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#1
08-19-2003, 12:23 AM
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Stupid cat threads
I'm sick and tired of every tom dick and harry talking about his cat on this board as if IT were special. I don't care! Not many people do. They're glorified rodents and I have many examples as to why I think that way.
Thank you for properly naming your thread and all that but get a life! Your cat stories are even more boring on the internet than in person which is barely tolerable. Cats are stupid loafers with little tiny rodent brains. Shut the fuck up about your cats already and have some children worth mentioning. ...Humans, on which you can attach your pride. Until then, I can give two little cat turds in a litter box about your dumb rodent pet. 
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#2
08-19-2003, 12:27 AM
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Re: Stupid cat threads
Quote:
Lamest rant so far today.
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#4
08-19-2003, 12:30 AM
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So don't read the threads, ya stinking moron.
 *cuddles her furry snookum-wookums 1,2 and 3* TABBY DID THE CUTEST THING TODAY! (oh she just meowed, she wants play) She grabbed the catnip mouse in her front paws and hopped around on her hind legs tussling with it! SHES SO SPECIAL AND CUTE AND SWEET!
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#5
08-19-2003, 12:35 AM
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I wuv the kitty stories.
Besides, my kids don't do nearly as many cute things as my cats do, and if I talk about my cats, there's little danger anyone will think I'm bragging and resent me.
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#6
08-19-2003, 12:37 AM
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Awwwww!
 We'd rather not have a cat for convenience reasons, but they're just so cute all the same! Plus, many cats dislike mice and attack them thusly. I wish I had one of those cats around about now.
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#7
08-19-2003, 12:37 AM
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Umm, I really hope you aren't saying you think cats are rodents. I could give you a whole explanation of the difference, but somehow I don't think it's worth the effort.
Oh, and rodents might have tiny brains but intellectually they're capable of some pretty amazing stuff. By the way, I have both. On the whole, I've seldom met a critter I didn't like. Humans, however...
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#8
08-19-2003, 12:40 AM
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Buffy STILL tries to knock my hairbrush off of my dresser. I don't know why she keeps doing it, it's so annoying.
Misty LOVES teasing the puppy. She'll just sit there, out of reach, while Lexie goes apeshit. It's hysterical.
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#10
08-19-2003, 12:43 AM
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My cite is this thread. Dumb pets with dumb owners.
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#11
08-19-2003, 12:47 AM
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Well, My cat just submitted a paper for peer review that solves the whole Unified Field Theory thing.
Oh and she was batting around this little tuft of fur, It was sooo cute!
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#12
08-19-2003, 12:50 AM
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Cats are no different than dogs: Bred for humans. The only exception is that dogs have a symbiotic relationship with humans, which cats (nor their owners) do not.
Show me a Seeing Eye cat or a drug-sniffing cat. Show me a cat that will track a killer for miles or a rescue cat that saves drowning children. Maybe a bomb cat or a police cat? No? Why? Because they're filthy rodents that survive because dumb humans impose personalities on them, which they wished their kids possessed.
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#13
08-19-2003, 12:51 AM
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Rooves, Gypsy cordially requests that you bite her ass.
Piper Grace has invited you to lick her shitbox. Noel thinks you're beneath her notice.
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#14
08-19-2003, 12:52 AM
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Quote:
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#15
08-19-2003, 12:53 AM
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I'm sure that's exactly what they were thinking. Thank god for their interpreter, you.
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#16
08-19-2003, 12:53 AM
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Why does it bother you so that people enjoy their pets?
No, they're not working animals, other than as ratters, companions and pest control (mine like killing any roaches that ever show up) but we still enjoy them. Let me guess - you get a dog just to train him to become a tracking, drug-sniffing, rescue dog. Right? Because otherwise, it really doesn't matter. Dogs can't really do much more around the house than cats can.
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#17
08-19-2003, 01:01 AM
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Dogs stink, they drool all over the place, and you have to TRAIN them to do their business outside.
Cats, on the other hand, do not smell, do not drool (unless they are old), and the mother cat teaches the kittens to use the litterbox from birth. I mean, c'mon, not even kids are potty-trained that easily.
