Thanks, lady, for bringing your screaming child to Returm of the King.

[Parthol]

This evening my wife and I went to the theater for our second viewing of Return of the King.

My rant is not about the film itself, which was wonderful. Nor is it about the sorry state of the film’s focus during our viewing, which would in other circumstances have warranted a pit-rant of its own. (The Riders of Rohan, to give you an example, appeared as a blurry band of vaguely horse-shaped blobs cresting a fuzzy hill when they arrived at that place, you know, the one which might be considered a spoiler, but all you who’ve seen it know what I’m talking about.)

No, this rant is not even about the person whose cell-phone went off about five minutes into the film, and who then talked on it for 30 seconds. Yes, I had to fight down the urge to grab both the phone and the offender’s head and then somehow arrange to fit the electronic device inside a human nostril. But my wife knows I’m not a violent person, and I didn’t want her to become alarmed.

I digress. My displeasure with the projectionist and the phone-cretin pales before my wrath at the parent of the five-year-old who started raising a loud fuss before and during the scenes at the Havens. The rational part of my brain would have been merely content to give said parent a stern glare or tongue-lashing, as their wanton brat ran amok some rows behind us, shouting and whining incoherently, for AT LEAST FIVE FULL MINUTES OF THE FILM, with no attempt at parental discipline more forceful that a quick "ssshhhhh" or harshly-whipsered "stop that!"

The visceral, pissed-off parts of my brain, hot with suppressed ire, wanted me to lash her with her own tongue, which I would have just gleefully torn free from her head while my fellow patrons cheered. After delivering a literal tongue-whuppin’ so profound that she would have tasted her own fear, I would have taken a blowtorch to every part of her benighted corpus between her belly-button and kneecaps, to make sure she never again spawned another sniveling, undisciplined, under-parented guttersnipe, let alone had the opportunity to inflict one on a theater-full of movie-goers.

The other folks in the theater were of like mind, I’m sure. While the hellion was crying and shouting seemingly unchecked through one of the most moving parts of the film, we collectively uttered enough “Jesus Christs” to ensure us our own Blasphemy Wing in the Seventh Circle of Dante’s Inferno. And I know we were all thinking the same thing: how would the kid’s mother look with the Witch King of Angmar’s enormous flail-head buried in her bloody, fractured torso? Now that would have been a happy ending.

Lady, how about next time, instead of dragging your five-year-old to a 210 minute movie that ends at 10:00 P.M., with no intention of disciplining said child no matter what it does until those around you threaten you with bodily harm, you do us all a favor, stay at home, and go fuck* yourself. Unless you’re a hermaphrodite, at least that way you’ll stop reproducing.

-P

* This is my first pit-rant. I did have to drop an F-bomb in there somewhere, right?

[GuanoLad]

I once went to a stage production, where a child in the audience one row behind me spent about 75% of the film shouting "I'm being quiet! Quiet! Quiet! I'm being quiet!"

[amarinth]

At least I didn't hear the ones who were there when I saw it...(it was the teenage boys hitting on the teenage girl in the row behind me.)

But I was at a 10:30 Christmas Night showing. Why were there a half dozen 8 (or younger) year-olds there? It was 10:30, at night. Their bedtimes had to be earlier than that. And the movie wasn't going to end until 2am. What possesses you to bring a child that young to that late of a show?

[Michael Ellis]

Originally posted by GuanoLad
I once went to a stage production, where a child in the audience one row behind me spent about 75% of the film shouting "I'm being quiet! Quiet! Quiet! I'm being quiet!"

*snicker*

[Master Wang-Ka]

Gotta love situations like that, don't you?

[Dewey Cheatem Undhow]

Heh. I went to see ROTK for a second time with my dad and sister (who hadn't seen it yet). There was this one guy there with a tiny infant who started crying every twenty minutes or so.

To his credit, he sat on an aisle seat and slipped out of the theatre whenever the kid started wailing. Still, you've got to wonder -- what kind of a person think it's a good idea to bring an infant to a three and half hour movie, especially one with lots of loud, scary noises?

