Polycarp did you forget to take you pills?

The BBQ Pit
1

All right I was going to post this in the pit a couple days ago but figured I’d wait to see what happened. I was actually a little concerned for him but since he is back to posting regularly and hasn’t addressed the others (some of whom are his friends) who inquired on this, here goes.

Poly thinks Jesus has returned and he knows who he is.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=226105&perpage=40&pagenumber=1

Regarding the second coming of Jesus, Poly wrote:

Poly hasn’t yet named names but to me this seems even dumber than when he tried to tell the SDMB he had telepathic powers (if it were anyone else I’d swear he was joking). I’m pretty sure Poly won’t answer me on this thread but what I’m really curious about is if any of his groupies want to follow him down this road, that Jesus is some blond kid, Poly has already recognized him and finds him attractive.

Duck Duck Goose? Andros? Xeno? Beuller? Beuller? How about it guys?

And if I can ask just one more question. Is Jesus’ mom a virgin this time around too?

2

Justin Timberlake?

3

I really don’t understand why he wouldn’t simply say the name. It’s like he’s trying not to spoil it, like it were the end of “Joe Millionaire” or something.

What’s the harm is saying it? Is He shy, and might get scared away?

4

For a while I thought it might have been some sly pop culture reference (Luke Skywalker? Frodo Baggins? Matt Damon?) but nothing seemed to fit. I even tried to think of real people but I couldn’t come up with anybody with a famous last name, a bad pump and a dark-haired companion.

Actually, Poly I really am curious about what you meant by that description. Even if you don’t want to say any more about it, at least tell us that. Tell us something. That was the most intriguing post I’ve ever seen here, and I’m not being sarcastic in the least.

5

Justin Timberlake.

6

Yum. Do they double-date?

7

A walking clock?

8

God damn that is a weird thread.

9

You know, as much as I hate to encourage badchad and his hard on for Polycarp, that is an extremely bizarre post.

10

If Poly doesn’t want to tell us, maybe he could tell us if we’re getting warm? I mean, he said the dude’s last name is already a household name, so it shouldn’t be too hard to guess.

My first guess is: one of the Hansen brothers.

11

That’s your pills, not youpills, badchad.

{{{{lightning strike}}}}
Eh, I like Polycarp…he finds the time to get outside of the Pit once in awhile. Religious differences are nothing to fight about (ha ha!). Well, at least here. I guess I may be in the minority, but I truly don’t find offense in 80% of the religious posts. It’s certainly nothing to get all riled up about, is it? It’s the holiday season, after all. :wink:

12

essvee:

Thanks, er, a, I think.:slight_smile:

Does Billy Graham have any blond kids?

13

If it weren’t for the “teenage” thing, I’d be thinking Carson from the Fab Five. He has several dark-haired companions… :wink:

14

Who’s the dark haired companion?

15

Blonde:

Thanks, if some mod wants to correct that for me, I’d be appreciative.

16

Macaulay Culkin and Michael Jackson, right?

17

Hmm, he is not a household name, rather, his surname is a household word.

Little Johnny Doorbell?

18

Fuck!

I thought I was going to be me. I’m still in the running for anti-christ though, correct?

19

Jeremy Sumpter?

20

Could it be Brian Littrell from the Back Street Boys? He isn’t a teen, but he has had various heart surgeries. And perhaps the dark haired companion could be Howie or A.J. I don’t know how tall BL is, but I understand he at least proclaims himself a Christian.

Yes, truly Back Street’s Back . . . harken, sinners!

Wait . . . is the phrase " whose heart is given to him" a Delphic obfuscation? Perhaps it means that the male companion has had a heart transplant.

The plot thickens . . .