Fuck you, your future mother-in-law, and your stupid emails

The BBQ Pit
1

Warning: May contain Spam. Names and email addresses have been changed or deleted to protect the innocent.

For whatever reason, this absolutely fucking infuriated me. This guy sends me at least three or four emails a week - all the Virus Warnings (the hoaxes you see on Snopes), the “Pray for the Little Lost Kid” emails, the “Bill Gates will send you thousands of dollars if you forward this email” email. All the garbage. For the most part, he’s a tolerable nuisance at worst. But, inexplicably, today I decided to respond with a little levity. The result? Ugh. (Start at the bottom, obviously)

----- Original Message -----
From: “Winston Smith” <email address deleted>
To: “Perez, Jose” < email address deleted >
Sent: Thursday, April 17, 2003 1:52 PM
Subject: Re:
Jose,

I actually thought this was a joke at first. Obviously, it is not. After all the nonsense you’ve emailed me, I respond to something and you send me THIS???

Delete my address from your Address Book right now, and don’t ever send me another email again.

Fuck you,

Winston

P.S. You’ll notice I’ve dropped Laurie (Jose’s fiance - W.S.) and her Mother from this email. The next “Fuck You” email will be “Reply to All”. Do not incite me further.

> ----- Original Message -----
> From: “Perez, Jose” <email address deleted >
> To: “Winston Smith” < email address deleted >
> Cc: “Kathy D. (E-mail)” < email address deleted >; “D.,
> Laurie” < email address deleted >
> Sent: Thursday, April 17, 2003 12:16 PM
> Subject: FW:
>
>
> Winston,
>
> Please read the below message from my wonderful & very nice > future Mother-in-law. Your cooperation with this message from
> this wonderful & very nice lady is greatly appreciated.
>
> Jose Perez
> brown nose future son-in-law
>
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: Kathy D. [mailto: email address deleted]
> > Sent: Thursday, April 17, 2003 12:13 PM
> > To: Perez, Jose C.
> > Subject:
> >
> >
> > Hello–I am receiving your communications with Winston
> > Smith. Please make it stop.
> >
> >
> > > ----- Original Message -----
> > > From: Winston Smith
> > > To: Perez, Jose C. ; <35 email addresses deleted>
> > > Sent: Thursday, April 17, 2003 12:04 PM
> > > Subject: Re: I’M OVERWORKED
> > >
> > >
> > > And there you are, sitting on your ass, sending
> > > silly emails.
> > >
> > > Now who’s doing the work?!?
> > >
> > >
> > > > ----- Original Message -----
> > > > From: “Perez, Jose” <email address deleted>
> > > > To: "Smith, Winston” <35 email addresses deleted>
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Sent: Thursday, April 17, 2003 11:49 AM
> > > > Subject: I’M OVERWORKED
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > For a couple years I’ve been blaming it on lack of sleep,
> > > > not enough sunshine, too much pressure from my job,
> > > > earwax buildup, poor blood or anything else I could think
> > > > of.
> > > >
> > > > But now I found out the real reason: I’m tired because
> > > > I’m overworked!
> > > >
> > > > Here’s why:
> > > >
> > > > The population of this country is 273 million. 140 million
> > > > are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work.
> > > >
> > > > There are 85 million in school, which leaves 48 million to
> > > > do the work. Of this there are 29 million employed by the
> > > > federal government, leaving 19 million to do the work.
> > > >
> > > > 2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with Iraq.
> > > > Which leaves 16.2 million to do the work. Take from the
> > > > total the 14,800,000 people who work for state and city
> > > > governments And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
> > > >
> > > > At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals,
> > > > Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
> > > >
> > > > Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons. That leaves
> > > > just two people to do the work. You and me.
> > > >
> > > > And there you are sitting on your ass, at your computer,
> > > > reading jokes. Nice, real nice.
> > > >
> > > >

2

Is this what offended you? I don’t understand the chain of events. If that is what offended you, you need to read it a bit closer. I suspect he was just informing you that you had used the reply all feature when you should have used just the reply.

3

So, to summarize:

  1. Jose sends lame spam to large email list.
  2. You respond with a joke to said list.
  3. Jose chides you for sending your email to the entire list.

Conclusion: Jose needs his mouse rammed up his ass. Or at the very least, “someone” should roam the Internet, filling his name and email address into the registration form of every porno site they can find. Then he’ll have so much email to read, he won’t have time to forward these things.

4

Jose could have used bcc: or separately mailed out his lame little missives in order to avoid that occurance. Alternately, he could have explained to his future mother-in-law that this happens when someone uses “Reply to All”.

5

Double Plus Un-Good.

6

Could someone please explain the OP to me? I’m all confused.

7

Anaximenes, I award you - unsmortness points!