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#18
08-19-2003, 01:02 AM
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I have a dog, which clearly shows his intention to protect every member of my family. He is worth every scrap of meat I feed him. I love him and my family loves him because we have a reciprocal relationship. He expects from me and I expect from him.
Cats are stupid loafers who benefit only from the cute eyebrows of dogs. My point is that before now you didn't know I had a dog, or kids or a family. People who go out of their way to discuss their cats frighten me and seem unreasonable. They are probably the same fuckers who steal my empty shopping cart when I'm not looking and the same people who have clear consciences because they recycle their trash.
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#20
08-19-2003, 01:09 AM
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Quote:
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#21
08-19-2003, 01:11 AM
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Actually, most would, I'd bet. Cats on a ship were considered good luck, and a lot of sailors wouldn't think of setting food on board unless there was a ship's cat.
In fact, Dowie, the Lusitania's cat deserted right before her fateful last voyage. Many of the crew considered it an ill omen.
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#22
08-19-2003, 01:14 AM
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Yeah, but the Lusitania wasn't a pirate ship.
Cats are hell on pirate ships. They make the parrots nervous and scratch the hell out of wooden legs.
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#23
08-19-2003, 01:15 AM
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No. I've had cats.
I took in strays a few times and sometimes I stand in awe of how they can act without teaching from anyone, human or other. Some of my favorite pets were cats. That is not the point of my post. The point of my post is that somehow people who own dogs seem more able to discriminate between what would be an interesting story and what would be a mouth full of shit. That’s all.
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#24
08-19-2003, 01:19 AM
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"My dog caught a fucking ball today". I think he is Einstein re-incarnated. At least Newton.
Stop trying to make me look stupid and I will do likewise.
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#25
08-19-2003, 01:20 AM
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And a thanks to Michael although you may have jumped ship by now (reasonably so).
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#26
08-19-2003, 01:23 AM
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This is one of the more ridiculous bits of drivel I've ever had the displeasure of reading. Some folks around here spend a lot of time talking about something in their personal lives that's important to them. Oh, the fucking horror. 'Cause, ya know, only fucking hosers talk about stuff that's important to them.
If you don't want to read about other people's cats, DON'T OPEN THE GODDAM THREAD!! See, it's just that easy, jackass. Of course, we all know that's not really the point of this thread. The point is that you don't like cats, and don't enjoy being around cats, and it offends you that other people take such great and obvious pleasure in their cats. Or maybe you just can't stand people sharing a bright spot in their lives. Either way, it's really pathetic. As for symbiotic relationships, I have the exact same relationship with my kitties as I do with my dogs. I provide food, shelter, veterinary care, toys, and attention. They shed all over everything I own, produce a lot of shit for me to dispose of, and give me companionship, laughter, and joy. Oh, and Eponine lets me hold her while I fall asleep, my own warm, purring TeddyCat.
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#27
08-19-2003, 01:26 AM
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Quote:
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#30
08-19-2003, 01:31 AM
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The point is: You don't see dog owners (which I also have a gripe with) posting dumb stories about their dumb pets. All pets are lower in intelligence (except for me, I know) than their human counterparts.
If a human with a half a brain happens by here, I hope it's the thinking half. There are enough web-sites devoted to cute little cat stories. How does that help fight ignorance?
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#31
08-19-2003, 01:33 AM
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I'm naming my next bowel movement "Peri".
"Peri-oscope down"
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#32
08-19-2003, 01:35 AM
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Well, golly, all this time I thought we had entire fora devoted to threads that have nothing to do with fighting ignorance. You know, like this one we're in right now.
Obviously, darlin', you haven't been paying attention. Quite a few of us talk about our doggies a lot.
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#33
08-19-2003, 01:38 AM
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Because well, dogs are BORING. They don't really do half of the interesting stuff that cats do.
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#34
08-19-2003, 01:39 AM
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I already brought up the fact that they were doing a disservice to themselves. YOU pay attention.
All pets serve a purpose to their owners that the owners might not be willing to deal with. ALL. Cats stand out as lazy and their owners seem over-protective (to me).
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#35
08-19-2003, 01:41 AM
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Yes...good. We're getting somewhere. Dogs ARE boring (in stories) and so are cats. Thank you for making my point for me.