Babysitters, people. If you can't afford a babysitter, you can't afford to go to the movies.

[catsix]

When I went to see it, the kid in question was probably around four years old, and was quite literally climbing all over the people in the theatre.

I got tickets for the Friday after opening day, on line, and then my friend and I waited in line for over an hour and a half to get decent seats when we got into the theatre. We end up seated directly in front of hell-beast and its mother.

This little animal screamed, cried, talked, and climbed on people while we waited for the movie to start. It pulled the ponytail out of my hair. It was ignored by its mother, who said not one single word to the little demon about how badly it was behaving.

I could have understood a small demon being there, had we been at a day showing, but no, it was a showing that started at 21:00. And when the movie did start, did demon-mother make any effort to corral the little demon? Hell no!

It ran rampant through almost the entire film. It didn't stop running around, climbing on people, smacking me in the head, or shouting until a very pivotal part near the end of the film. No amount of glaring back at mother-demon and suggesting things like 'Your kid is being a pain. Control it.' worked, and being stuck in the middle of a very long row of seats, I did not want to disturb even more people by getting up, tripping over everyone down the row, and hauling back an usher.

It's really too bad that there's not an usher inside the movie at all times, making people who behave like that or allow their demons to behave like that leave the theatre.

[istara]

catsix - when that happens you need to leave the theatre, find the manager, and demand your money back. If you don't get a response, threaten to call the police/your lawyer, and have the woman charged with assault (given her child hit you) and have the theatre charged with negligence.

[Elza B]

Originally posted by Dewey Cheatem Undhow

Babysitters, people. If you can't afford a babysitter, you can't afford to go to the movies.

My guess is that these people don't believe in baby-sitters. So instead they take Junior EVERYWHERE. It's not a matter of affording a baby-sitter, it's the pure conceit of thinking that Junior can't survive for an entire two hours without Mommy around, but that Mom doesn't need to adjust her life to him, so she takes him everywhere, even places he really shouldn't be going! But they're also enjoying their time out, so they don't need to discipline him - he's so cute!

(And those of you who practice attachment parenting, don't get offended - I have a friend who practices AP with *twins*, and does an amazing job with it - I'm talking about the ones who don't believe in discipline either and don't recognize that there are places children don't belong. There are *good* APers and bad APers.).

catsix, I would have grabbed a manager. I think complaints about unruly children are becoming more common - and people are becoming less and less afraid to complain about them.

I don't know. I once left a theatre with my two *cousins* because at 7 and 4, they refused to stop talking during the movie and I didn't want them upsetting the other patrons. And when we left, I made them pay me back for not only their own tickets, but for mine as well since they'd made me miss out on the movie. It worked - they learned never to talk in a movie again. But it seems like now people think that they're in their own living rooms when they go to see a movie. As it is, my fiance liked to whisper during movies to me and doesn't understand why I'm always telling him to be quiet.

Ava

[The Flying Dutchman]

I wish the parents could keep their teenage kids out of the movies as well or at least stay on the street. All that giggling etc.

Adults rule.

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

But it seems like now people think that they're in their own living rooms when they go to see a movie.

There's the key, avabeth -- people are so used to yakking, kids playing, and so forth while watching TV programs and videos at home, they don't stop to think that they have to behave any differently in a public setting.

[Clark van der Lyke]

A girl of abour 14 sat in back of me in the movies, took off her shoes and stuck a foot next to my ear. I waited a moment and turned and said "If you are going to sit like that, would you please make sure you wash your feet first. Her reply" Don't bother me or I will say you molested me. I moved. I guess that was her plan. Thinking back, I should have dumped my coke on her foot first.

[Stratocaster]

Parthol, what did you do? I'm curious. Personally, I don't hesitate to ask people to behave, and I will move to yelling if I don't get the proper response. I don't think I'm the one who has to suffer through someone else's rudeness. Invariably I get cheers when it degenerates to yelling. Most people behave, and most people hate it when others don't.

My wife hates how I deal with these things, so I have toned down a bit in recent years. And I think one has to make concessions to the time of day and type of movie. A matinee of a Disney film is going to have a lot of "patron noise" and there's no use bitching about it.

Anyway, I just hate rude behavior like that. How dare someone ruin my movie experience (and especially ROTK).

[Burrido]

Love some parents just sit there and drown out the sounds of their own kids whining and crying during the movies. Thanks asses, now my next 2 hours are pretty much ruined.

[Flutterby]

That is why there are now theatres hosting CineBabies.. where parents can take their little ones, the sound of the movie is toned down somewhat and everyone expects there to be some crying and fussing.

If I ever take Caterpie to the movies with me in the next while I plan to go to a CineBabies showing, either that or I will find a babysitter. I hate people being that rude and kids have a certain leeway but the parents should know better.

[bagkitty]

Last time that (noisy child in theatre) happened to me, I waiting for a quiet establishing shot, with no dialogue, and said loudly "would whoever owns the child who is ruining the movie for me please deal with it before I do".... I got applause, and the ignorant parent seemed to get the message and removed the child from the theatre. The film was not ROTK (it was Bandits... hardly suitable fare for kids in the first place)

[PhoenixPhlame73]

Meh, I've never understood how some people can possess so little common sense. It bothers me, it really does....

[Boo Boo Foo]

Originally posted by PhoenixPhlame73
Meh, I've never understood how some people can possess so little common sense. It bothers me, it really does....

Ahhhh..... common sense! That about sums it up, really, doesn't it?

My theory is this... modern science is so amazingly good at keeping people alive against all the odds, from conception through child birth through the childhood years on through to the final years - well, quite frankly, the gene pool has been diluted with a huge percentage of people who go through life never having to employ common sense as a function of daily life. We are increasingly living in a world where all of our major decisions are made easier and easier by technology. Most importantly, the very real and worthy science of "being situationally aware" is simply NOT being taught anymore.

[Master Wang-Ka]

I dunno, BBF.... I have a theory, but it's simpler and more complex, all at the same time.

I really don't think it's the gene pool. Modern medical technology hasn't been around for enough generations for the results to really crop up, statistically, although I'm not saying you're wrong, and your point remains a good one... I'm just sayin' it ain't been long enough to know that for sure.

I don't know that I'd say our major decisions are made easier by technology, either. Technology might affect what I'm going to see on TV, or what I'm going to eat for lunch, but I would have welcomed some technology that would advise me about what kind of car to get, or whether or not to get married, or what job offer to accept, or how to deal with it when a relative got cancer, or stuff like that.

I think you DO have a point about "situational awareness," though... when you've got a pair of headphones on, or a cell phone on your ear, it's very easy for even the smartest person to be distracted from what's happening around 'em.

No, what I see is less awareness of two things: class, and courtesy.

CLASS is what your mother tried to teach you when you went out to that really nice restaurant, the one where you had to wear a tie? You know, what fork to eat with, how to address the waiter, stuff like that. The idea here was to put on a good front, to convince the people around you that you were persons of quality, as opposed to any old trailer trash who happened to win the pony races this afternoon, and could therefore afford to eat with the rich folks tonight, you know?

Nowadays, except in work-related situations, no one seems to give a damn about impressing anyone or providing any kind of semblance of class.

Used to be, even people with NO class tried to at least pretend they had some class. Nowadays, either you have class... or you don't, and don't much seem to care.

...which feeds into the second issue: courtesy.

I define "common courtesy" as "a level of social politeness one should maintain under normal circumstances with total strangers in public places." That's all it is: basic politeness. Of course, class figures into it, too:

Three ways to ask a stranger the time:

"Pardon me, (sir/madam), do you have the time?"

"Hey, what time is it?"

"Hey, there, Mac, what's your watch say?"

Nowadays, however, courtesy seems to be largely optional among a good-sized segment of the population. Used to be, if enough people turned and stared, common courtesy and a sense of class demanded action of some sort, even if it was just being embarrassed enough to take your damn kid out of the theatre until he/she gets a grip.

Not any more, apparently.

I blame authority.

Used to be, there was something that went with power: noblesse oblige. Nobility with obligation. In short, if you were a big shot, you were also expected to dress, appear, and behave according to certain standards... and those standards invariably presupposed a certain level of class and courtesy towards others.

No longer. More and more, I think, a person's personal power seems to be measured by how freely he may crap upon those around him, to what extent he may be rude and arrogant to others with impunity...

...and I think that the younger set has begun to pick this up. After all, ANY kid will freely tell any adult to go to hell if he thinks he can get away with it -- kids are powerless, for the most part, and when they can stick it to a grownup and get off scot free, you'd be amazed at how many will jump at the chance, or how far they'll go.

The story above that ended with "Don't bother me or I'll say you molested me," doesn't surprise me in the least. It's the sort of power-playing that some people now substitute for courtesy when interacting with others.

Of course... this sort of thing has a price.

We live in a weird society. Every day, I look around me and think about how much the world looks like a John Waters movie. Especially when I read the news.

Something that has always been true is that you take a risk when you insult someone... unless you know EXACTLY what that person is going to do. Some guys won't do anything. Some guys will start a fight. Some guys will look at you funny, then draw a revolver and fill you with lead.

I have had several movies spoiled now by people who saw no point in wasting courtesy upon me, and I'm not gonna take it any more. Next person who inflicts a crying baby on me... or a cell phone conversation... or one of their feet.... or whatever...

...well, I'm gonna ask 'em politely to do something about their baby, or their phone, or their feet. Courtesy is important, and I mean to demonstrate all the class and courtesy I can.

...and if it doesn't work, I'm just gonna stand up and move into position and block their view of the screen, and stand right there and stare at 'em. Not gonna worry about the other people around me.

...and when they tell me to move, I'll just say "No. I tried being polite, but you blew me off. If I can't enjoy this movie I paid to see, then neither can you."

Wonder what'll happen?

Will we start hearing news stories about "Movie Theater Rage?"

[beagledave]

Ummm skip the comments about the childs behavior.

Skip the comments about the lack of discipline for said behavior.

I saw ROTK yesterday..thankfully with no loud disruptions. There WERE, however, several kids around the same age 5-6 years old.

Am I the only person who thinks that the level of violence (hell..even forgetting the 3 1/2 length) in ROTK (a pg-13 flick) really ain't appropriate for a 5 year old..even WITH a "parent" in tow?

[Greywolf73]

When I saw Cold Mountain last week, there was a woman there with her son who must have been 5 or 6. She had to keep getting up and taking him out of the theater every time there was an intense scene in the movie. Cold Mountain has several intense scenes (sex and violence), so she and the kid were going back and forth the whole time, sometimes with her hand covering his eyes.
She couldn't have actually watched more than half the movie that way.
What in the world was the point in that? I just don't see the logic in it.

[labmonkey]

I have had the teenage experience at all three films, never had the small child experience, but I can use my imagination. I really can't understand this, we have a 7 month old, I cant imagine my wife and I sitting around thinking, "Gee, I bet the baby won't mind sitting in a crowded theatre for 3.5 hours, let's go honey." We rotated this time(I saw it ROTK with a friend, then she saw it with her friend) Anyway, the teenage experience at ROTK was the worst, we went during the day, to an off time show(just to avoid this sort of thing) Exactly as the film starts, I hear cursing, blather and plunk, plunk, plunk in the seats behind me, accompianied by kicking annoying laughter, etc. So, I'm thinkin' Jesus H Christ, now I'm gonna have to move or make a scene, and then they won't shut the fuck up anyway. So, I gave them the look, they continued blathering and kicking th seats, so I sshhhdd to no effect, next is shut the fuck up, then the girl laughs and I want to loose it but instead we move, because I'm missing most of the start of the movie and I'm not going to get into a pissing contest with a bunch of little snots......argghhh, I know they're teenyboppers but I really don't remeber acting like that even when I was young, dumb and full of cum. Ugh. Cool movie though.

[Mama Tiger]

You know, I saw ROTK the first time at the trilogy and the audience was perfect. After hearing all the aggravation from other people, I'm really debating whether I want to even try to see it in the theater again, or just wait till it comes out on DVD and watch it in the peace and quiet of my own home.

[labmonkey]

Originally posted by Mama Tiger
You know, I saw ROTK the first time at the trilogy and the audience was perfect. After hearing all the aggravation from other people, I'm really debating whether I want to even try to see it in the theater again, or just wait till it comes out on DVD and watch it in the peace and quiet of my own home.

I think a marathon of that nature probably weeds out the...ummm, undesireables?

[Bear_Nenno]

What the fuck is wrong with some people? Have they no consideration for others?? Christ!

I went to ROTK this past week. I walked down three full levels of stairs and out into the lobby (yeah it was a huge theater and stadium seats) just because I started coughing uncontrolably. I mean, it was immediate. I started coughing, realized it was going to get worse and I wouldn't be able to stop and pretty much held it in the best I could until I made it into the lobby, where I began hacking my lungs out.
After I cleared myself of whatever mucous was causing the problem, I waited to make sure it wasn't going to happen again (At least not the immediate future), and I went back inside to enjoy the rest of the movie.

Why would someone ruin another's experience like that??? That is just fucked up. No ettiquete whatsoever.

[Grousser]

Some parents just think that because it's a movie of fantasy, then it's proper for the kids, so they don't have the rights to private their poor children when they are enjoying it as adults.

I've seen that reasoning before.

[GuanoLad]

Do you not have ratings assigned to movies where people under certain ages simply aren't allowed? It seems like even when they carefully Rate something a PG-13, the "PG" part negates it because somehow the imagery is okay if your Mother is sitting three seats away from you.

We have a classification of M. It does not allow people under the age of 15 into the theatre (as opposed to our rating of PG which allows them if accompanied by an adult).

ROTK is rated M.

[beagledave]

Originally posted by GuanoLad
Do you not have ratings assigned to movies where people under certain ages simply aren't allowed? It seems like even when they carefully Rate something a PG-13, the "PG" part negates it because somehow the imagery is okay if your Mother is sitting three seats away from you.

We have a classification of M. It does not allow people under the age of 15 into the theatre (as opposed to our rating of PG which allows them if accompanied by an adult).

ROTK is rated M.

The only ratings that are "supposed" to prevent certain ages into the theater are "R" and "NC-17".

With an "R" rating, an adult is "supposed" to accopmany the kid.

Even those ratings aren't really always "enforced" per se...

http://www.mpaa.org/movieratings/

ROTK was PG-13. I guess I can't really fathom taking a very young kid to a PG-13 movie.

[Obvious Guy]

Originally posted by Clark van der Lyke
A girl of abour 14 sat in back of me in the movies, took off her shoes and stuck a foot next to my ear. I waited a moment and turned and said "If you are going to sit like that, would you please make sure you wash your feet first. Her reply" Don't bother me or I will say you molested me. I moved. I guess that was her plan. Thinking back, I should have dumped my coke on her foot first.

Now that is just evil. 14yo girl or not, I would have told her I would kick her ass if she did that. No way would I get falsely accused of being a molster and thrown and jail without a little retribution.

[pepperlandgirl]

I went to the 10:30 Christmas night show. In front of me was some people my age making very not-funny comments during tense moments. To the right of me was a bunch of 12-13 year old boys yelling "Just die already!" and "faggot!" throughout the entire movie. TO the left of me is snickering, phone ringing and shouts of "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

I got my money back for that show...

[neuroman]

I think the twisted logic behind the minds of people bringing small babies into movies is this: "Maybe junior will fall asleep during the whole movie and we'll get to watch it in peace." If you took a baby to enough movies, it would sleep through them at least some of the time.

No excuse for bringing kids into the theatre, but that's the best speculatin' I can do.