8

Miller, I think Giraffe already covered that pretty well.

Anyone who has ever had a “friend” like Jose would agree that Jose needs his mouse shoved up his ass.

9

You have to read it form the bottom up and it’still confusing, but here’s the gist.

To paraphrase Giraffe’s list

  1. Chronic lame spam forwarder Jose sends lame spam joke to large email list. -

ie “'I’m working too hard etc. etc.”

  1. Somewhat annoyed WS responds with a slighly joking (but not much) snarky comment to Jose and response auto-forwards s to all recipients on the list.

“And there you are, sitting on your ass, sending silly emails. Now who’s doing the work?!?”

3: Jose MIL (on mailing list) is offended and asks Jose to arrange it so nasty, snarky WS can’t/won’t send her any more emails

4: Smug little MIL buttkisser Jose asks WS to “cooperate” with this request.

5: WS goes insane with anger and annoyance and f-bombs and flames smug Jose
… and they all lived happily ever after.

10

That’s what I thought happened. I think.

Winston. Calm down. Sure, he’s a dork, but there are people out there like that. It’s never fun to suffer fools, but it would have been just as easy to block his address. I’m sure your little tidbit is getting tossed around to mutual friends. More than likely, out of context.

11

Sorry, but I have no sympathy. Winston, you’re an asshole – Grade AA, Extra Large. You had no business sending that snarky shit to the entire mailing list, you especially had no business getting huffy when he passed on his FMIL’s complaint (nicely, I might add), and you had absolutely no business swearing at him, or threatening him through his FMIL or his fianceé.

What the hell’s the matter with you? You can’t tell a joke without “sharing” it? You secretly WANT to emulate José? You couldn’t just say “please don’t send me any more of this stuff”?

Asshole. There’s a “reply” button and a “reply to all” button, and you damn well know the difference.

12

Seems like a bit of an over-reaction to me and I can’t stand lame ass emails like that. I took it that Jose was joking and thought that the email from his MIL (and probably yours) was funny. Notice how he signed it “brown nose future son-in-law.” I think that “wonderful and nice” was sarcastic. Calm the fuck down.

Haj

13

Which makes Senhor Jose an even bigger asshole for spamming his friends and relatives every day, no?

Winston, I feel for you. I used to get crap e-mails like that from my “friends” all the time. Letting them know, in as straightforward a fashion as possible, that you don’t want to receive said spam, is the best way of getting it to stop. Unfortunately, even that doesn’t always work.

I got in a legendary flame-fest with one of my old friends, because I made a reply (non-snarky) to a spam that got under someone’s skin. In another instance, I was repeatedly threatened for publicly debunking one of the virus myth e-mails I got from one particular individuals.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I sympathize, Winston, and I hope your little run-in doesn’t turn out as badly as some of mine have.

14

Nametag, honey, relax. Winston can’t stop you from sending those hilarious Monica Lewinsky jokes and Bill Gates emails to everyone you know. And to keep meanies like Winston from replying to the whole list :eek:, use the handy bcc feature. That’s what it’s for.

To echo Avalonian, how was Winston’s reply to the list any worse an offense than the original spam? It’s OK to forward tired jokes to countless numbers of people, but commenting on said jokes is somehow verboten?

15

Nametag, honey, relax. Winston can’t stop you from sending those hilarious Monica Lewinsky jokes and Bill Gates emails to everyone you know. And to keep meanies like Winston from replying to the whole list :eek:, use the handy bcc feature. That’s what it’s for.

To echo Avalonian, how was Winston’s reply to the list any worse an offense than the original spam? It’s OK to forward tired jokes to countless numbers of people, but commenting on said jokes is somehow verboten?

16

Nametag, honey, relax. Winston can’t stop you from sending those hilarious Monica Lewinsky jokes and Bill Gates emails to everyone you know. And to keep meanies like Winston from replying to the whole list :eek:, use the handy bcc feature. That’s what it’s for.

To echo Avalonian, how was Winston’s reply to the list any worse an offense than the original spam? It’s OK to forward tired jokes to countless numbers of people, but commenting on said jokes is somehow verboten?

17

Nametag, honey, relax. Winston can’t stop you from sending those hilarious Monica Lewinsky jokes and Bill Gates emails to everyone you know. And to keep meanies like Winston from replying to the whole list :eek:, use the handy bcc feature. That’s what it’s for.

To echo Avalonian, how was Winston’s reply to the list any worse an offense than the original spam? It’s OK to forward tired jokes to countless numbers of people, but commenting on said jokes is somehow verboten?

18

Illustrating the point by example, Giraffe? :wink:

19

It’s quads Giraffe! Good thing you’re multi-nippled.

20

Wow a quadruple post! That’s gotta be a record! :slight_smile: