If you have no cash, don’t stay out all night.

The BBQ Pit
1

Some friends and I were recently out at a bar, having a good time and several or more beers. As we often do, we all threw down bills on the bar, and the bartender would take the cost of whatever we were eating or drinking out of the stack of cash. At the end of the night, whatever is left (usually a darn healthy pile) we leave for the bartender. We’re all usually quite good about throwing in a fair amount for our drinks any food plus a decent or better tip.

You showed up at the bar and mentioned that you ATM card had expired, you didn’t get a replacement, and you were flat out of cash. Well, I’m glad to stand a guy a drink at any time, even if he’s more an acquaintance than a friend, and this exact cash card thing had happened to me before. So, I had no problem throwing in for you to have a beer or two at our little celebration, nor did any of the rest of the group, I reckon.

On the other hand, if you show up to a bar with no cash, it’s really abusing people’s hospitality to stand there sucking down beers and shots all night. And to order yourself burgers and fries is just fucking over the top. Needless to say, you stayed to the bitter end.

We’re a pretty low-key group, and I’m sure that when each of us individually realized what you were doing, we decided that we didn’t want to bring it up and make a scene. Probably we should have, but we were all having a good time. Chatting among ourselves later, though, we found out that we all saw what was going on and that it didn’t make us happy campers.

Listen, dude, it’s one thing to have a beer or two on someone else when you’re hard up. No one minds that, particularly if you’re willing to catch an extra round or two when you’re flush (which you haven’t shown yourself to be willing to do). But it’s just obnoxious to stay out all night drinking heavily on others when you don’t have any scratch.

I just want to let you know that it’s been noticed and won’t be forgotten.

Oh and by the way, to discuss how you’re going to get the bartender into the sack is really comical when she can see darn well that you’re not anteing up into the pile. She may play up the bimbo act for the tips as part of her job, but she’s not fucking stupid. Or desperate enough to go for a cheap bastard like you.

2

Can I bum a smoke?

3

I can see why’d you have a problem with this guy. Buying him a couple of drinks is the friendly thing to do, but he took advantage of your hospitality.

4

Sure, why don’t you take the whole pack while you’re at it.

5

Sucks, Bill. Rest assured you’re right to be pissed. I probably wouldn’t have said anything to him, either, though.

6

I don’t see that you got a complaint. You extended the guy drinks an food and he took it - me, I try really hard not to get mad at people for soemthing I did. (Although I am not always successful and I do understand where you are coming form)

7

Well, never having been in that particular situation, it’s difficult to conceive how somebody could justify to themselves that it’s acceptable to mooch all night long. Perhaps he considers it more of a loan, however, and will pay you all back by picking up more than his share next time?

8

Does kinda lack class.

…and if I were in that guy’s shoes, I’d have stayed home… or would make a point of generously paying off the people who covered me, ASAP.

And yeah, the thing about the bartender does kind of demonstrate some brain petrification, there…

9

I had a cheap friend like this. HATED going out with him.

On the plus side, he has inspired me to always chip in more than my share when I can.

I’ve gone to places with friends who were broke or temporarily out of cash. I’ve found it makes more sense to say “Here’s $20. That’s what you owe me when you get a chance to pay me back. Spend it however;” rather than say “I’ll spot you all night.” In the latter situation, it always seems that they’re mincing around trying to spend nothing (and not having a good time), or they are ordering a lot of stuff and I start feeling pissy.

'Course, I’d only do this for a good friend.

10

$20.- that’s a hell of a risk. Man, you guys must party pretty hard.

11

There’s a certain reciprocal politeness that’s expected. It’s social convention, township, that even though someone has extended an offer to you, you not abuse their generosity by taking them up on it so … er… completely.

I’m reminded of a good friend of mine who came down to the DR for my wedding to Mrs. Bricker. He came into my to-be in-laws’ house and my father-in-law greeted him warmly, saying, “Mi casa es su casa. You know what that means? My house is your house!”

My friend looked around the beautiful house and replied, “That’s great! Thanks! Listen, you can stay here as long as you want.”

  • Rick
12

Is it possible the guy planned on paying you back when his ATM card situation was rectified?

13

We got an e-mail at work asking if anybody had a room to rent for a summer student. Friend of mine says OK, largely to help out as you’re hardly going to be making a mint out of it.

So after a week, the SS asks if his mum can come to stay. My friend says yes, thinking he meant for the weekend. Nuh-uh. Mum turns up that weekend alright… and she’s still there eight weeks’ later.

pan

14

I suppose I wouldn’t have minded a guy drinking from my pitcher all night - but ordering food seems over the top.

15

That’s exactly it. And based on what I’ve heard from other sources, it doesn’t sound like this guy expressed the slightest bit of appreciation for the generosity of the other members of the group. What an ass.

16

Haw! That’s a mighty funny comment, pardner!

I assume the spirit of the idea came through, even if my cheap-ass standards (as a graduate student, back when we were going out) struck you.

17

You know, that’s another big thing I didn’t really think of at the time I wrote the OP. He’s an entirely ungrateful SOB.

There’s been quite a few nights where I’ve carried a friend or a friend has carried me, and even though I know I’ll get them back or they’ll get me back on another night, we’ve always expressed our gratitude repeatedly.

I don’t know if this guy even realized that he wasn’t simply entitled to drink on our cash. I think that part of the reason that nobody really jumped him on his freeloading is that he acted like he was perfectly right in ordering with the rest of us who contributed.

Near the end, I gathered up the remaining pile of money and put it into a neat stack in front of me. When I did so, I noticed him eyeing it hungrily (thirstily?) as we finished our drinks. I’m sure that given his druthers, he would have drunk through the whole stack, rather than giving it over to the bartender he was trying to pick up.

18

Many years ago I dumped a friend like this. I had learned the hard lesson of not going anywhere with him unless I knew he had money on him. Always willing to drive, then stop and get gas, only…no cash, can you pay?

He remained friends with another friend of mine, so I got to hear their exploits.

One day they stopped at Burger King on the way to second friend’s house. Slacker had no money, but orders a drink and two bacon double cheeseburgers anyway, expecting other friend to pay for it.

From there they drive all of 1 mile to the sucker…er, second friend’s house. Along the way moocher opens one burger, takes a bite of it and chucks it out the window. Sucker expresses surprise. Moocher takes a bite of the second burder and does the same thing.

“What the hell did you do that for?”
“They were cold”

“You could have nuked them at my house”

“Oh shit. Can you go back and buy me two more?”

He never did pay the sucker for them. He even tried to rationalize it that he didn’t actually eat them. What an asshole.

19

After I began my career, there was a time when I became unemployed during the early 90’s recession. I had a college friend nearby who was a civil engineer and making lots of cash. We had a long-time agreement to go out for dinner once a month just to make sure we were keeping in touch. During that time, he never once picked up a check despite the fact that I was only collecting unemployment.

I’m in a better situation financially now, BUT, while I do NOT now take advantage of people who are magnanimous towards me, even turning down offers for beer, etc. on occasion, I never ever forgot that, how really fucking cheap he was with me.

Gee. Great friend.

20

BTW, while we were inseparable in college, I haven’t spoken to him in probably 6 or 7 years. I probably WON’T ever speak with him again. :shrug: He has my number if he wants to talk with me.

Why should I go out of my way to re-establish contact with a former friend who is so fucking selfish he can’t do a “friend” a little favor like picking up a dinner check at some cheap Thai storefront restaurant in order not to contribute to his momentary financial problems, bad as they are?

No, thanks. We can go Dutch, and I don’t want to talk with you ever again, thanks.