[yBeayf]

I actually had a good encounter with a young child today while viewing RotK for the second time. The fellow sitting in the row behind brought in (I assume) his son, who looked to be about four years old. While I seriously question the wisdom of bringing a child that young to see a movie such as this, I must give the kid props for staying quiet for the entire film. Except for a few whispered comments to his father, I heard not a peep from him; neither did he cause any havoc as young children are wont to do. I was quite impressed.

[Mama Tiger]

I think a marathon of that nature probably weeds out the...ummm, undesireables?

Which is one reason why I sat in that theater for 18 hours. It was so totally different from the current average moviegoing experience, it was well worth the numb butt.

There has to be some way to bring social pressure to bear on people to start behaving in theaters again. I just can't figure out what it might be.

[vanilla]

I must be very lucky; I've never heard rambunctious kids in a movie.
I've gone to about 13 movies since my son was born (I started taking him about age 5) and they've been only kids movies, yet no noise.
never even heard a cellphone.
Mustbe worse in adult movies, apparently.

[nitek]

Has anyone ever tried to tell these parents in a friendly way what's going on? I can't believe that they all know how much they're bothering people but just don't care.

Also, if someone is told to "shut their kid up" or something equally rude they're going to be defensive.

Maybe try letting them in on it like you're doing them a favour. "I don't know if you're aware but many people get annoyed with a child that's loud during a movie. I know that personally it put a quite a damper on my enjoyment."

If you deliver it without any impression of judgement or reprimand I figure they'd be apologetic or embarrased. In any case it would make them more aware of the situation.

I can't give up all hope in people.

[John Mace]

Hey, when some kid is making noise, just whip out your cell phone and call the manager to come ove and take care of the situation.

[laigle]

My philosophy on ill-mannered kids and their parents at movies is this:

It's dark. Everyone in there hates them as much as I do. And it's going to be at least ten minutes before the cleaning crew comes in and finds the bodies, by which time I'll be in my car popping the Stones into the CD tray and humming a little ditty to myself.

If that's not the recipe for a perfect crime, I don't know what is.

[Palewriter]

Hm...there's an opportunity here for any theater owners out there. Restaurant owners, too. How about child-free movie theaters? Tickets cost maybe $15, but you're GUARANTEED no snotty-nosed teens, whining sucklings, terrible two's. Hell, I'd pay $20 just for the pleasure of dining without whiny kids. There are lots of places parents with kids can go. Could I please get ONE place where I can eat (and smoke) in peace?

Come on, entrepreneurs, let's have some venues that are 30+ only, other than frickin Luby's.

- PW

[Lynn Bodoni]

Some theaters are refusing to allow children at non-kiddy movies after a certain time. I can only applaud. I used to work at a theater, and sometimes I worked the box office. I was always amazed at how many people took their preteens to R-rated movies. The movies get rated for a REASON. Most R rated movies are NOT suitable for preteens. And no, I couldn't have refused to sell tickets, because the manager would have come down on my ass.

[Chefguy]

We went to see "In America" today. During the course of the movie, one person took THREE cell calls. The kid behind me, who was too young for the movie, spent the entire time asking things of his mother like, "What did he say?": "Why did he do that?"; "He's mad, isn't he?"; "Why is he shouting?" "How come they talk funny?"

STUFF A FUCKING SOCK IN IT!

[Angel of the Lord]

Palewriter, while that's basically a good idea, not everyone under the age of 30 is loud and obnoxious, and not everyone who wishes to see a movie in peace can afford to pay $15-20 a head. For that price, I can buy the DVD and watch it at home in peace and quiet. I could even smoke, were I so inclined.

As other posters have said, we need to reinstate a bit of courtesy and respect for other people in our young. I'm not saying we need to indoctrinate kids to unquestioningly accept authority, but rather to teach them that people other than themselves and their friends matter. My own sister didn't understand this concept until age 15; even though I was only born five years earlier, I understood it by age five or six. I think something's happened in the interim, though I don't know what. Or maybe I'm just getting old .

