I am become Death, the Destroyer of Worlds.
Hey, it’s a living.
Any questions?
What’s a day like in the life of Death?
Why are you standing on top of a dwarf? (Shiva reference)
Does your HMO plan cover dental?
What worlds have you destroyed?
What/Who were you before you became Death?
Thanatos…may I call you Thana?
Thanatos, have you any immediate plans to destroy WallyWorld? Cause, if you do, just wanted to let you know that the optimum time for massive loss of life is around the 3rd of each month, preferably on a Friday.
Oh, and could you exclude the WallyWorld Greeters? It isn’t their fault.
Thank you. Er… that is, Amen. Good luck. May the force be with you. Break a leg. Whatever.
It’s dead here.
May I interest you in some Death Rays? I hear they may turn out to be quite useful in your field…
You want I should let a dwarf stand on me? Hey, it’s Destroyer O’ Worlds talking here.
What is your horse’s name and what do you feed him?
Yes, but the copay is ridiculous. You work your way up to a top slot like Death, the Destroyer of Worlds, and you think they’d cover whitening. But noooooo.
Well, uh, none at the moment. I am become Death, and the job description is Destroyer of Worlds. There’s a committee that makes the call on when I do it.
I knew since I was a kid that I wanted to be Death, the Destroyer of Worlds. So I got a chemistry set for my seventh birthday and went from there. I also worked all kinds of odd jobs, anything that might give me exposure to the trade. My first, entry-level job was as Uncomfortable Silence, the Killer of Conversations. I did some temp work as Something In Your Teeth, the Destroyer of Romance, and I had an internship as References to Uranus, the Killer of Intelligent Astronomy Discussions. I paid my dues.
I break lots of legs. I’m Death, tDoW.
I’d destroy WallyWorld, but’s it a fictional place. But look at Chevy Chase. I’ve pretty much destroyed his career.
I never did care for “Boy Meets World.” Try seeing a new episode of that show anymore.
Nobody’s used those since the 1920s.
have you ever read Tanya Huff’s Long Hot Summoning ? I think you are in it somewhere…
I call him Pale Horse. Hell follows with me and keeps cracking that joke, “Pail Horse? Bet he’s got bucket seats.” Ever have a co-worker like that? Laughs at his own jokes, too. But it’s not so bad. Power was given unto me over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.
So watch your ass.
I’m everywhere. I’m Death, the Destroyer of Worlds.
But I’ve given up on the bar scene, so I don’t get out much anymore.
What – no more questions?
Are you all dead out there?