damon is so-so.

  23. You stood in line for hours for Another Roadside Attraction tickets.

  24. You killed your best friend for Another Roadside Attraction tickets.

  25. You think Great Big Sea isn’t Maritime-centric enough.

  26. Your graduation formal dress was made of flannel.

  27. Your backpack has more than one Canadian flag iron-on.

  28. You know the names of all the guys in Sloan.

  29. You have been on Speaker’s Corner. Bonus points if they edited out your carefully prepared rant against the Harris government.

  30. You use a red pen on your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in the missing 'u’s from labor, honor, and color.

  31. You know the French equivalents of “free”, “prize” and “no sugar added”, thanks to your extensive education in bilingual cereal packaging.

  32. You still haven’t taken down your “NON” posters from the 95 Referendum.

  33. You know more than 3 guys named Gordon.

  34. You think Ashley MacIssac isn’t celtic enough.

  35. You remember “Jodie” from Today’s Special and wonder why you keep seeing her reading news on the CBC.

  36. You can do the hand actions to Sharon, Lois and Bram’s “Skin-a-marinki-dinki-do”.

  37. You know why “killerwhaletank” is funny.

  38. You can eat more than one maple sugar candy without feeling nauseous.

  39. You had a crush on Joey Jeremiah from Degrassi Junior High.

  40. You know that a “Premier” isn’t a baby born a few months early.

  41. You actually watch The Gemini Awards, The Genie Awards, and The Juno Awards. You wonder why Stompin’ Tom doesn’t get his own category in all three. You scream passionately at the television when your favourite Canadian performers are overlooked by their respective academies.

  42. You are excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada. You make a mental note to talk about it at work the next day.

  43. You think -10 C is mild weather.

  44. You have twins named Donovan and Bailey.

  45. You have twins named Wayne and Gretzky (alternately Gordie and Howe).

  46. You know the ingredients for poutine.

  47. You automatically read ‘Z’ as ‘Zed’ and don’t give a damn that it doesn’t rhyme with “now I know my abcs”.

  48. You know what happens in the Evergreen Forest when Bert Raccoon wakes up.

  49. You dressed as Bruno Gerussi for Halloween. You spent hours sifting through garbage on the beach to prepare for the role.

  50. You substitute beer for water when cooking.

  51. You carry empty beer cans from your camping trips home with you in your backpack so you can recycle them when you reach civilization.

  52. You know that the ‘Extra Creamy’ in Kraft Extra Creamy Dinner is ‘add more milk.’

  53. You prefer Elvis Stojko when he has ‘hockey hair’ - a.k.a. ‘the mullet’ or ‘the shorty-longback’.

  54. You brag about the sweet herb in BC.

  55. You know the chorus of “The Log Driver’s Waltz” and are particularly fond of the ‘burling down and down’ bit.

  56. You steal stationery from your Government of Canada co-operative education placement because you figure you can find lots of uses for paper with ‘Human Resources Development Canada/Développement des Ressources Humaines Canada’ written at the top.

  57. You know where this theme is from (you will need Real Audio to hear it).

  58. You are moved to tears by those Bell Canada phone commercials they show around Remembrance Day, where the grandson calls his grandad from Dieppe. You understand the manipulative nature of the advertisement, but continue to be moved, nontheless.

  59. You stay up until midnight (the end of some television station broadcasting hours) to hear the Canadian national anthem.

  60. You get up at 5:00 am (the begining of broadcasting hours) to hear the
    Canadian national anthem.

  61. You spit angrily when Americans say “ruff” instead of the correct “roof”.

  62. You have daydreams that film-maker Don McKellar, and Hugh Dillon from The Headstones, skinned and ate Regis and Kathie Lee.

  63. You recognize: CPP, RSP, and CCM.

  64. You know what “Canuba” is. You think it’s pretty damn funny.

  65. Your gravy boat is shaped like the Bluenose.

  66. You refuse to consume chocolate that doesn’t come in either Smarties, Coffee Crisp, or Laura Secord format.

  67. You die a little inside if you can’t get your Tims double-double.

  68. You know the difference between real snow and “television” snow – the white stuff that passes for snow on tv and in films. You scream, “For Christsake! That should be sticking to their pants!” and “Lookit, it’s not melting! That’s so not snow!” when watching ‘Winter’ scenes.

  69. Someone accidently stepped on your foot. You apologize.

  70. You stepped on someone’s foot. You apologize, then apologize for making them apologize.

  71. You know Casey and Finnegan are NOT a Celtic rock band or imported beer.

  72. You know who Foster Hewitt is.

  73. You read rather than scanned this list.

I might be Canadian. I found more ehs than nays in there! Thanks for the laugh!!

I think I’m a tourist… :wink:

Oh, God, that is so funny!

Who says Americans don’t know anything about us?

Thanks, VB! :slight_smile:

Uh-oh. According to that, I’m a Canadian. My passport says otherwise.

I think it was the Degrassi Jr. High one that put me over the edge. The suffering of Spike and Co. had me addicted.

Hehe I’m a Canadian! I also have one of these lists and since its different from this one thats been put up I’ll put up mine.