[Fionn]

Originally posted by Palewriter
Hm...there's an opportunity here for any theater owners out there. Restaurant owners, too. How about child-free movie theaters? Tickets cost maybe $15, but you're GUARANTEED no snotty-nosed teens, whining sucklings, terrible two's. Hell, I'd pay $20 just for the pleasure of dining without whiny kids. There are lots of places parents with kids can go. Could I please get ONE place where I can eat (and smoke) in peace?

There are already theaters that do a version of this. I've become a die-hard fan of the Alamo Drafthouses here in Austin because they show good movies, serve great food and drinks, and don't admit anyone under six except on Baby Days. People under 18 have to accompanied by a parent. Their showings always kick off with "No talking or we'll take your ass out." It's as close to movie-going bliss as possible.

I couldn't imagine taking a 5-year-old, let alone a 3-year-old to ROtK. Three hours is a long time to ask a kid to be quiet and sit still, even before you factor in the nightmares.

[MonkeyMensch]

Originally posted by Fionn
There are already theaters that do a version of this. I've become a die-hard fan of the Alamo Drafthouses here in Austin because they show good movies, serve great food and drinks, and don't admit anyone under six except on Baby Days. People under 18 have to accompanied by a parent. Their showings always kick off with "No talking or we'll take your ass out." It's as close to movie-going bliss as possible.

Pack the bags, Honey!

We're moving to Austin...

[Jaade]

The Alamo has now opened a theater in Houston..it is lovely.

I saw ROTK the day after it opened. Despite the fact that the movie was sold out an hour before the showing, it was the quietest movie I've been to in a year or more.


I saw Cold Mountain the other day...I was surrounded by old people (as I went in the middle of the day, when most people my age were at work.) The couple next to me couldn't hear each other. They kept making obvious observations to each other through the whole thing...twice each time...louder each time. "He got shot." "What?" "He got SHOT!" "That's her daddy" "WHAT?" "THAT'S her DADDY!" Across the way sat an older man with a younger, asian lady. I can only assume she didn't understand much english because he explained the entire movie to her word for word, for an hour. Finally, I got up, crossed the aisle and said "Excuse me sir, if you don't mind, could you at least whisper?"

He rolled his eyes at me, waved me away and continued to talk, though much quieter for the most part.

Sometimes I think I should stop going to movies. When I was a teen, I worked at the movies. Our movie theater enforced their own rules. Ushers patrolled EVERY movie, EVERY showing. They kicked out underage, made people put their feet down, told people not to talk and occasionally even checked tickets. Ohh, and they cleaned the theaters in between showings. Even the floors.

It's only been 10 years, one would think things wouldn't have changed that much. But one last story...A few weeks ago I was in the movie theater bathroom when two of the female ushers came in. They stood around at the mirrors, they had just been chewed out by management (I'd seen a bit of that firsthand too). Apparently, they had taken 45 minute breaks instead of 15 minute breaks. They couldn't believe their manager yelled at them. They couldn't believe they got in trouble for what they'd done. "Not like it was a big deal", one of them said. Between the break, the chewing out, and ensuing bathroom consoling of one another, they've now had a break of more than an hour.

Maybe it is that different.

~J

[Windwalker]

Originally posted by Obvious Guy
Now that is just evil. 14yo girl or not, I would have told her I would kick her ass if she did that. No way would I get falsely accused of being a molster and thrown and jail without a little retribution.

She wouldn't have had a case in a world, at least not until you socked her one

Though really, I can't think of much to do in the case of her putting her foot right next to your face. If you lay a finger on her, you're screwed. Powerless in the face of a 14-year old girl bully. Nothing to do but tattle to the manager, I guess.

Gotta love America.

[Little Plastic Ninja]

Oddly enough, some friends of mine took their 3-and-a-half year old girl to see RotK. A recipe for trouble, you'd think...but she was enraptured throughout except for about the last twenty minutes -- and sitting in Daddy's lap for that bit was enough to keep her from being fidgety.

Then again, they're good folks -- and the girl was raised by a bunch of people who cared a good deal for her and weren't about to put up with any foolishness. She's always been good in movies -- she was just a wee little thing when they took her to Monsters, Inc and she was utterly silent all through it.