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#36
08-19-2003, 01:42 AM
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I shamelessly read and laugh at almost every cat thread I come across here despite being the sort that usually hates such sacchariney sweet claptrap. Cats are just that cool.
By the way, Squink, I love your post. I'm almost tempted to co-opt it as a signature.
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#37
08-19-2003, 01:45 AM
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Do just that as a warning for the rest of us that we're dealing with an unstable person.
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#38
08-19-2003, 01:47 AM
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#39
08-19-2003, 01:49 AM
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#40
08-19-2003, 01:50 AM
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Quote:
Wrong! Please try again. Zen (my wolf-hybrid) is quite capable of gnawing the balls off of anyone stupid enough to break into my home. Piewacket (my cat) would merely cower in terror wishing that he had opposing thumbs to write out my safe's combination, just so the nasty icky thief would go away and stop disturbing his precious nap. There is a difference.
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#42
08-19-2003, 02:00 AM
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Oh dear, Rooves, you're making my brain hurt, but I suppose I really shouldn't have opened this thread, now should I have. I'm not certain what cats or stories about cats have to do with your insecurities about your intelligence or the intelligence of others, but I'm concerned for you, hon. So far in this thread you've made unsupportable and downright inaccurate generalizations about cats, dogs, and the folks those animals own. And then you've the utter gall to start spouting off some nonsense about how dog owners know how to tell stories that can educate and/or are more interesting. Both generalizations are utter tripe, and I take issue with you for spouting such ignorance on this board.
 [celestina getting out her virtual paddle and whacking Rooves on his virtual behind] Anyone with a modicum common sense--and certainly anyone who's ever taken the responsibility of caring for a pet--should realize that each pet just like his/her owner is an individual. Pets come in an array of sizes, shapes, and personalities, and whether or not they can be trained to rescue someone, help a blind person cross the street, or just provide companionship for someone, they are an invaluable resource for learning life lessons. You have no right to sit up here in this thread and tell folks that they can learn nothing of worth in reading stories about cats or any other pets for that matter. In trying to take of pets, I and no doubt plenty of other folks have learned more about personal responsibility, selflessness, creativity, and effective communication to name a few. And, certainly in hearing stories from other pet owners, it is not that difficult to learn plenty about the human condition. Until you learn to write something that makes some actual sense, I'd suggest you refrain from posting, and/or ask a moderator to close this most unfortunate thread before you further embarrass yourself.
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#43
08-19-2003, 03:13 AM
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#44
08-19-2003, 07:08 AM
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Why?! It's someone else's boring ball of fur.
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#46
08-19-2003, 07:43 AM
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Lynn, you like catpix? Cool! Here's a link to my Webshots album full of 'em!
http://community.webshots.com/album/782975 I thought about riposting the more glaring of Roove's logical fallacies, but so many others have already done it, and so well, it would be like beating a dead dog. My darling Squash FETCHES! And he taught himself how! Isn't that CUTE?????
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#47
08-19-2003, 07:49 AM
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Oh, and fizzygoodmakefeelnice -- what's wrong with looking at other people's catpix? I like to look at pictures of other people's cats because they're lovely, or funny, or striking, or.... And I like to look at other people's horse pictures, even though I own two of my own, and have burned through many rolls of film and memory chips taking pix of them. I like to admire other people's cats and dogs and horses when I meet them in person -- should I restrict my admiration only to my own menagerie? I like going to museums to see paintings and sculptures, too -- should I look only at stuff I've created? Why must one's creatures/kids/whatever be the only things worthy of one's attention? Huh? Huh?
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#49
08-19-2003, 08:04 AM
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#50
08-19-2003, 08:05 AM
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Well somebody was desperate for attention weren't they?
Are you basking in it? Does it validate your pathetic existence? Posting an "anti-cat" thread in the Pit, yeesh talk about your transparent cries for attention. Hopefully the scornful replies have validated your existance. _____ Now the 4+ knock-off "versus" threads in Cafe Society, now that's stupid. Still, I developed a handy method for dealing with those inane knock-off threads. I DON'T READ THEM. But, we know that's not what this is really about, don't we.
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