  1. You stand in “line-ups” at the movie, not lines.
  2. You’re not offended by the term, “Homo Milk”
  3. You understand the phrase, “Could you please pass me a serviette,I just spilled my poutine”
  4. You eat chocolate bars instead of candy bars.
  5. You drink pop, not soda.
  6. You know what it means to be on pogey.
  7. You know that a mickey and 2-4’s mean “Party at the camp, eh!!”
  8. You don’t hold your hand on your breast when you sing the national anthem.
  9. You can drink legally while still a 'teen.
  10. You know that francophones, anglophones and allophones are not electronic devices.
  11. You talk about the weather with strangers and friends alike.
  12. You don’t know or care about the fuss with Cuba, it’s just a cheap place to travel to and has good cigars.
  13. When there is a social problem, you turn to your government to fix it instead of telling them to stay out of it.
  14. You’re not sure if the leader of our nation has EVER had sex and don’t want to know if he has!
  15. You get milk in bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs.
  16. Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway.
  17. You drive on a highway, not a freeway.
  18. You sit on a couch not a chesterfield - that is some small town in Quebec!
  19. You know what a Robertson screwdriver is.
  20. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.
  21. You know that Thrills are something to chew and “taste like soap”.
  22. You know that Mounties “don’t always look like that”
    And of course
  23. You read rather than scanned this list.

LOL – These are hysterical! I love it!

I’m reminded daily by all of my American co-workers just how Canadian I am. I should show them these lists and see if they “get” any of it…

This guy came in to work the other day and I was standing there as they were processing his application for financing. The girl who was doing it was 16, and apparently completely oblivious to what “Cuh-nay-duh” was. I just looked at the poor guy and rolled my eyes and corrected her pronunciation. He smiled and said “Most of you Americans have no idea where Canada is, even.” Right about then she was trying to figure out what a province was, and where “Nova scot-iuh” was located and all. I told her it was “Nova Skosh-uh” and remarked to the guy “Well, at least you’re not a Newfie…” He smiled and said “… guess what?” I said “Ahh, you guys are used to it!” He says “Yeah, it doesn’t bother us… Heck, I always heard stories about how rude and mean Americans are… I’m quite pleasantly surprised at how nice everyone is… AND quite surprised that you know how much ribbing Newfies get…”

You Canadians giving everyone the wrong idea about us?!


These lists are lame. There should have been at least one Rush joke in there!

Canada: The only country in the world where you can buy a book about federal-provincial relations at an airport.

Topaz, shouldn’t it be the other way around?

Actually I have no clue and I cannot find any mention of a town in Quebec by the name of either Chesterfield or Couch (though the first one does make sense) and I have searched for online Atlases but cannot find any either and I don’t have an atlas handy. As well is some sort of Microsoft thing. I dunno. Not an atlas. sighs

I scored a 32 (both lists combined). I can’t help it. I live in Northern Windsor (Detroit,MI).


How do you get 150 Canadians to leave a pool?

Say, “Would you please leave the pool.”

Stop me if you heard that one.

Spike was hot, despite her hair. So was Mrs Trudeau, in her own slutty, wife of a world leader way. If you can say that any Canadian PM is a world leader.

“The Newsroom” is one of the greatest TV series of all time. Even if I look at Jim, the anchor, and say, “Isn’t that the guy from ‘Mr Man?’”

I have already mentioned my deep, spiritual understanding of “Red Green.” But I didn’t know it was supposed to be funny. Just thought it was nice to see a serious show about guys like me.

And I appreciate what you guys do for world peace. Even if that means “the less that I have to do.”

I don’t see any link to a theme. Just out of curiosity, what was it?

Theme? What’s a theme?


  1. You know all the words to “If I had a million dollars” by The Barenaked Ladies, including the inter-stanza banter between Steven and Ed.


This should be: You know all the words to the original version of “If I had a million dollars”, when BL were still a garage band.

That voice!

27. Your backpack has more than one Canadian flag iron-on.


Not true! You can always tell the Americans in Europe 'cause they’re the ones with the big Canajun flags on their clothing. I stick to understated lapel pins.

“These are the Daves I know, I know, I know. These are the Daves I know.”

No, but I’d love to! Do you?

I just previewed this post, and boy do those quotations embed themselves strangely!

VB - No. 58 is dead on!! (Same thing applies to the Petro-Canada - immigrant boy advert.)

Hey!!! I live in ‘the Greater Moncton area’ , which Dieppe is a part of, and I don’t know the commercial…I don’t know if we can even get Bell Canada!!

I think one of the problems the with US/Canada cultural relationship is that the only information that we Americans get about Canadian culture is from the Red Green Show on PBS. (Of course, now that I think about it, how many Americans watch PBS…10, 15%?) I did recently see a show on PBS called “the industry,” which was kind of interesting. I think I liked it because it was eerily American with little interjections of Canada…they were in Toronto, they mentioned Alan Thicke, etc…The theme song was by the Tragically Hip, too, who I did not know was from Canada. I think in order to create a healthy atmosphere of greater learning, you have to send some more material to PBS. This goes for England too, “Are You Being Served?” dosen’t cut it.

Here’s something I saw on The Onion

“Perky ‘Canada’ Has Own Government, Laws”
When Canadians Say: They Mean:
Parliament Congress
Wayne Gretsky Ken Griffey Jr.
Manitoba Texas
Air Canada American
“Eh?” “What I just said, is it not true?”
Quebec independent maintenant! I am an angry black man!