As for little kids going to see the LotR movies...well, they certainly are violent, as are the books themselves. And they're not exactly easy to understand. I'm biased, though -- my dad read me the Hobbit when I was about six and started on the rest of the trilogy right after. It's not the easiest material, but it's not impossible, either...

Still -- I wouldn't take a kid of less than, say, seven or eight to see it. Assuming a high level of maturity on the kid. And no child under my care would be fussy in a theater -- at least, not for very long. I don't care how much we spent on tickets -- more than one "Shh" from me and we're gone.

[catsix]

istara said:
catsix - when that happens you need to leave the theatre, find the manager, and demand your money back.

avabeth said:
catsix, I would have grabbed a manager. I think complaints about unruly children are becoming more common - and people are becoming less and less afraid to complain about them.

And the only reason I didn't was so that I would not have to trample down the narrow row over 30 or 40 more people, thus disrupting the experience for even more people, in order to get outside and find a manager, then have all of those people disrupted again if/when the manager showed up to tell the idiot with the demon to leave.

By the time the movie ended, the theatre was closing and the manager was already gone. I won't be giving that theatre any more of my money, either.

Palewriter said:
Hm...there's an opportunity here for any theater owners out there. Restaurant owners, too. How about child-free movie theaters? Tickets cost maybe $15, but you're GUARANTEED no snotty-nosed teens, whining sucklings, terrible two's. Hell, I'd pay $20 just for the pleasure of dining without whiny kids. There are lots of places parents with kids can go. Could I please get ONE place where I can eat (and smoke) in peace?

Can I go to dinner and a movie with you? I'll pay for my own!

Windwalker said:
She wouldn't have had a case in a world, at least not until you socked her one

Would it matter? Once she makes the accusation and the cops take over, it's not long before his name and picture are on the news and in the newspaper with the headline that he was accused of molesting a 14 year old girl. By the time they figure out her accusation is totally false, his reputation's already smeared.

[Jaade]

catsix

By the time the movie ended, the theatre was closing and the manager was already gone. I won't be giving that theatre any more of my money, either.

Err...are you sure? There is usually a manager there until the last person leaves the theater. The manager is responsible for collecting all of the monies, and locking the door at the end of the night, at the least. I would guess that very few managers would leave their keys with another employee.

[Mr. Miskatonic]

When I saw Master & Commander there was a screaming baby. But what amused me was that there was a very short "pre-film" from project Greenlight called "Mafia Movie Madness". THe presmise was a theater run by mafia goons straight out of central casting doing mafia stuff in the theater. For example, when a guy wants to buy a small coke, he gets persuaded to buy a large.

But.

Just before the movie in the mafia theater starts, two tough guys with baseball bats stand in the aisle and say "anyone talks or makes any noise, dey get somma dis" (waves bat). Its suppose to be humorously showing an intimidating theater.

But all I could think of was: Where is this theater? I want to see all my movies there from now on.

My thought is that the little pre films that tell people to be quiet, take their feet off the seats in front of them, and depost trash need to be a little more firm. Something like:

"If that baby starts screaming, get him OUT OF THE THEATER or he will soon be an orphan." Cartoon of parents being brutalized.

"No talking. SHUT THE HELL UP! THIS ISN'T YOUR LIVING ROOM! OTHER PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO WATCH THE MOVIE" cartoon of person duct taped to chair.

"Please turn off cell phones and pagers. THIS MEANS YOU! YOU WON'T GET AN EMERGENCY CALL DURING THIS MOVIE. PEOPLE LIVED FOR DECADES GOING TO THEATERS WITHOUT CELL PHONES SO DEAL." Image of a lightning bolt hitting a cell phone.

"Please take your feet off the seat in front of you. OR WE'LL USE OUR OWN METHOD OF REMOVING THEM" Cartoon of chainsaw going through legs.

They need to be more firm. A woman putting her finger to her lips isn't going to do it.

[asterion]

Mr. Miskatonic, that sounds like something that's the start of the movie Tampopo. I don't remember exactly what happens, but it's definitely something like that, and built into the movie to boot.